The "bully" nurse - Page 9Register Today!
- Mar 19, '09 by moosha1My reaction has always been feigned ignorance of the thinly-veiled insults or calm replies to the screaming beat-downs. It does, however, take its toll! It is so difficult to deal with oftentimes difficult patients and their families when my reserve strength has been spent on keeping myself from a good cry. Not to mention my concern that my patients think me simple minded because I don't react. I often doubt they think it is professional to offer a cool smile when being berated in front of others-but an act of cowardice or stupidity.
- Mar 19, '09 by zuziAre a lot of sites about "bullies" and antibullying policy. As much as I know are not any policy in facility about bulling. How you could prove that you was bullied? Is a waste of energy to prove it! In fact, always the facility will try to hide it, is not good at all for their name, their reputation, always I told that you could not fight alone with all and with bare hands.
People bully because they learnt it. And they know which one could be choose to be bulled, they will choose always the weak part of team. No one will bully a high level positioned people, will be bulled the weak ones, new ones, foreign ones, beginners. people with cultural, sexual and with any other different orientations.
Bullying is a state to be in some facilities. Most of bullies are stalkers also, they gain information about their subject, they keep it and act acordingly.
For this reason people from here in US, keep their life and information private to not be used against them. Is good is bad... who knows..."how beuatiful wheater was today!" looool when you hear somenthing like that you need to know that they don't want to talk about them sleve, or talking about cats/ dogs or about food. People are scarred, are so many bads around. You don't want to be bulled!
Whatever will be, you don't need to let a bully put you down!
You could not figh with a bully, because if he/she is like that he/she developed this behavior in time and can't be changed is a bullying personality.
I will give you a typical case of a bully nurse unbalanced with him self, he never was accepted who he is now, he nevere was accepted his identity, he nevere was accepted his life how is now, he never accepted his limits.... so he developed viciouse paths to compensate all this unbalances.
He was teacher... now he works like nurse and bully all people somehow connected with education...I was there and I show it! Teasing, trying to put people in trouble in the front with others to make them to look stupid and came with "intelectual smart" responses. Assign the most critical patients to the most new nurses and keep tracking on mistakes pinpointed on them. Make them to fell unwelcomed and told them that they don't belong!
He was gay, I knew him from the times when he was gay, I was there when he opend him slef like gay for community, he choosed to marry with a gurl, years after, because gurl by her position and parents network could let him to be in high social position that he dreams at. He declare himslef straight now! LOOOOL. He starts to bully all people in contact with LGBT community. I was there and I looked in his eyes, I was just to tell him..."you need to be ashame for what you do now!" He never will accept his real indentity anymore...
He is not what he dremead to be, he dremed to do be " the name" and is just "a nurse", and he bully all nurses because he belive about him slef that is the one, the SUPERIOR.
He came from a family that had servants and used servants in his chilhood, is hard for him to talk and motivate people in another way than to upside down, because he fell that is Superior, by borning. Is hard to understand him if you don't try to walk in his shoes for a moment.
You could not change a bully... is waste of time, energy and hope. So if you are bulled, inform superiors and go out of there, not waste your time and energy.
- Mar 19, '09 by PeaceonearthRNBullies exist because one lies and the other follows..
Embarrasing a new employee about a mistake by OPENLY chiding them is bullying; getting that tough girl/guy look on your face when your not happy with that new employee is intimidation. Constantly running to management for them to regularly 'correct' and 'put a new employee' in their place is 'utilization and misuse of managment'; as well, this does not allow for teaching moments. Instead it creates a situation where the individual is afraid to come to work as they may make another error, be embarrssed in front of everyone, have their dialouge twisted and be made to look like a complete loser. Managment does not want to believe that their 'seasoned' people are having the time of their life making someone else's life miserable; instead of creating teaching moments, skills building and assisting individuals understand the greater picture, they listen to the old times and the cycle continues. It's discusting!
- Mar 19, '09 by salibiwhat happens when the bully is the nurse manager who has made her co-bullies the charge nurses and the hospital management isn't interested or even believes that the nurse manager is a bully because her intimidation tactics have gotten the unit high press ganey (spelling?) scores?
- Mar 25, '09 by Hebb:wink2:I have enjoyed reading all of these posts for over an hour. I love the many suggestions we offer one another and offer of help to each other to feel like we are 'normal' in one aspect of this field of Nursing we chose together. I have seen bullying, felt bullying, confronted bullying. I have become a better Nurse for this. I have witnessed many bullies, and frankly, feel bad for them and their waste of energy to feel powerful. I am not a loud person. If I have something to say, I say it. I don't holler or raise my voice. If I see something that needs changed, I bring suggestions. If I see someone being bullied, I go over and ask, "hey, what's going on?? And give the bully the evil eye and continue to nuture the learner. Firstly, I believe we are human and need to feel like we belong in a positive way. That we are to be respected, not inspected. Secondly, I believe we need to listen to our innerself, and we "know" when we are being bullied, or put down, or made feel bad. This is when we need to rise up and listen to that little voice inside us saying, "hey, why am I allowing this person to talk to me this way", "I AM going to stand up for myself. I will feel better when I do this. I am a good person, I am a smart person, I am a believer in my accomplishments this far, and I am not tolerating your negativity in MY space. Please refrain from speaking to me unless you have some positive evergy to bring my way." "I am only listening to positive, helpful and encouraging comments today". Thirdly, my wish is for the work to get done, the Nurses to get along, the staff to work together as a team, and for everyone to leave at the end of the day feeling good. Amen!:redpinkhe
- Mar 26, '09 by ~Mi Vida Loca~RNI sure hope I don't encounter bullies, it won't fly well. I was bullied in elementary school really bad, I was the poor, abused child. Went to school in second hand raggedy clothes or my sisters hand me downs, always had bruises all over me, was very shy and introverted or I would act out. Finally I got into JHS and was at a new school and this group of girls would bully me, I took wood shop and was the only girl and got along with the guys really well and so these girls were insecure and would push me around. I went home crying and my step dad told me that if I didn't stand up for myself the next day that he would beat me. The girls never bullied me again, one went to turn my head because I wouldn't look at her friend when she was talking to me and at that moment I got a rush of adrenalin and stood up for myself.
I have never been bullied again. I did make it my mission for a long time to bully the bullies, may not have been the appriopitate thing to do, but it made me feel good and turned the tables for once. I always stand up for the "little guy" as well. I have talked to my kids about bullying a lot and taught them to stand up for others as well.
I was looking at the employee handbook for the Hospital I hope to work at, and it seems like they have a very strict policy on any negative behavior (rudeness, gossiping, antagonizing, belittling) you have to sign the paper saying you will not participiate in any of it and talking about the serious reprocussions about it so hopefully it wont be a problem there.
- Mar 26, '09 by NurseShellyQuote from boredofnursingWell said!!!!I have a saying, "Nurses eat their young" This is what I tell all new nurses. The bully nurse to me is defined as the older nurse, not in age but in experience, who tests your knowledge about your patients by requiring an "anal" and exausting report on each patient. To have yourself ignored as he, she, flips through the chart as you speak, or reviews the assessment for a mundane insignificant detail that has no bearing on the patients present condition. Their endless questions and complaints about what did or didn't get accomplished during your busy understaffed shift. This is an attempt at intimidation and in my opinion is determental to new nurse's job satisfaction. Remember we are a team and it is a 24 hour job. As a new nurse 9 years ago, I was repeatedly drilled until I could take it no more and faught back. But unfortunately some of my class mates did not ,and thus quit the floor. Nurse's don't eat your young, our job is stressful enough without this going on. Be a mentor instead, instruction not destruction. Hint for all new nurses, the "bully" nurse doesn't respond well likewise and they usually will leave you alone if you give it back to them.
- Mar 26, '09 by javajaydonI have worked with some nurses who did everything in their power to run anyone out of the Nursing Home that were not part of their clique. They had the Administrator in their back pocket, or should I say they were so far up the Administrator's behind, all you could see was their feet kicking. LOL. Seriously, they ran some very good workers out of the facility running. This wasn't just other nurses. It was buisness office/HR staff, dietary staff, activity staff, laundry/housekeeping staff, maintenance staff, and even the DON. These people have/had no heart, compassion, or even an understanding of what their behavior does to people. Driving several of them to the brink of suicide, to the point that they had to find other employment, or even to the point that they couldn't even work in health care anymore. I am just wish that I could have/would have seen what was going on, and done something about it. The resident's are who really paid the price for these bullies nastiness!