Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 168

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   nurse32
    Quote from mds1
    I know this is off topic, but once as a patient myself, i wanted to say this to my nurse::::
    I have an epidural line infusing and have had since surgery. I CAN"T feel anything below my waist! I don't know if I have to pee, and since it is 8 hours since surgery, I am sure I need the bedpan. 15 minutes later, NO I do not know if I have used the bedpan....I CAN"T FEEL ANYTHING!::
    this was happened every time that night I thought i might need to urinate. I still can't believe that I had to be the one to say I might need the bedpan EIGHT hours after surgery. No one had checked with me.
    Is it just me, or shouldn't someone have checked on my need to urinate before eight hours?
    I had a very similar experience. But nobody came to the rescue. I guess they must have been understaffed. I ended up waiting 2 hours! At the end I had to be catherized. It filled the pail to the top. The nurse kept on muttering, "WOW!"
  2. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from EodwifeRN
    Your catastrophe is not my emergency.
    No you can not have a friend bringing your 24-hr urine. It is not our fault your drug screens are coming up positive. Excuse us for not wanting to deliver a drug addicted baby!
    Birth control has been around for years, where have you been?
    Either he has been with someone else or you have. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Trich, I would just sit and wait for the call from the state and pray your insides don't self destruct.
    No we can not just prescribe you an antibiotic over the phone.
    Since your mother thinks it is ok for you to wait to be seen, even though you tore something during sex and now can't walk, your mother can treat you also. Click
    I so laughed reading this! My gf is a midwife and she asked a woman once - who was 20 or so & kept having all these babies to different fathers - if she used contraception. The woman replied: 'What's that?' No-one it seemed had taught her anything re using any form of birth control - I still think she must have been a little dim not to have heard of it though!
    Makes you wonder about some people doesn't it?
  3. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from Florence NightinFAIL
    All to the same patient two nights ago:
    • I told you 6 times I don't know when the doctor will come in. It suprises me as much as it does you.
    • No I will not call for non-urgent issues. I told you that already. I left a note and it will be addressed in the morning. You had a BM 2 days ago - you don't have constipation and it's not an emergency.
    • Please shut up and go to sleep before I explode.
    • I don't know what your x-ray says. I don't have access to that. The doctor will let you know. I told you that three times. What part do you not understand?
    • No, I don't know why he ordered another x-ray. Refer to the above.
    • I don't have the authority to let you go to your son's graduation. You NEED to be in the hospital. You can't check out and in like a hotel. Sorry.
    • If you don't want me to change your NG - stop complaining about how uncomfortable/irritating it is everytime I come in. I really don't care since you just want to whine.
    • You are told to be NPO for a reason. Stop sneaking in drinks. That messes with the NG output and affects your care. Stop asking your son to lie for you.
    • I can't take the NG tube out. That's a doctor's order. Besides, that's the reason you are here for. We did not put it in for sh!ts and giggles.
    • I'm not going to bring you a bedpan so that you can soak the bed again. Get up and use the bathroom or the commode. You are a young woman and completely independent.
    • You are not ordered a sleeping pill and it's 4 oclock in the morning. I left a note for the doctor to order it in the morning so you can have it the following night.
    • I said I can't give you sleeping pill now. I legally cannot.
    I was soooooooooooo glad to leave! I had sicker pts and this lady took up all my time and made my whole day busy and miserable.
    At least you gave me a laugh after an exhausting, tiring day and a very long job interview (got the job), where I had to do a complicated medication calculations exam! Thanks, it's just what I needed!
    I also had a patient like this one night shift. She'd had shoulder surgery, whined the whole night (I didn't mind that so much), but she refused strong pain med's (except panadol), and wanted to make a complaint re the anaesthetist, which I had nothing to do with. I gave her a lot of my time that night & really tried to get her comfortable, but nothing was going to pacify her. I finally told her shoulder surgery HURTS - it's especially uncomfortable cos you can't GET comfortable, no matter how many pillows & slings you use, you have to sleep sitting up. I also told her I was neglecting my many other post-op patients due to her & she finally slept 4 a bit. I couldn't WAIT to get out the door that morning!
  4. by   sweetnepenthe
    It is always amazing to me that many people do not understand that they will experience pain after surgery
  5. by   Chixie
    Just go home!
  6. by   AngelfireRN
    I DID say this today...I was ashamed after, until my OM backed me, and said that Doc would have done the same thing.

    A patient came in and said that she had arbitrarily stopped taking her Lexapro (of which she was on a higher dose) cold-turkey, because she was having chest pains, and her friend told her Lexapro caused that.

    "When did you start having the chest pains?"

    "About a month ago."

    "Did you call here and notify us?"

    "No, my friend said the Lexapro was causing it, so I just stopped. I'm telling you now."

    "So, let me get this straight...you were having chest pains, and rather than call us and let us tell you what to do, you just took the word of a friend, adjusted your own meds, and left it."

    "Well, yeah...she said that she had the same thing."

    "That's really good, X. Do you realize you could have been having a heart attack, or something SERIOUS? Do you know that Lexapro has to be titrated, and that quitting cold-turkey can cause MAJOR issues? Did your friend tell you any of THAT?"

    "No...hey are you mad?"

    ""Yes. Yes I am. I get mad when my patients don't do what they're supposed to do, and when they do things that could hurt them, and that includes adjusting your own meds and not calling us when you're having chest pain!"

    "Well, nothing happened...hey, can I have an extra Lorcet a day? I started taking 5 a day and it really helps....."

    One look from me at that point and she shut up. Spare me from the Google Med School graduates and the "Well, my friend..." scholars.

    Last I heard, doc was checking her chart, and was considering dismissal for noncompliance. Seems it wasn't the first time she'd done this.

    Oh, and apparently the door was open in the next room (there are 2 that separate the exam rooms, ours was closed, as always). I know my voice carries, you can hear a pin drop in that office, the insulation is so bad. I had made every effort NOT to yell, and did well, I thought, until my next patient (who is used to me and my views on compliance) walked in, sat down, and greeted me with..."I've been taking mine like I was supposed to."

    Gotta love it.
  7. by   AngelfireRN
    "Please leave the door open, or cracked, if you don't mind." This was a walk-in, my last patient of the day, and no one else was in office except staff, so no danger of HIPAA violations.

    "Oh, are you hot?"

    "Yes, it gets stuffy in here."

    What I WANTED to say was..."Yes, and you reek to high Heaven and I don't want to be closed up with it." It amazes me how many people come in just rank with body odor. And as bad as I feel for noticing...it's called a bath, and soap is cheap. Much cheaper than that gold mine hanging around your neck and the cigs in your pocket.

    Not much bothers me, except noncompliance. Nasty, though....nasty definitely bothers me.
  8. by   Five&Two Will Do
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    I DID say this today...I was ashamed after, until my OM backed me, and said that Doc would have done the same thing.

    A patient came in and said that she had arbitrarily stopped taking her Lexapro (of which she was on a higher dose) cold-turkey, because she was having chest pains, and her friend told her Lexapro caused that.

    "When did you start having the chest pains?"

    "About a month ago."

    "Did you call here and notify us?"

    "No, my friend said the Lexapro was causing it, so I just stopped. I'm telling you now."

    "So, let me get this straight...you were having chest pains, and rather than call us and let us tell you what to do, you just took the word of a friend, adjusted your own meds, and left it."

    "Well, yeah...she said that she had the same thing."

    "That's really good, X. Do you realize you could have been having a heart attack, or something SERIOUS? Do you know that Lexapro has to be titrated, and that quitting cold-turkey can cause MAJOR issues? Did your friend tell you any of THAT?"

    "No...hey are you mad?"

    ""Yes. Yes I am. I get mad when my patients don't do what they're supposed to do, and when they do things that could hurt them, and that includes adjusting your own meds and not calling us when you're having chest pain!"

    "Well, nothing happened...hey, can I have an extra Lorcet a day? I started taking 5 a day and it really helps....."

    One look from me at that point and she shut up. Spare me from the Google Med School graduates and the "Well, my friend..." scholars.

    Last I heard, doc was checking her chart, and was considering dismissal for noncompliance. Seems it wasn't the first time she'd done this.

    Oh, and apparently the door was open in the next room (there are 2 that separate the exam rooms, ours was closed, as always). I know my voice carries, you can hear a pin drop in that office, the insulation is so bad. I had made every effort NOT to yell, and did well, I thought, until my next patient (who is used to me and my views on compliance) walked in, sat down, and greeted me with..."I've been taking mine like I was supposed to."

    Gotta love it.

    LOL That's what I'm talking about!
  9. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from Five&Two Will Do
    LOL That's what I'm talking about!
    Thank you, thank you. It was our last day before vacation, and I think I'm due. My BS tolerance level was at an all-time low today, lol.
  10. by   talaxandra
    AngelFire, I liked
    my next patient (who is used to me and my views on compliance) walked in, sat down, and greeted me with..."I've been taking mine like I was supposed to."
  11. by   talaxandra
    Quote from sweetnepenthe
    It is always amazing to me that many people do not understand that they will experience pain after surgery
    People are, I know none of us is surprised to learn, morons - I had surgery a couple of years ago to pin a couple of broken bones in my hand. While I was being consented the surgeon warned me that I'd have scarring - I was so tempted to reply "Really? You can't insert the screws with just the power of your mind? Damn, that sucks! What about my career as a hand model?" because clearly some people are surprised to realise surgery and scars go together...
  12. by   Five&Two Will Do
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    Thank you, thank you. It was our last day before vacation, and I think I'm due. My BS tolerance level was at an all-time low today, lol.
    As is mine this is friday in "Mike World" and the BS with OD patient in the back that is "delirious" and calling my sweet coworkers **tches and everything else certaily could stand the old 5&2 in the leg if you know what i mean. We just had a nice chat me and him though and he is doing a bit better for now!! Come on 0800!
  13. by   Five&Two Will Do
    Oh yeah that chat involved an upgrade in the quality and number of restraints he is in!

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