"Nurses are so Mean" - page 14
by Ruby Vee 62,239 Views | 219 Comments
I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More
- 0Jan 16, '11 by neuromsQuote from mildlycodependentrnI am sure this opinion is not going to be well received but I don't care. Nursing is my second career and when I was going to nursing school I used to use words like Nobel when talking about nurses and I got some looks from other nurses I knew that no longer worked as nurses but they didn't explain. Now I know. I also know why people put themselves through the agony of nursing school and then decide within a year to never work as a nurse again. I don't know if being in the south east has anything to do with it but I have never in my life encountered such predatory women any where else in the country. It isn't just being snappy or impolite it is planning and plotting cruelty and trying to get people's licenses taken away or have people fired or other wise ruin lives. This is entertainment for these women. The mean girls in high school have nothing on these women and a few men. Also forget getting into any area besides med/surg unless you are young and attractive or a man. I worked in a high stress job before being a nurse and would gladly go back right now if the economy was better. It shows in this area of the country that codependent people are attracted to nursing and I also understand why so many nurses have substance abuse problems. These people don't go after everyone because they have to suck up to some and intimidate others so they "mind there own business" so they can have a group to cut the weak one out of the heard so the rest can bully and harrass one for the entertainment of the rest. The worst part of it all is that the worst offenders are usually made management because they are so sick that they are such two faced conartists. In this day and age when our society is so appauld and suprised at all the bullying in our schools and can't figure out where it is coming from I am not suprised at all. Companies pay lip service to the idea of zero tolerance for work place violence or harrassment but they will fire the victim that makes a complaint in a minute and promote the offender right after they make them employee of the month. I really hope these things aren't going on in other areas of the country as bad as they are here but I am afraid that that is a nieve hope on my part.
As in Nobel Prize? No wonder they were giving you 'looks.'
- 0Jan 16, '11 by nursel56 GuideQuote from notnursinganymoreHi, notnursinganymore - I'm sorry I didn't see your reply earlier! I thank you for your thoughtful answer. I must admit, I've never taken travel or short-term assignments, but I would imagine it is much, much harder to assimilate into an existing unit culture, and if I had not had the crazy-lady supervisor and experienced the havoc that can be created by one person with an apparent personality disorder of some sort, I might still be somewhat skeptical as prior to that, every nurse educator, manager and preceptor I worked with was supportive. I started in the late 70s, which I only mention because at times I wonder if the atmosphere has simply deteriorated over the years.Hello Nurse 156,
I agree with your message. And yes, there were moments of working with 'angel' nurses for whom I am surely grateful. If only all nurses were such. It doesn't negate the fact however, that many of the circumstances (most) were in fact not good, and had nothing to do with me. I've had five years out of nursing to sort that through. In fact, one hospital in Rhode Island where I completed a 12 week travel contract was known as a "h*ll hole" by other travelers, yet I was asked by my supervisor on my assigned unit to train oncoming contract nurses and begged to return by the techs. I know I was a good and kind nurse. Yet, it was common to be moved to two different units during a shift, and sometimes three. Multiply that stress with critical patients for each move. Unfortunately, the scales do tip on the negative side after all is said and done as to working as a nurse, which is my point. For the most part I believe most nurses go into the field with the right intentions. And diversification in the field is surely one of the lures into it. I also worked as a home health liason as well as a home health nurse, and in telemedicine, outpatient clinics, and the like to stay in the field yet to get away from the hospital stress. My widowed sister, whose husband she lost at 45 years due to the high stress and long hours (and obligation to get food on the table for a family) is an RN herself and worked most of her years in administration. She has many horror stories of her own, including the lying and deceit that goes with it to "curry" management. It is not my intention to persuade a potential nurse negatively away from the field. It is my mission if you will, in my retired status as a tribute to the service and life work my family and I contributed, to give a clear and honest recount on real life experiences for what could happen again to someone else. By doing so, it is a most generous offering of self to help someone else decide if they would want to be in a similar situation one day.
I don't normally voice that though, as I can't say for sure, and I don't want to lump good people into a perception of someone's age alone being the cause of that negative behavior.
The supervisor person from the hell-job was hired by the Medical Director and forced on the rest of us. When that happens it rarely starts or ends well, because simply being a physician executive doesn't mean you understand nursing teamwork, and the nurses who were above Ms. Special resented being left out of the hiring loop.
Thank you for responding and so sorry your sister had to go through such a traumatic experience and lose her husband at the age of 45.
- 2Jan 17, '11 by Ruby VeeQuote from rnccf2007i'm sure that you do always treat everyone with respect no matter what is going on with your personal life. we're not all such paragons of virtue, however, and very few of us are perfect. furthermore, not everyone knows when they're being perceived, however incorrectly, as being "short", "mean" or less than respectful. a statement that, in your mind is totally respectful may be interpreted by the person you're talking to as incredibly mean, obtuse, condescending or rude.and blah, blah, blah about 2 admissions; try 4 on a day shift in critical care. have to put in an iv or picc, one patient decanulates themselves, another has the audacity to initiate a code blue. this is part of the job. we appreciate our nursing assistants and at times all staff gets short with each other, but we also have respect for each other. i work 12 hour shifts with barely a break, but i still treat my co-workers and patients with respect. and if thet suffer because my husband cheated on me or my dog barfed on my shoes last night..i would rue the day i became a nurse.
- 1Jan 17, '11 by Ruby VeeQuote from mildlycodependentrnmost people find pretty much what they're looking for. if you walk into a situation expecting to find kind and helpful co-workers, you're much more likely to find them than if you walk in looking to find mean, nasty backstabbers, bullies and con artists.i am sure this opinion is not going to be well received but i don't care. nursing is my second career and when i was going to nursing school i used to use words like nobel when talking about nurses and i got some looks from other nurses i knew that no longer worked as nurses but they didn't explain. now i know. i also know why people put themselves through the agony of nursing school and then decide within a year to never work as a nurse again. i don't know if being in the south east has anything to do with it but i have never in my life encountered such predatory women any where else in the country. it isn't just being snappy or impolite it is planning and plotting cruelty and trying to get people's licenses taken away or have people fired or other wise ruin lives. this is entertainment for these women. the mean girls in high school have nothing on these women and a few men. also forget getting into any area besides med/surg unless you are young and attractive or a man. i worked in a high stress job before being a nurse and would gladly go back right now if the economy was better. it shows in this area of the country that codependent people are attracted to nursing and i also understand why so many nurses have substance abuse problems. these people don't go after everyone because they have to suck up to some and intimidate others so they "mind there own business" so they can have a group to cut the weak one out of the heard so the rest can bully and harrass one for the entertainment of the rest. the worst part of it all is that the worst offenders are usually made management because they are so sick that they are such two faced conartists. in this day and age when our society is so appauld and suprised at all the bullying in our schools and can't figure out where it is coming from i am not suprised at all. companies pay lip service to the idea of zero tolerance for work place violence or harrassment but they will fire the victim that makes a complaint in a minute and promote the offender right after they make them employee of the month. i really hope these things aren't going on in other areas of the country as bad as they are here but i am afraid that that is a nieve hope on my part.
- 2Jun 1, '11 by SpEdtacularGreat article! I wish more people could step back, accept that we're human and we make mistakes, and let things roll off their shoulders. People have freaked out on me before: patients, family members, coworkers, and I've always given them the benefit of the doubt because one day I might lose it and go off on someone and I hope that they will be understanding and do the same for me. Better yet, maybe they'll take me aside and ask what's bothering me rather than tattling to anyone and everyone who'll listen.
- 0Jun 11, '11 by GB686After years of this abusive profession, I am done. Yes there are nice nurses, but whoaa. The high and mighty attitudes, the looking down upon people. I have had to watch some of the most ignorant people on the face of the earth take care (or not) of family members in med surg, dialysis, psych units, etc. Yes, Yes, Yes, we ALL KNOW how much medical terminology some of you have learned. I learned it too and then some. I taught it too. But the mark of a true expert is one who can learn all those fancy words and then take them and explain it in a humanistic, professional manner to a human being who is scared, confused and worried sick about their loved one. Some of you have made comments that ooze with arrogance but I am not impressed. You'll hide behind HIPPA laws to avoid giving someone a minute of your precious time, just to violate it 10 times in the next hour by discussing a patient's name aloud in a hall or calling out full names in waiting rooms. Nursing used to have a modicum of compassion attached to it.....I know, pause for a laugh. Compassion is just a dirty word. No, I'm not talking about daisies and lollipops, but give me a break. Psych wards can especially treat people like dirt. Some of these jerks are so power happy. What are you all afraid of? For chrissakes, spend some time with your patients (oh excuse me clients is the preferred word now). Get of your butts, turn away from the computers and just walk by a room or two every now and then. Ask how someone is and actually give a ****. It won't kill you. You'll still get dates and smell ok. I used to do rounds whenever I could. People give you crap back because you never show your faces around their rooms. Put things in perspective. You are not God, never will be. And all you teachers, admins out there, stop accepting these snotty girls into your programs with 3 inch painted nails, jewelry dangling all over the place, chewing gum snapping and greasy, mousse-laden hair that don't know the first thing about infection control. There's more to work with than that. Start doing psych evals on some of the people you are hiring. I remember when I was in nsg school one of the RNs supervising a skill was reputed to be nasty as all get out. After she watch me put my first catheter in, she praised me and told me how good I was. She went home that night and killed herself. No joke. I remember another professional, on-staff psychologist who nitpicked constantly at staff. Guess what, another suicide. It's no secret how many nurses are addicts or under license suspensions. The only reason it has dropped is because there are more watchdogs out there. I personally think this profession and MDs should have to have psych pre-screenings and moderate, ongoing counseling--hardcore counseling. Weed out the garbage.Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Jun 13, '11 : Reason: changed to all **
- 0Jul 4, '11 by nightengalegoddessHi. This is an old thread, but wanted to comment. I find that nurses will coddle the infirm. Even if the infirm is the nurse. The infirm of mind or body seems to get the most mileage out of any job. Try being attractive, fit, happy; you will become a target. We can get into lots of arguments about why...but it is the fact. If you are healthy; mind, body and spirit; and also absolutely might as well be an MD ( sharp) ...than you may be able to survive. But even then, you may be snuffed out by the co-dependant, unhealthy bunches. I have seen it and heard it time and time again. Yes, I understand the RN population usually has to eat )(&^. And then they regurgitate it to whomever looks like they are healthy enough to handle it.....because this is human nature. I feel sorry for them. I am not co-dependant, and will not be forced to act so. Keep your head to yourself. Help others as much as possible..even if they suck. Put out energy to your co-workers...they are often psychologicaly as messed up as your patients......kill em with kindness. And let the poop slide off you. I have found, in nursing; be nice to everyone, do your job as well as you can, and make the problem people feel important. And God help US if WE have a bad day. Because you will hear about it for months. And that's just the way it is. And male nurses....thank god for their no-nonsense attitudes. I am so grateful when I can give report to a male RN. They have never ever given me (*&T. I love nursing. I just wish all my co-workers did. But.....if wishes were fishes.....we'd have enough omega 3's to be ageless.........I love us all............Blessings,,,,and walking in beauty........no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!