Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 163

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   steelydanfan
    " I cannot believe you allowed your new (son/grandson/niece) to be brought into a HOSPITAL because you couldn't live another day without seeing them".

    For heavens sake, we isolate PUPPIES for 14 weeks until thier immunity takes hold.

    Don't people realize the dangers of bringing a baby into a hospital that is simply RIDDLED with germs?
  2. by   JBudd
    Quote from steelydanfan
    "Don't people realize the dangers of bringing a baby into a hospital that is simply RIDDLED with germs?
    And then let them crawl all over the floor, and play with the big red bins marked BIOHAZARD.

    "Are you idiots or just really don't care what your kid is doing? Have you ever heard of germs? They KILL children!"

    What I actually say is, "you really don't want your kid on these floors".
  3. by   brillohead
    Quote from JBudd
    And then let them crawl all over the floor, and play with the big red bins marked BIOHAZARD.

    Just the THOUGHT of that totally squicks me out!
  4. by   enchantmentdis
    Gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. Dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
  5. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from enchantmentdis
    Gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. Dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
    Well, just snorted Dew up my nose yet again. Thanks for that, lol.
  6. by   enchantmentdis
    You just told me your mom choked and sputtered on food and fluids and that doctor said she had aspiration pneumonia. The patient is unable to hold her head up. You, a pharmacist no less, actually asked me "Well, since she already aspirated and has pneumonia already can we still force food and fluids so she doesn't starve to death?" "Isn't starving to death worse than having pneumonia?". Nurse says, "Let's see your Mom's lungs sound like a toilet and i can hear that as i was open your front door. How about we not subject her to any more torture and you start giving the atropine now." "Your Mom doesn't have time to die of starvation, she weighs 250 pounds and she is near death due to you suffocating her with fluids and refusing to give lasix all these weaks." "Too late now; you have killed your Mom with food and fluids."
  7. by   thehipcrip
    Quote from pattisarm
    I am glad you are not my nurse. Obviously you have never been a patient or had anyone you know as a patient. These people are under a lot of stress. I've been a nurse for 22 years and learned your patients will treat you with the same respect you give them. Maybe that's why you are so jaded after such a short career.
    Speaking as one of those patients who are under a lot of stress when in the hospital, I would be *thrilled* if the nurses who cared for me could tell the self-entitled, whiny malcontents with whom I've been forced to share a room all these things and more!

    It's a nightmare to be seriously ill and condemned to spend 24 hours a day stuck in a room with an idiot in the next bed. For example, the last time I was hospitalized was to treat an infection with IV ABX. On top of feeling just awful, the infection exacerbated my chronic central pain to a point beyond which my usual dose of pain meds was effective. I was miserable enough on my own without being forced to listen to my roommate, a 20-something year old woman admitted for GI bleeding, balk and whine for hours about having to drink the two bottles of magnesium citrate her doctor had ordered as prep for a colonoscopy. I would have paid good money the RN caring for us (who was really good at her job in addition to being a really nice person) to be able to say to this snotty little whiner, "Look, you're getting cleaned out one way or another. If you think this is torture, just wait until they send me later in to shove a tube up your butt and pump you full of soapy water. So quit your ********, hold your nose, drink this down, and get your behind into the bathroom!"
  8. by   RHC81
    Quote from enchantmentdis
    Gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. Dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
    My mom (a BSN) and I have wondered whether botany would be more our speed. Plants don't act bat"stuff" crazy. Usually.
  9. by   RHC81
    Oh, and the last time I was a patient in the ER, I would love to have said, "Look, lady...you're eating Burger King and sneaking smoke breaks when you think the staff can't see. I know the waiting room's boring. But if you truly had that 'extreme abdominal pain at a 10' you keep rolling around on the chairs and groaning and screaming about when any staff walk through, you wouldn't want Burger King. Trust me. But bravissimo on your Oscar-worthy performance."
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from enchantmentdis
    gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
    [font="comic sans ms"]that one should have had a beverage alert!!
  11. by   AngelfireRN
    "If you don't turn loose of my wrist and quit trying to kiss me NOW, you're gonna be drawing back a nub."

    "No, for the 3rd time, I will NOT make an exception and "call your meds in right away so you don't have to make 2 trips". Our med policy applies to any and all, and all you're going to accomplish by haranguing me is to get yourself booted to the bottom of the stack."

    "I am so NOT BELIEVING you just pulled this crap. Leave. This. Property. RIGHT NOW! Before I call the law." (This was a 30-something, able-bodied guy who came in, claiming to have to go out of town to work, and wanting to be seen. Sure, we worked him in, with the caveat that his meds would be called in on his appt date. No early refills, no exceptions, no way. Per doc. So this joker proceeds to whine to me, the tech, AND the receptionist about the injustice of it all, and THEN, after his happy tail was out the door, our referal gal comes in, and says, "Kimmy's got a visitor out back." Yep, that fool pulled around back, hollered to the referral gal to get Kimmy, so he could wheedle her some more about calling his meds in early. I went out and dealt with him. Our OM threatened to dismiss him.)

    "What part of 'no' is difficult for you?"
  12. by   AngelfireRN
    Oh, and lest I forget...our waiting list for new patients is 200-strong. I know, I databased it myself. Before I computerized it, it was in a notebook that resembled my recipe file. And yep, it was a safe bet over the years that some names didn't make it to the book.

    So, in walks this person, wife in tow, and proceeds to come to the window, wallet in hand (for money or insurance cards, we never determined).

    "I'm here to see the doc."

    "OK, are you a patient here, sir?"

    "I've been on that waiting list for a year and a half. I'm here to see the doc."

    No appt, nothing. He just took it on himself to decide that today was the day.

    "I'm sorry, sir, you'll have to have an appt. May I have your name? We'll see where you are on the list."

    He wasn't on the list. The news was not received well.

    "I want to see the D$^# doc! I'm HURTING!"

    "I'm sorry, sir, but we'll have to call you with an appt. May we have your info again?"

    Patient spouts various expletives, to which Kimmy replies, "You know, attitude has a lot to do with when you get in to be seen."

    "I said I'm HURTING!"

    Me: "And I'm sorry. We are not a pain clinic. We'll be happy to put you back on the list."

    "That's all right, stand there and act like a liar." He stormed out, cussing the whole way, with a waiting room full of patients. And his wife had the gall to still try and give us his info.

    "That's OK, ma'am, he won't be going on our list." She stood there for a minute, gawping at me, then left. What I'd have loved to say at that point....
    "Did you just stand here and watch the same behavior I did? And you still think we're going to take him as a patient?!?"
  13. by   brillohead
    Quote from RHC81
    My mom (a BSN) and I have wondered whether botany would be more our speed. Plants don't act bat"stuff" crazy. Usually.
    A friend just calls it "bat guano crazy"!

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