Only nurses would have lunch conversations like this...

  1. 2
    Ok, just having fun here and not being insensitive and all that. Ain't it a shame I feel the need to put out a silly disclaimer?
    Anyway, lunchroom today on a med surge floor, folks just started swapping stories. It struck me that only nurses could possibly be talking about this stuff without retching. My favorite today was, "Did you hear about 'guitar man'? I bit, "Nope I haven't." It seems guitar man was a med-surge patient who was found with blood coming from his penis. Upon investigation he was found to have pieces of wire (guitar strings) inserted in his penis (though the urethra). Mind you, this is not a psych floor (or at least we thought). When the Doc was notified, he marched down to the room with a suture kit. The patient of course denied any knowledge of said wire while the Doc fished some of it out with the tiny tweezers. Follow-up xray showed a surgical intervention was needed to retrieve errant Prince Alberts. Go figure. You have any lunch room gross outs to share?
    netglow and Hygiene Queen like this.
  2. 18 Comments so far...

  3. 2
    Name:  35t2rp.jpg
Views: 334
Size:  45.8 KB
  4. 2
    Urinary sepsis smells like bacon and looks like cottage cheese leaking down the foley.
    netglow and Hygiene Queen like this.
  5. 6
    Quote from NurseOnAMotorcycle
    Urinary sepsis smells like bacon and looks like cottage cheese leaking down the foley.
    Oddly enough I had bacon and cottage cheese for breakfast.

    Or when someone comments that their pasta sauce looks like the GI bleed that just got admitted. We are weird.
  6. 11
    Quote from Stcroix
    Ok, just having fun here and not being insensitive and all that. Ain't it a shame I feel the need to put out a silly disclaimer?
    Anyway, lunchroom today on a med surge floor, folks just started swapping stories. It struck me that only nurses could possibly be talking about this stuff without retching. My favorite today was, "Did you hear about 'guitar man'? I bit, "Nope I haven't." It seems guitar man was a med-surge patient who was found with blood coming from his penis. Upon investigation he was found to have pieces of wire (guitar strings) inserted in his penis (though the urethra). Mind you, this is not a psych floor (or at least we thought). When the Doc was notified, he marched down to the room with a suture kit. The patient of course denied any knowledge of said wire while the Doc fished some of it out with the tiny tweezers. Follow-up xray showed a surgical intervention was needed to retrieve errant Prince Alberts. Go figure. You have any lunch room gross outs to share?
    I guess he had the music in him!
    DawnJ, ZenLover, MedicDB, and 8 others like this.
  7. 3
    I work PICU, my daughter is a wound/ ostomy RN and my sister works in LTAC. When the three of us are together, no one in the family will eat at the same table with us!
    joanna73, yginay, and GrnTea like this.
  8. 6
    One of our male LPNs has this running joke that anytime a woman comes in with gross vaginal issues, he always seems to get them, like some weird, gross vagina magnet. Anyways, we were sitting around eating one day when he was describing a patient with some vaginal issues, and he blurts out "it looked like a shar-pei puppy swimming in a vat of mayonnaise!" I still crack up when I think about the way he said it, haha. And we just kept on eating!
    Christy1019, Stcroix, netglow, and 3 others like this.
  9. 6
    I will say, I don't particularly enjoy my dinner when it's brunswick stew interrupted by poop cleanup on a liver patient, who ate meat and tomatoes and apparently digested none of it due to the lactulose. I also discovered that if I tell said patient "wow you didn't chew your tomatoes" they will present me with some puke that is exactly the same as the poop. It is also considered in bad taste to follow that with singing the doublemint commercial song.
    AmberKC, sandyfeet, Stcroix, and 3 others like this.
  10. 2
    Quote from jchilds
    I guess he had the music in him!
    Good lordy where's the guitar pick?
    RNperdiem and Hygiene Queen like this.
  11. 1
    Good natured ribbing about if the drainage from the I&D was REALLY a quarter cup, that it was not a gush per se but a large trickle ...and how wonderfully satisfying a good squeeze can be......It is like fish tales for the slightly off center. Word of caution, do not discuss in mixed company, or one will wonder what it is that you are doing on your nights off....
    monkeybug likes this.


Top