Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 178

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   nerdtonurse?
    No stars, I just snorted my soda out of my nose. Now that song's going in MY head...rats!
  2. by   nerdtonurse?
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    Glad everyone's getting a kick out of the 'hoo-hoo', lol.


    (In the last 2 months, I have sent folks for a CXR or a CT or an MRI, just based on an 'utz' in my belly, something wasn't right. And I've found a Stage 4 brain tumor, 3 lung cancers, a dissecting AAA, and a DVT. And it scares me to death.)

    .
    I've found prostate CA when disimpacting elderly males, I've found breast CA while bathing someone who hasn't had one in a while. Skin cancers, and my "spidey sense" told me to badger the doc to order troponins on people who turned out to be having "silent" MIs. All I can think of is, what if I'd been too busy to notice, had opted for an enema instead of a digital disimpaction, etc? We're getting tons of AAAs recently; don't know if it's just the baby boomers hitting the age where the things finally get big enough to be a problem, or what, but it's freaking me out. When I can hear your heartbeat better an inch above your navel than I can between intercostal 5 and 7? Yikes!
  3. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Quote from nerdtonurse?
    I've found prostate CA when disimpacting elderly males, I've found breast CA while bathing someone who hasn't had one in a while. Skin cancers, and my "spidey sense" told me to badger the doc to order troponins on people who turned out to be having "silent" MIs. All I can think of is, what if I'd been too busy to notice, had opted for an enema instead of a digital disimpaction, etc? We're getting tons of AAAs recently; don't know if it's just the baby boomers hitting the age where the things finally get big enough to be a problem, or what, but it's freaking me out. When I can hear your heartbeat better an inch above your navel than I can between intercostal 5 and 7? Yikes!


    DOUBLE YIKES!!
  4. by   carrie_c
    Quote from nerdtonurse?
    If you don't sit down, shut up, and quit throwing a fit because you can't drink and smoke while in the ICU on oxygen (despite being offered nicotine patches), I just may let you do both. Please let me know what funeral home you intend to use before lighting up, however, and give me time to evacuate the patients that still have some sense left.
    Too funny!!
  5. by   carrie_c
    Quote from DixieRedHead
    30-60 year old men with high blood pressure:

    "I already know why you don't take your blood pressure medicine. And No, it's not the cost,and it's not because you forgot, and it's not because you don't like to take pills. It's because the (above mentioned) hoo hoo doesn't work that well when you take it.

    So tell me, which side do you like to lay on the most? Because when you have your stroke I will be sure to tell the nursing home your preference so you can be on that side the most. And by the way that hoo hoo won't be of much use to you there either."
    HAHA!!
  6. by   Poi Dog
    Go home, I promise you that I won't stop you.
  7. by   opossum
    Lately, I've had more issues with family members than pts...and here's what I'd love to say:

    1. Stop pushing our docs around, bullying them into withholding necessary meds/treatments or ordering unnecessary, not-clinically-indicated tx simply because you're too afraid to give an ounce of control to anyone else. And quit bullying us nurses.

    2. It's cute that you're boasting about how your doctor "yells" at you for giving your 2-month old rice cereal and that you "don't care" what they say. I'm so glad you're now here with your loved one, making unrealistic demands to the docs and nurses. After all, you know best.

    3. Congratulations on achieving your medical, nursing and phys therapy degrees. I'm especially impressed with your knowledge of fluid dynamics, alerting me to the fact that your loved one is "dehydrated" because they are "peeing a lot" and insist upon IV fluids for your dying pt. Certainly no small feat...you must have spent hours on webmd.com. Kudos to you!
  8. by   carolmaccas66
    Don't tell me my job, until you've actually done MY JOB as an agency RN! I wouldn't come to your workplace if u were a construction engineer & tell you how to put up a building. I wouldn't be so arrogant like ur being now.
  9. by   Racklebrown
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    Rackle, try quoting what you're referencing/replying to...having trouble following you, lol!
    I realized that after the fact. I was new to the site and trying to figure out the mobile app for it at the same time. Lol,I think I've got it now.
  10. by   Wave Watcher
    Young adult male patient: Why yes there is a nice size bulb at the end of your catheter....that's why when you tried to pull it out you're now nice and swollen. Good luck with that one!
  11. by   Poi Dog
    How would you like it if someone is yelling at you while you are trying to make BM?
    (to the resident's who had a shouting match - one in the bathroom, one on the other side of the door)

    I love my job. I love my job.
  12. by   ProgressiveActivist
    don't call me again unless you're ******* dying!
  13. by   Aurora77
    To the combative, verbally abusive pt who was threatening to leave AMA: "I get paid by the hour, not the patient, so I don't care if you stay."

    To that same pt who told me I "haven't done a damn thing" to help her: "I'm only psychic on the weekends. On Tuesdays, you need to tell me that you have pain. That's why the NS you've got running has done nothing for your pain."

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