"Nurses are so Mean" - page 19

by Ruby Vee

61,249 Views | 219 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More


  1. 0
    Quote from rnccf2007
    Furthermore, who or what are you? No specialty, no years of experience. If you are not a nurse, why are you here?
    My apologies, just read your profile, welcome to the real world of hospital nursing, where there is often a "get them in, get them out, transfer" etc between departments with no real regard to quality patient care. All departments suffer r/t administration and the almighty buck.
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    Quote from rnccf2007
    Furthermore, who or what are you? No specialty, no years of experience. If you are not a nurse, why are you here?
    Some people choose to not display all their history in their profile, preferring to maintain their privacy. Displaying such information is not a requirement of membership. Your post was a tad nasty directed to a first time poster, who just joined today and may not have had an opportunity (or found where) to enter all the 'details'.
  3. 1
    Quote from ChuYin
    You would think that with cross department and floor interaction, there would be no arguing! The hospital is a single unit, not a conglomerate of separate pieces.
    That's like saying that siblings should all get along because they're members of the same family. Nice in theory, but not always the case in real life.

    With departments scrambling for ever-smaller pieces of a shrinking pie, competition can be fierce. In good work environments, individuals can set the politics aside and work together toward the common goal of providing good patient care. In not-so-hot places, it's everyone for himself and patient care does tend to suffer. The employees feel it, too, but that doesn't seem to stop the madness.

    Good luck with pursuing your education. I'll bet your RN mom is proud that you want to follow in her footsteps.
    prmenrs likes this.
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    We do have high school students post @ allnurses, often in the wrong thread/forum, asking questions about a future career choice. Let's give them the best advice we can, courteously, so that all us oldies can retire some day. just sayin'
    rn/writer likes this.
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    When I grew up and learned more, my co-workers became muchy nicer people. While I know that lateral violence does exist, I don't think it exists to the point that some people seem to think it does. Or to the degree that a regular reader of allnurses.com could believe it does. Every time you have a negative interaction with a co-worker, it's not necessarily lateral violence. It could very well be that someone is having a very, very bad day. Or week. Or it could be that rather than your co-workers being jealous of your extreme good looks, you're regularly doing something really stupid or thoughtless that irritates or annoys them. Quite possibly, the problem is you. Maybe you're not studying enough, learning enough, understanding enough or doing enough. Certainly if you're always having the same problems over and over again, everywhere you go, the problem IS you.

    That is the problem right there, 'when you grew up and learned more'??? If you are a constant complainer or whiner than i understand. But as a fresh new nurse who may ask a question once you should not encounter an attitude. Leave your dead dog or crappy husband at home. There is NO place for that in the work place. That is NOT what we are there for. Of course there are those that have problems themselves but yes there are nurses who as you put it 'eat their young' i have seen it. As far as the good looks thing, just ignore it. And yes most of us study and learn on our own, that is what nursing is, a never ending learning process.
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    Quote from brandy03
    When I grew up and learned more, my co-workers became muchy nicer people. While I know that lateral violence does exist, I don't think it exists to the point that some people seem to think it does. Or to the degree that a regular reader of allnurses.com could believe it does. Every time you have a negative interaction with a co-worker, it's not necessarily lateral violence. It could very well be that someone is having a very, very bad day. Or week. Or it could be that rather than your co-workers being jealous of your extreme good looks, you're regularly doing something really stupid or thoughtless that irritates or annoys them. Quite possibly, the problem is you. Maybe you're not studying enough, learning enough, understanding enough or doing enough. Certainly if you're always having the same problems over and over again, everywhere you go, the problem IS you.

    That is the problem right there, 'when you grew up and learned more'??? If you are a constant complainer or whiner than i understand. But as a fresh new nurse who may ask a question once you should not encounter an attitude. Leave your dead dog or crappy husband at home. There is NO place for that in the work place. That is NOT what we are there for. Of course there are those that have problems themselves but yes there are nurses who as you put it 'eat their young' i have seen it. As far as the good looks thing, just ignore it. And yes most of us study and learn on our own, that is what nursing is, a never ending learning process.
    I believe the quoted portion of your post is similar to the story about the sixteen-year-old kid who couldn't get along with his folks until he had reached the age of 21. He couldn't believe how much they had learned in just five years.

    When you're new, you are somewhat self-centered, and that's fairly normal. It's just goes with the territory. You're so focused on learning all of the details and trying not to freak out and cramming everything into the allotted time and not getting called on the carpet that you pull your range of vision in pretty tight. It's only as you begin to feel some comfort and confidence that you can relax a little and cut yourself and others some slack. The downside of this is that newbies can be overly sensitive and easily rattled. They tend to take things to heart that, given a few years of experience, they'd just blow off or stand up to. Again, that's normal.

    It would be nice if all of the seasoned nurses could chill, and the ones I've seen mostly do. Some even take newbies under their wing and try to give them pointers and encouragement. But there are a few who, for whatever reason, are not the nurturing type.

    The ideal combination is a sensible, teachable newbie and and nurturing, encouraging vet. Not the greatest but still quite doable are a know-it-all or a shrinking violet newbie with a kind, caring vet or the teachable newbie with the starchy vet. These pairings may not feel the greatest, but they can still get the job done.

    The worst match-up is the cocky or the wilting newbie with the battleaxe vet. This is where the sparks can really fly and cause everyone on the unit to feel the heat.

    But do the math. The really awful new grad and the really awful grizzled veteran are each a small minority in their respective groups. So this particular duo would represent only a fraction of the possible combinations.

    A problem develops when people try to oversell the "bullying" complaints. In this blog article, I explain what bullying is and isn't.

    http://allnurses.com/nursing-blogs/b...-b-625107.html

    Nobody should be trampling over (or gobbling up) anyone else--whether new or seasoned nurse.

    And yet, it is a life skill--one I don't think is being taught much lately by the looks of things--to be able to assert yourself and stand your ground without either folding like a house of cards or snapping like a rabid dog. If someone is a snert, move on. Ask someone else. Look for people who have a positive outlook. Really nasty stuff should be reported, but the normal nuts and bolts friction of working with different personalities can help new grads transition from students who need approval (appropriate for a while in school) into independent practitioners.

    Sometimes I don't think enough attention is paid to the fact that this transition even exists. But it does. And some of the "meanness" can be attributed to new grads coming from camaraderie and supervision into an environment that must seem cold by comparison.

    I wish assertiveness techniques were taught so newbies felt they had the tools to set good boundaries. And I wish everyone, old and new, would just act decent toward each other.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Nov 5, '11
    NRSKarenRN and prmenrs like this.
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    I just finished a preceptorship. I hope to God that I never have to do that again. I think individules without much self-esteem or are insecure about themselves can make your life miserable. They have very little power in thier personal lives, but in the hospital they act like the Queen of England. What bothers me is this unhappy, miserable human being is the same person who will evaluate my performance. To make matters worse she had two years of experience, was the charge nurse, had a patient assignment and in her spare time was to precept me. I on the other hand have been in nursing since 1971, and became a flight nurse in the desert southwest. Now I ask you what could this inexperienced nurse teach me? How mean did she become? two days before I was to finish, she wrote up an evaluation of my clinical performance which was all a figment of her imagination. I was terminated from my preceptorship, and am now appealing the decision with the Provost Marshal. Then I will file a formal complaint against her license with the BON. You reap what you sow!!! Fltnrse2
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    They have to be or they will get cheated out of their bonus, pay, hours and shifts, and when management need to cut something who will they look to the nices nurse who never complains. Nurses that are weak their cna's will take more breaks, not give her patients the best care, cna want be prompt with needed labs. Nursing have to be stern because they are dealing with life and death. Look at the Doctors. Nurses have great responsibilites. There are no trying to be mean by make it in the working environment.
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    All nurses need to protect their interest. Nurses that are mean are not that way by chance. But, because they have learn to adjust to survive in tense environments. Nurses deal with life and death. Weak nurses get the worst duties, patients and floors. They are the first to get their bonuses, pay and shifts cut in budget problems. 4 nurses who enter the hospital field all left because they couldn't cut the tense environment are now working in calm nursing homes. It's more to nursing than being an excellent nurses. nurses aide. You have to build up a repretation of respect then they don't bother you. Stop letting your guard down. They are not going to change, you have to change. Demand respect, no one will confront a bulldog only a puppy. If you want to make it you have to sink or swim. Be a cna of outstanding repretation and no one will disrespect you.
    Last edit by nursehawthorne on Nov 16, '11
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    It took me years to finally be able to practice what I preach..........we are all like magnets, whatever we put out there, seems to come back to us..
    If we are positive, and exude that attitude...we get it in return..
    If we are negative, that is what we see....
    Accentuate the positive,,,,,eliminate the negative......it really works!!!!! Stop being a pessimist, and try optimism....see how that changes your life....
    nursel56 likes this.


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