Patients who can do ADLs but want nurses to

Nurses Relations

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I've been coming across more and more patients that are perfectly capable of taking care of their personal needs, but simply don't want to.

Example: ringing the call light to ask for the box of tissues that is a whopping 4 feet away and they have no physical reason to inhibit their ability to reach or get up and get them.

Or the female pt that wants us to clean her after voiding yet she walked into the bathroom herself and did her makeup/ curled her hair that morning...

How do you get the message across that we are not the maids/ wait staff/ personal assistant without making pt feel bad or making them angry? It's so frustrating.

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

I'm with the rest of you....people just amaze me with what they refuse to do for themselves! My two teenagers already know my criteria for when to "let me go" someday...when there is no reasonable hope that I will ever be able to feed myself & wipe my own butt routinely again. I also got into it with a nurse in the hospital once who told me I had bedrest orders and HAD to use the bedpan - first time I ever pulled the nurse card and told her in no uncertain terms "I'm a nurse too and I know I have the right to refuse & I will be taking the 4-5 steps to reach the toilet. I'll give you a bit to get the order changed if it makes you feel better but otherwise I'm just gonna get up and go". (Great nurse - she got the order changed STAT and I promised to be good the rest of my stay).

Ugh! A big pet peeve of mine. I work in the ER and everyone thinks they are dying!! I had a pt the other day that unfortunately an admit hold because we had no beds. I had to put the pills in his mouth and he didn't even put the straw in his mouth, I had to do that too. MADE ME CRAZY. there was NO reason he couldn't do it. But he could function when his meal tray arrived. Ughhhhhhh.

Why haven't you eaten any dinner, Ms. in her 50's Adult?

I can't

You can't?

No, I have trouble using a fork

You have trouble? What do you normally use?

I have NEUROPATHY (no note of such) I need you to put it on the fork for me...

Later I bring piece of chocolate cake with fork into patient and turn and leave the room to peek from outside the door.

Patient picks up fork and quickly eats cake - every crumb

ugh. then there are the ones that need help but refuse and in the end create more work for everyone ( me especially!!). there are plenty of weirdos out there. i am afraid to say something and the pt actually does need help or gets really confrontational ( which i woukd hate at work!) so, i rarely say anything .

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I tell them the goal is to maximize their function so we will know if they cn take care of themselves at home or need to go to a nursing home. That Term gets their attention. Only with those I know who are capable and playing helpless.

Specializes in retired LTC.

To edimo - I apologize for the LOL. I'm a great one to bemoan the use of unfamiliar abbreviations; I freq have to ask about some just like you did. (I really questioned something earlier today on another post re a nsg job position.) I AM NOT computer-speak saavy. I only learned LOL recently just be being here on AN - I figured it was a safe one. I've should've known better ...

Likewise, each nsg specialty seems to have its own language. It took me forever to figure out NSTEMI (smile, all you cardiac nurses). So LOL seemed to fit very nicely into LTC. Hey - I work LTC but I had NO idea what NOC was (11-7 shift) until I saw it here!!!

To edimo - I apologize for the LOL. I'm a great one to bemoan the use of unfamiliar abbreviations; I freq have to ask about some just like you did. (I really questioned something earlier today on another post re a nsg job position.) I AM NOT computer-speak saavy. I only learned LOL recently just be being here on AN - I figured it was a safe one. I've should've known better ...

Oh, no worries! I haven't been here long and am just starting to become familiar with some of the more frequently used abbreviations...hey, you learn something new everyday!

"Oh, it's okay Ms. Smith, your doc doesn't have any restriction on you...pulling up your own blanket, pouring your own water, wiping your own butt....so you just go ahead and do that if you need to. I would feel bad if you were waiting on me to make sure it's okay."

Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

I always pulled the card that once they got back home, they would have to do it on their own again.

Plus I hate taking care of people that wont take care of themselves. Not the people that cant but the people that have the means and ability to but dont.

Specializes in General Surgery.

These are some great suggestions! Of course I have my pokerface on but this infuriates me to no end! I always get the men who are perfectly capable of holding the urinal to their member but want me to do it for SOME reason or the women who just roll over and want me to wipe them. And again, these are patients who are otherwise ad lib.

Like someone mentioned earlier, I think there are some strange infantile/regression issues going on there. I would be mortified to have someone doing my peri-care, if I can do it, I would MUCH prefer to do it myself, thank you very much!

I always ask, "So how do you do this at home?" Or "How are you going to take care of yourself when you get home? Is someone going to be doing this for you?" Usually, that kind of straightens them out but not always. I'm definitely using some of the earlier suggestions next time this comes up!

Specializes in Medical Surgical.

Oh the memories this post brings back for me! lol

I can remember having some real head butting arguments with some pts over who was going to wipe.

"If you can reach down to scratch it, you can wipe it", Is my motto! Weather the pt likes it or NOT!

I can be too blunt sometimes but I have said to a pt with a sore eye 'what did your last slave die of?? Overworked and underpaid!!?? Let me make it perfectly clear, this is a hospital not the Hilton, if you can't wipe your orifice because of a sore eye next time wear eye protection!'

Mind you this pt is a regular ambulance surfer and they refuse to do anything for themselves!!! Hello, 12hrs after major brain surgery and I was performing my own ADLs

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