"Nurses are so Mean" - page 22

by Ruby Vee | 63,045 Views | 219 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More


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    Bullying DOES happen. And it often happens to any nurse who seems to veer from the norm. She may do her job well. But she may stand too straight, have too many curves, be too smart, too competant, too well spoken, too well educated....she may be too cheerful...and the list goes on and on. Just continue to stand up for any nurse who is being gossiped about and sooner or later this bullying will become unnacceptable. Bullying, gossiping....all forms of verbal slander; this can affect the vitality of one's carreer, psychology, family life and even faith in humanity.
    As for it being "your" problem if you are the continual target.....Of course you will audit your performance. But if after you have audited and improved in every way...and you are still being gossiped about; just know that the others ARE probably jealous of you because they are miserable and probably threatened by you for whatever reason you stand out for.
    It seems to be "normal" for many nurses to be overweight, in ill health, and plagued with martyrdome (sp?). Why would anyone want to "fit in" with THAT kind of crowd? I prefer to be my own healthy self...in good shape, standing tall, doing a good job no matter how threatening that is too many ugly personalitied nurses who gosssip and bully.
    trai1971 and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
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    After reading more comments about this topic...I have to say....some nurses DO have a hard time because they are good looking. I've seen it and heard it. They don't go around talking about how good looking they are. It is just there for all to see. And people will always make work difficult for some of them. I know of some very beautiful nurses (on the outside and inside). The beautiful ones who have the beauty on the inside too are the ones who get clobbered the most. It is funny, that male nurses have nothing bad to say about them. It is the jealous women nurses who do. So please ....stop attacking everyone. It is getting in the way of the real work we have to do.
    anotherone likes this.
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    I must be blessed because almost every person (except for one nurse) I work with has been nothing but helpful. They were always asking to see if I was okay, especially the first couple of months after I got off orientation. Now they don't care about me because they know if I have an a problem, I will grab them as my reinforcements. And to quote one co-workers, apparently it's me being mean to them (playful banter of course, never truly malicious). I have to say I am truly, truly thankful for the wonderful team of nurses, techs, and unit secretaries I work with. Sure we all have our bad days, but we try not to take it out on one another. Unlike other horror stories I read here on allnurses.com, we definitely exude the definition of teamwork.
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    so do you experienced nurses have advice for newbies and students who are still trying to learn? how do you recommend we enter the environment? what should we be aware of, what questions should we ask? what are the biggest mistakes we're making?
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    I graduated June 2011 from my school of nursing, and I immediately was offered a job in occupational health, in an office setting. At first, before I took my boards, I had to work as a tech, but then after I passed, I was the office's only nurse. I admit, it was tough at first. My co-workers, being all females, didn't work very well together. Coming from a large hospital in my city, I was used to that, but at least at the hospital, I'd already had friends, or at least common ground with people.

    I have learned a few lessons since then: things are better if you realize you aren't just at work solely to make friends; it is ALWAYS best to avoid being in the middle of personal spats between coworkers; never talk about anyone behind their back, no matter what; keep facebook out of the office; if you have a problem with something a person is doing, there are better ways of handling it than doing any of these things: tattling, lying, or blowing up.
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    People have bad days. That doesn't make it okay to take out that bad day on someone else, no matter how much more experience or seniority you have.

    People who are insensitive to other people's feelings tend to be extremely sensitive about their own feelings.
    trai1971 likes this.
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    Quote from annmarie899
    annmarie, age 58, NP for 15 years, nurse for over 25 years,

    I agree with many of the opinions, but there does seem to be a little defensiveness in some of the comments.

    Here is my take on this, as a 'seasoned nurse of age 58'. I was once a young and attractive nurse, and naive. I had a preceptor who was almost ready to retire, walked with a limp, I'm sure was in constant pain, and mercilessly tortured me. Why? I don't know. I almost quit nursing because of her. She picked on me, was rude to me, singled me out. It was the associate director of the program ( who I went to in tears when this 'sourpuss' dismissed me from clinical one day for being unprepared - notwithstanding the fact I had just had a death in the family and still showed up) that talked me into staying.

    Through the years there have always been 'the young and entitled' - and this pertains to med students as well, whom I have had the privilege of herding during clinic. The young and entitled cannot do more than one thing at a time, get upset when you ask them to do a second thing - because it's just too much, or they were'nt expecting it ' like 'see another patient? but I haven't presented this first patient yet?' - but more like this will cut into their gossip session or internet surfing time.

    But let's not overlook the fact that there is still serious incivility present in our academic institutions and workplace. Not only incivility - there is violence as well. Recently in the news there was a shooting in a hospital in CT where an elderly patient pulled out a gun and attempted to shoot a nurse - a male nurse, a former military man, jumped to the rescue, and was shot in the leg and disarmed the patient.

    There is real violence and real incivility in our society. Bad things happen to all of us. But as professionals, we should leave it at home, and put on our professional demeanor, and NOT take it out on our patients, our co-workers, or family members.

    If things are that bad, please go to EAP and sort things out. It's not ok to dump on other people. Yes, it happens, but as the saying goes, it all just trickles down. . . and creates a really bad workplace mileau.

    Let's not make excuses for being 'martyrs' or being the perpetrators of incivility. I think nurses, as professionals, are much better than that.

    Stiff upper lip, smile, then go to the gym. Join a kick boxing club, and kick the crap out of a bag. Not your patients, your co-workers, or your loved ones. It just won't do. And don't forget that humor is the stress reliever of all.

    annmarie
    Amen!! :-)
    Not_A_Hat_Person likes this.
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    I am a "seasoned" nurse who has been nursing now for 20 years, and I've only had 2 jobs in my nursing career, and I am here to tell you there ARE alot of mean nurses( in the coworker sense) out there, but also some great ones. I currently work with a fellow nurse (even more seasoned than I am) who makes my life torture with her rudeness and bullying, to the point that I've actually asked her to stop, then later address it with administration who basically told me to handle it myself but let her know if it continued even though I had already talked to this person, so I'm still in the same boat. This person talks about me to my coworkers, counts my meds., it's virtually harrassment. Other people complain about this nurse's behavior behind her back, but don't stand up to her because they're afraid she'll start trouble for them as well. Of course some days are better than others, but my point is, it's not the even just the new nurse who is getting bullied, but seasoned nurses do as well. I think there needs to be a "no tolerance" policy for bullying and maybe even more focus on this in nursing school...perhaps even a course focusing on this issue, then maybe it will begin to change. I also feel that employers need to actually care about this issue as well. It's sad that people who are in the art of caring would treat eachother this way. So, I'm not trying to be a "whiner", just telling you my experience.
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    What is wrong with management that they can not control this sort of thing? It is infuriating. I keep to myself now totally. I help my co-workers but you will never hear me chatting or ever speaking about anything besides the patients and their needs and our work. Of course...THIS behavior has started a whole new round of gossip about me. "why isn't she social, why doesn't she chat with us, she only talks to the docs.... etc"...(yes, because the physicians don't play this stupid game).
    I look forward to moving away from the med-surg environment into ICU world. I hear there is much less of this there. It is too bad, because I really like med-surg. There are not a lot of RNs who like med-surg; I could have been a great asset if my nasty co-workers could have overlooked my good looking a$$. The med-surg world has just lost a great nurse because of their MEAN culture. Hello...ICU!!!!
    trai1971 likes this.
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    im 28 and a very experienced nurse with a masters degree. Some really SNOTTY stuck up nurses can be just catty and uncalled for.
    Last edit by TheCommuter on Jun 1, '13 : Reason: terms of service


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