The "bully" nurse - Page 8Register Today!
- Mar 27, '08 by GadgetRN71Quote from controlTo me, making generalizations about other groups of nurses can perpetuate the negative behavior that feeds bullying. Trust me, in my area we have plenty of our own issues to deal with. I can assure you that we don't even think about the other floors.ITA. Well said.
eta: Nurses tend to be very competitive with one another, I observed. The ones that are trying to marry a doctor fight over the residents and other medical staff (single or otherwise). The ones that are in ICU think they're better than tele, the ones in tele think they're better than med surg, and OR, ER, etc think they're above them all. When there is a new nurse (more competition) some of the really insecure, territorial ones pounce. Of course, this is not the case everywhere, but I've seen this type of behavior very often and bullying often results from it.
I do agree with some of your post though, namely, the part about the "territorial" nurses that pounce on the newbie. This can be even worse if you are young, female and even mildly attractive.
- Mar 27, '08 by vashteeI overheard someone on Good Morning America this a.m. saying that her poll finds nurses to be the meanest of all professionals. This wasn't coming from the patients, but rather coworkers.
- Mar 28, '08 by bob01The Bully want's to give you the impression that they are all powerful, that they just want to break you, that you will be weak if you break and strike back at them, the funny thing is that they do not cope when people do break if it is directed at them, I remember my theatre training where I was in this exact situation, I waited for the prestigious professorial day and when this theatre sister started raising her voice at me, giving commands as one would give a dog in training, making negative insinuations about my person, at which on this day she was not as bad as usual, I replied politely "you needn't speak to me like that, I am a human being you know," she did not reply and treated me with newfound respect after.
Handovers are also a great time for bullies, they can openly assert their distorted opinions and work practices in an open forum, people just let them go as they want to get on with the buisiness of patient care, you can often hide being critical and rude behind "Clinical experience" and concern for patient care.
- Mar 29, '08 by nserviceI've only had one person attempt to bully me. I was a traveler at the time and had been at this facility for a few months. This nurse was in charge and always gave me the sickest patients...usualy DNR's circling the drain. I was on a first name basis with the coronor and the organ donation lady. I had much more experience than her and I think she was intimidated by that. Anyway, she liked to try and ridicule me and pretend she was joking. Once in a patient's room she tried it and I interrupted and said, "Hey can you do me a favor and leave your attitude at home?" She was in shock and never pulled that kind of thing on me again. In fact, I think she was a little scared of me after that.
- Feb 18, '09 by PeaceonearthRNBullies do come in all shapes , sizes and occupations. It does not have to be the nurse(s) that are bullies; rather i can be a 'clerk' who often challenges what you are asking with their own twist of 'what they heard'. It is sad that life brings so many challenging behaviors to such a very important and necessary profession. I have seen people get great pride in chiding someone for asking a legitimate question; they then spend the next ten minutes discussing them and their 'stupidity' in thinking how important it might be to be 'notified' about one thing or another that may take priority over patient care. I often feel sorry for these individuals who inherently have no life as they must spend their 'free' time putting others down. Just makes ya so glad your a nurse sometimes!
- Mar 19, '09 by moosha1What an eye opener! Tonight I was sleepless and depressed because I felt I was all alone in my misery with bully nurses, loud-mouthed social workers, smug unit clerks, stone-faced management and high-strung managers. I see, quite clearly, the caring, hard working and intelligent, but we are too busy running from patient to patient to connect! Thank you all for your stories and advice-I feel surrounded by professional peers who have time for commiseration!
- Mar 19, '09 by LilyBlueI think most bullies are driven by a deep sense of personal inadequacy - it's a coping mechansim that isn't effective. They want to have some control of their world, so they try to shape others by insults, hostility, superiority. It's a human condition as old as the human race (at least in my personal convictions).
- Mar 19, '09 by zuziBullies are the most unbalanced persons that you ever meet. Beetwen what they are and what they wish to be, beetween expectancies and reality, beetween identity have it and identity assumed a bully dosen't have control on his/her own self, because he/she can't balance self insiede with self outside sooooo he/her bully others.
TEASING is a incipient form of bullying, so be carefull when you use teasing, teasing can hurt, bad, and you could loose a friend instead to gain one.
Teasing is a form of take control on other, to show him/her, to others and special to your self (now you see the unbalance), how good you are comparimg with him/her, to take control on the situation, to be on top.
A regluar teasing, could affect bad your own personality and the relations with others.
Bullies are not borned, they are developed beetwen us, because we let them to do it!
I just love this subject and a lot of nurses need help! Bulling in nursing field is a phenomenon!
- Mar 19, '09 by moosha1I am amazed at how this topic is relevant to all! While I agree that expectations vs reality is a driving force of the bully, my experience is that the bully nurse is protected by management and those who cannot tolerate her behavior are floated or so misused that they eventually quit. Foolishly, I thought I was made of sterner stuff and could handle the bully by just being "me". After a night of reading other's stories, I am aware that I must control my reaction to her action, protect myself and not feel the burn of the petty crew that surrounds and engages her. The words of a prior post are so true that they jumped out at me: The bully surrounds herself with others of her mindset to infuse herself with power and to compensate for her many shortcomings as a nurse. Thank you, all.
- Mar 19, '09 by DNPstudentQuote from Marie_LPN, RNMaybe it does LOL but it's sometimes true!!That only adds fuel to the fire (not to mention that phrase is a negative generalization ).
I am not "young", but I am a newer nurse...my experience as a surg tech helped me not get eaten alive, bc OR nurses traditionally have "strong personalities". Which is a very necessary trait!! You have to be somewhat insistant regarding pt safety. Anyway, I still get bullied, but not nearly as bad as what I've seen others have to put up with! The key to dealing with these types of personalities, is to keep a cool head, and remain extremely professional. I've seen peoples tempera get the best of them and they end up fired...
Ok, so I see not just a more experienced nurse, but a kiniving nurse, who always manipulates situations to be in their favor...disagreeing could make your life miserable...someone who turns one little mess up you make into a huge deal, someone who never admits their own mistakes. Usually they are insecure or need a new job cuz their miserable...