So done with a co-worker

  1. I have looked back at previous posts regarding nasty co-workers, and I know a lot of people deal with this...maybe I just need to vent!!

    We have a very good vibe on our floor. Everyone works together (if someone's caught up it's always "hey, what do you need me to do to help you"...things like that. Great team of people) except for one RN. I'll call her Jane.

    Jane is the most condescending, full of bad attitude person. She is horrible to the aides, barks orders at them all the time. Then gripes because no one wants to help her...the aides move too slow...blah, blah. No one want to take or give report to her. All she does is point out the things that DIDN'T get done and just has just such a nasty attitude that it's bringing down the entire unit. Everyone just dreads when she works.

    I am a very positive person. I like to keep things light. I'm not so much the oh-my-gosh-it's-too-early-and-you're-bubbly-and-I-now-want-to-stab-you-in-the-eye kind of positive, I just think life's too short to be a ****** and I don't sweat the small stuff. Jane equates being nice with being a butt-kisser. On and on the other day that I'm an "a$$-kisser" until finally I said "no, it's called being nice. Being nice and kissing butt are two different things...maybe you should try the being nice thing some time." (Juvenile? Probably. But after listening to her go on for a good ten minutes I'd had it.)

    Management finally spoke to Jane after she yelled at an aide and said he shouldn't question her because he's "just an aide". Uh, nope. Our aides work their butts off and they aren't "just" anything. She talks down to lab, diagnostics, aides, you name it. The talk management had with her improved the situation for a hot second (maybe two weeks) and now back to the old beast.

    I have tried to nip it in the bud as things come up, but honestly I'm tired of it (and I'm far from the only one) It's really gotten to the point where my stomach drops when I see her there. She pecks and pecks until that last nerve she's worked is shot.

    Any suggestions? Management is already aware of this and has only intervened the one time even though it continues to be an issue. She obviously doesn't respond confronting her one-on-one either.

    Thanks if you read the mini-novel!
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  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   caliotter3
    Almost every unit or facility has its Jane or even two of them. Most of the time, though, management refuses to deal with them.
  4. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    People like Jane make me wish I could accidentally fall on them landing with my elbow in the throat. On accident of course. :|
  5. by   AJJKRN
    Some people just need their ego stroked. I would just flat out tell her to not bat an eye my way until she can be civil, respectful, and a team player. And then ignore her...the situation may not improve until patients or family members complain. I'm assuming that she is totally different with her patients.
  6. by   smf0903
    Thanks for the replies. I think I mostly just needed to vent somewhere about this! I don't understand why some people are just so darn miserable.

    Me? I'm gonna keep on keepin' on I keep reminding myself that at least I don't have to live with this person LOL
  7. by   CrunchRN
    Well, Jane sucks. Hopefully she will go away at some point.
  8. by   calivianya
    There's always at least one. We have several of those right now. I just keep on smiling, saying hello when I run into them... and then I get the heck away from them and stay on my side of the hall to minimize having to interact with them!
  9. by   Dafabb
    Well I could tell you to have a person on your team that is like me. Sometimes management does not want to deal with it. That sad and it is left up to the other Nurses to do it. But where do you find that Nurse. Most Nurses want to mind their own business and do there own work and not deal with someone like this. Me I am different. I am like the Champion of the underdog. If you need to be the ones to do the "intervention" then get with a few of your very strong personality Nurses and do it. This is not strutting your stuff. This is giving her some home truths. I have never "ratted" on a Nurse and would never do so if you can stop the buck on the floor do it.. Maybe this woman is having a really hard time at home or something is eating away at her. Have a meeting with her in absolute privacy. Tell her what you see her doing and give her the just of her attitude. Tell her how rude she speaks to all of you and other depts. Tell her no one wants to work with her. Tell her no one likes her. Don't gang up on her. Tell her all the truths...No one is listening but you selective few. Tell her if things don't change all of you will go to the admin and she will probably not have her job much longer. If you have someone who can do this 1:1 all the much better. Less is best in this case and it will stay between the 2 of you. Make that so. I know I can do that where no one knows what we talked about. Something like that will make her think and just maybe you might see a difference. I have done this twice in 40 yrs and I will say it worked..We at least became "co worker". I am surprised the admin has let this go on this long because I do know how Nurses complain. Think about something like this and if none of you can do it then you will either have to live with it or get her fired.
  10. by   Kooky Korky
    Quote from CrunchRN
    Well, Jane sucks. Hopefully she will go away at some point.
    This type never goes away.
  11. by   Wuzzie
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    This type never goes away.
    And if they do there is always another to take their place.
  12. by   Kooky Korky
    Quote from smf0903
    Thanks for the replies. I think I mostly just needed to vent somewhere about this! I don't understand why some people are just so darn miserable.

    Me? I'm gonna keep on keepin' on I keep reminding myself that at least I don't have to live with this person LOL
    She's miserable because of some terrible hurt or disappointment in her life. Or maybe she just is modeling what she's learned is the way to be. Or who knows and, honestly, who cares? She doesn't get to doo doo on the world just because she's suffered. We've alll suffered, granted, some more than others. Still, she makes people miserable and that is not acceptable.

    So try to confront her and let her know nicely but firmly, clearly how she affects you (YOU, not the whole team, let them speak for themselves if they have the courage, which they probably don't) and that you don't want to deal with it any more. Or just try to sort of befriend her first.

    Good luck.
  13. by   FolksBtrippin
    Do you know Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh?

    Just think of Jane as your floor's Eeyore. Just let her be miserable. Some people are just that way. Don't let her mistreat you, but let her be miserable and don't let her misery stop you from being Tigger. Tiggers are wonderful things.

    If she is all... "No one helps me." Then you say, "I'll help you Jane." Because that's what you do. Your floor is like that and you help each other.

    I do not recommend telling her no one likes her and that she has a bad attitude. You won't feel better if you do that because you are a positive person and that is not true to a positive person. Positive people see the best in everyone.

    So just keep being you, be nice and helpful to her, and that awful feeling in your stomach will go away. You get the awful feeling because you don't want to be nice and helpful around her and that's not you. So just be nice and helpful, and don't expect her to like it. Then you will feel better.

    On another note, I think what you said to her about the difference between being nice and being an ass-kisser was totally appropriate and not juvenile. Keep doing that, unless it makes you feel really bad. The point is not to change this person, that's impossible. The point is to feel better around her.

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So done with a co-worker