Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 174

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   talaxandra
    But can she have some morphine?
  2. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from talaxandra
    But can she have some morphine?
    NO SHE CAN'T HAVE ANY MORPHINE!!! Hee hee hee!
  3. by   SuperStarRN
    No we do not have any juice! Does this look like a ******* cafe? I will get you a cup of WATER though.
    If you ask me how much longer you have you have left 1 more time!
    No we will not call in a refill for you because at the rate that you need refills we figure you are either an addict or making good money selling the pills.
    Stop hitting on me! I take care of sick people all day what makes you think that I want to do it in my personal time!
  4. by   AngelfireRN
    "No, the only pain in the butt in here for me is YOU!"

    This to the lovely LOM, who watched me walk in and ease myself down on my stool (the baby is killing my back), snurled up his nose, and snipped,

    "What'sa matter? You got hemorrhoids?"
  5. by   SuperStarRN
    Quote from SuperStarLPN
    No we do not have any juice! Does this look like a ******* cafe? I will get you a cup of WATER though.
    Just FYI for anyone reading this, the bleeped out part was not a curse word. It was automatically bleeped out when I posted for some reason or another.
  6. by   Poi Dog
    No I will not go and get you ice cream. It's 0430 and all the stores are closed. Swearing at me is not going to make me change my mind so let's not go there, buddy boy.
  7. by   nerdtonurse?
    I don't care if you think you don't need a bath. You've got at least 2 months of dead skin on those feet, you're a 30 year old walkie talkie who can bathe yourself, there's no medical or cultural reason you haven't been bathing. You stink to the point where you are making the people who work here gag, and I can smell your unwashed bottom from the doorway. If it was up to me, I'd put you in the back of a pickup truck and drive thru the carwash 5 or 6 times rather than do this by hand. And when I go home, I may decide to burn my scrubs.
  8. by   Poi Dog
    Quote from nerdtonurse?
    I don't care if you think you don't need a bath. You've got at least 2 months of dead skin on those feet, you're a 30 year old walkie talkie who can bathe yourself, there's no medical or cultural reason you haven't been bathing. You stink to the point where you are making the people who work here gag, and I can smell your unwashed bottom from the doorway. If it was up to me, I'd put you in the back of a pickup truck and drive thru the carwash 5 or 6 times rather than do this by hand. And when I go home, I may decide to burn my scrubs.


    When they start smelling like something found at Pike Place Market, it's time to load 'em up for a trip to the Chevron car wash.
    Last edit by Poi Dog on Oct 9, '11
  9. by   opossum
    That's not an allergy!!

    Feeling nauseous after taking Vicodin, having "bad dreams" with morphine, etc...those are simply side effects (or adverse effects, if you want to be technical here). But definitely not an allergy. And now I have to log it in your chart that you are "allergic" to something simply because of a common side effect, or because you don't like the taste of it. Unfortunately, it's not in my scope of practice to determine what your allergies are, so I have to rely upon your ridiculous word.

    Again, that's not an allergy.

    "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
  10. by   ElvishDNP
    You left your baby sitting in a meconium diaper for several hours. Do not gripe at me when I have to practically scrape it off his hiney and make him cry in the process.
  11. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    opossum--
    My MIL is one of thosewho is 'allergic' to ....it would seem.....everything!
    She's always saying she 'can't breathe' ...and all the while complaining outloud and without a wheeze or a gasp. Never gets a rash or swelling or anything to indicate an allergy. She refuses to think it might be an emotional/mental problem she has. I honestly don't know how her doc puts up with her. She goes to have massages to 'move the toxins' out of her body, and these are just nice, non-medical type massages. But she thinks they work because her skin 'itches' afterwards. Couldn't be the increased circulation of where she's been rubbed, noooo, it's those built-up toxins from her allergies, doncha know. I have been sorely tempted to instruct her on what a true allergic reaction is, but I'm afraid it would give her ideas, a little knowledge being a dangerous thing!
  12. by   aloevera
    It has been my experience that if one gets nauseous when taking vicodin, they don't need it in the first place !!!! if they are in pain, they won't feel nauseous !! sounds like med seeking, to me..........
  13. by   talaxandra
    Quote from Poi Dog
    When they start smelling like something found at Pike Place Market, it's time to load 'em up for a trip to the Chevron car wash.
    Totally OT but I visited Seattle for the first time (actually my first time to the West Coast) in July this year and really liked it, particularly the underground tour Now, back to things all patients would be better off hearing!

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