The "bully" nurse - Page 14Register Today!
- Nov 9, '10 by wondernSounds like you could work where I used to work for close to 20 years! :heartbeat
Tell it like it is, sister !
Last night on Family Guy, the dad, Peter, was reliving and acting out his bullying trauma as a kid. I found it ironic and so right on target because his bully was doing one of the same things my workplace bully did~run around pulling people's pants down in public. How very hilarious!
Sorry, Angelique777, that you're forced to tolerate this behavior in your supposed professional workplace on a daily basis. It gets really old after a while, and were just so easily replaced, it seems, if we do speak up against the pet head hauncho bully.
If management won't do anything I think a union would try to help. I'm in the south in a will to work state, I don't know. Maybe, at least get some workplace bully protection laws in place. Can you transfer elsewhere in the medical center?
- Nov 10, '10 by angelique777Thanks WonderRN
In response to my previous post.
However, I dont allow myself to be bullied and always let the bullyies know that there behaving like bullies so they don't try it again with me cause I speak the truth directly to the bully.
I like working on my unit and in relatively short time understand the people on my unit and adapt appropriately to there personalities
I think bullying is a specific behavior. Some people particular younger nurses think that senior nurses are bullies. A senior nurse teaching a younger nurse how to avoid a medication error, or why missing an assessment is important is not bullying and too many younger nurses make this mistake. I haven't always like the tone of senior nurses or seriousness but have always instead respected the content of what they told me because it has greatly helped me help my patients and I don't feel these nurses fall into category of bullies. A senior nurse will teach sometimes firmly but often will help a nurse save a life. I am one of those younger nurses who appreciate the experience a senior nurse shares and wanted to post the difference between a bully and a senior who tries to teach a younger nurse how to save a life or least keep patient from harm.
In generally its mentally exhausting dealing with a bully but I make the effort since it really annoys me and won't allow myself to be subjected to the behavior.
However it not like when we where in school because then it was easier to deal with bullyies .........so in school someone who always try to skip ahead on line or try to take your books etc...........kicking there butts after school solved the problem ....however, at work it takes some level confrontation with out reaching full out fight which is quite a challenge but I managed to get by and hold my own.......I don't get involved with gossip I tell the person directly about any rotten behavior. Again this is my jest of work place bully ....most definitely escalating to senior staff is important at times as well......However, A lot of time such behavior exsist because senior staff does not confront it.
- Nov 10, '10 by wondernGosh, that's what I thought, too, for a long time. I always trusted the system until I got screwed by it. Just keep standing up for yourself. Speak up softly but firmly. Pray. I told myself. However it's not always that cut and dry, unfortunately and until you've walked in that person's shoes its really hard to fully appreciate the position they were in or the trauma they went through or may be going through.
Sometimes even when you do confront the bully nothing happens except you get written up for 'confronting' the manager's bully buddy. At least that's how it can happen if you have unethical managers who evidently enjoy high school type games.
It is stereotypical that older nurses bully younger nurses and vice versa. There's just different personalities in all age nurses, much like the population in general. Bullies come in all ages, shapes, sizes, and positions of authority. They can and do enable each other at times.
There is certainly no glory in being bullied. It's embarassing. That's why it goes unreported so often. :redpinkhe
Also, I respect Eleanor Roosevelt, and I like her quote but, of course, it just doesn't always ring true, and on a thread entitled the 'bully' nurse, it just doesn't feel real supportive. It could potentially feel like blaming the victim, and there is always a victim in bullying. Bullying is a proven phenomena. It's not like the bullies' target wants to be a victim and haven't fought it. Then again maybe Eleanor's exactly right as you could actually move somewhere else, transfer, etc., I guess if stopping the behavior proved to be futile.
Oh yes, your welcome, angelique777, just trying to reach out as it sounded like maybe all that was happening pretty close to home.:heartbeatLast edit by wondern on Nov 10, '10
- Nov 16, '10 by nicenurselpnthe place i work at currently has nurse bully who has surrounded herself with "minions". the nurse is very volatile and very very confrontational. she has a history of threatening other nurses and has actually shoved another employee. both times she got away with it, even though it was reported to hr (what a joke there). she has badmouthed me and my nursing skills. i am in the process of keeping documentation of incidents to present to my boss. morale is at an all time low due to this certain person. i avoid her like the plague. she has "targeted" other nurses as well. hmmm, lets put it this way: when she was first hired, work made her go to eap b/c she would yell and scream at people instead of talking to them. maybe they should have just fired her there and then and none of this crap would be happening now. amazing how mgt turns a blind eye to her and how she treats people..............
- Sep 20, '11 by jriversSomeone who is venally abusive, critical, nasty and puts their ego above patient care. Someone who is so insecure they feel the need to put ores down around them so they might feel better. Sometimes it is cultural. I have experienced many foreign nurses that are very aggressive...perhaps it comes from the culture of e schools they went to.
- Oct 10, '11 by dsoginerI need everyone's wisdom. I took a job at a behavioral unit 2 yrs ago. First we have an absent NM. He tells us to "fight it out" if we have a problem with a staff member. He hires his friends and one of the big, burly male nurses is his best friend. This nurse and his "now nurse for 2 wks but a tech before" girlfriend run the unit at night. They bully, yell and tell nurses what to do. I got into it with his girlfriend when she was a tech for telling me how to nurse. That did it, the big male nurse decided I was the enemy and has spent the last year making my job hell. I finally reported it to HR but all of the nurses and techs are afraid of him so no one backed me up, or maybe they did and the NM won't admit it. The girlfriend told several people, several times that she would have me fired when she became a nurse. Want you to understand I am one hell of a good nurse, however for the last two weeks she has been submitting to the NM any paperwork she thinks I have made mistakes on. One was justifiable. I have to argue with the NM over each accusation and the stress is overpowering. I am going to have to quit a job that I am so good at and love because of this. Any suggestions?
- Oct 29, '11 by mmm333I am a male nurse starting a new job, with orientation. Management has pulled me aside a few times and sort of laughed about the "tattle-tales" who are already undercutting me on day 3 when I'm not even working yet, and let me know that these things have a tendency to backfire on the people undermining their coworkers, and that they judge nurses partially on their ability to lead, teach, and mentor other nurses- not their ability to report minor discrepancies to the boss. They told me to keep my mouth shut and my ears and eyes open for the first 6 months. That was a real relief to hear, and it sounds like great advice to me.
- Oct 29, '11 by mmm333... If I am every a manager, and I get photocopies of mistakes from nurses, I'm going to ask them why didn't they teach that nurse how to do it right, and why are they wasting my time with that task? I will tell them that I expect more from them in these situations. And I might even tell them not to waste company paper for personal use. ;]
- Oct 29, '11 by TheGuestNursemention the words "hostile work environment" to your boss. They'll fix it or know they have the potential to be sued.
Document. Document. Document.
Every occurrence of the bullying and mobbing that is taking place needs to written down and logged. You need to be able to clearly show when this has occurred.
Take a stand. Don't be a member of the herd.
Stand up for yourself and your patients.
- Nov 6, '11 by libbyliberalThese types always fall on their own sword. Bide your time and they will be exposed.
I believe that half of the people in nursing have a mental disorder &/or personality disorder. I am not going to beat my head against the wall trying to change that.
I don't care if they make asses of them selves. I don't really need to react or interact with people who are looney tunes. Most of the time it is just more efficient to do it all myself. I draw the line at any behavior or pettiness that interferes with patient care.
In the South when we're ****** we say that's nice and bless her heart. translated that means f^&* you and that b^&*%.