The nurses every co-worker hates - page 5

by RNGriffin 8,198 Views | 59 Comments

I don't know exactly how the context of this message will be articulated, but I am interested in gaining knowledge on the topic & opinions. So, I am a seasoned nurse, not that it should make any difference in the haul of this... Read More


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    I find the best way to break the ice with people is showing interest in responses regarding their personal lives and relating experiences with them. Another way to open the doors to friendship is through people's appetites. Maybe bringing in a plate of homebaked treats to share with the coworkers before getting report. After all, work is like a 2nd home, spending anywhere from 8-12 hrs + with coworkers.
    twinkletoes53 and SHGR like this.
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    Netglow- made me laugh!
    anotherone likes this.
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    I am wondering if you genuinely believe it to be true that "you are only relatable, when you never disagree and are a wo/man" ?

    I can relate that early in my career in CVRU some people viewed me as aloof. From my own myopic perspective I was totally focused on "getting it right " in a very complex environment. As I gained experience,there was time to exhale,soften and in time others came to view me more gently.

    You seem a straight shooter so with this in mind my question is "Is your approach working for you? " If it is ,accept you are more solitary and disregard others opinions. If it isn't then change is required. You will lose nothing of yourself by striving to open your heart wider.

    Be gentle with yourself.It sounds like you have so much to offer.
  4. 0
    I am wondering if you genuinely believe &nbsp;it to be true that "you are only relatable, when you never disagree and are a wo/man" ?<br><br>I can relate that early in my career in CVRU some people viewed me as aloof. From my own myopic&nbsp;perspective&nbsp;I was totally focused on "getting it right " in a very complex environment. As I gained experience,there was time to exhale,soften and in time others came to view me more gently.<br><br>You seem a straight shooter so with this in mind my question is "Is your approach working for you? " If it is ,accept you are more solitary and disregard others opinions. If it isn't then change is required. You will lose nothing of yourself by striving to open your heart wider.<br><br>Be gentle with yourself.It sounds like you have so much to offer.
  5. 0
    I am wondering if you genuinely believe it to be true that "you are only relatable, when you never disagree and are a wo/man" ?&l

    I can relate that early in my career in CVRU some people viewed me as aloof. From my own myopic perspective I was totally focused on "getting it right " in a very complex environment. As I gained experience,there was time to exhale,soften and in time others came to view me more gently.

    You seem a straight shooter so with this in mind my question is "Is your approach working for you? " If it is ,accept you are more solitary and disregard others opinions. If it isn't then change is required. You will lose nothing of yourself by striving to open your heart wider

    Be gentle with yourself.It sounds like you have so much to offer.
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    Why in healthcare are we taught so heavily about inter-cultural communication and acceptance on how other cultures communicate (IE eye contact, facial expressions, body language, gestures and so forth? Yet when it come to co-workers if your not perky-jerky your rude, lol? The way I learned not to think someone is rude/mean? I kept my mouth shut about my feelings on the person's interactions and watched how they communicated with others. 9 out of 10 x it was the same as me. That's how learned it wasn't personal and Voila suddenly it didn't bother me anymore! Just my 2 cents!
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    For some, they do not go to work to socialize. Still others are not socially engaging, and go to work to do their best, then go home. Terms like "mean" is insinuating that there's some sort of social interaction. Because one chooses to focus on tasks at hand doesn't and shouldn't label one "mean". Because you were in management, then you are learned in the art of professional distance. Because you are a "seasoned" nurse, you can make yourself a direct and active member of the team, especially when the sh** hits the fan. And that is shown by doing. That you can be calm and focused in an unexpected and critical situation is modeling appropriate behavior. Talking about ones social life and sharing with coworkers may make you seem all sunshine and lemonade, but that you can be counted on to take the lead in say a code or rapid response, shows that thank goodness someone is direct and to the point and a take charge kind of person. In your role, to say to a fellow nurse "you handled that really well, thank you" would go a long way. But you shouldn't feel the need to be the blow some sunshine up their butt kind of a nurse, either. But if you are put in the position of charge, then to encourage positive outcomes would be to your advantage, and most importantly your patient's advantage, as you will not be running around trying to clean up messes that should have/could have been nipped in the bud.
    If your patients are complaining that you are "mean" THAT is what I would focus softening my approach on. I think that one can be direct, as in a patient education sort of way, without being "for the love of GOD Martha, you NEED to take your Lasix, don't care if you have to pee 30 times during Bingo, but this is the third time I have seen you this month, and this is getting old for both of us......" There's a difference between educating and annoyance.
    The same can be said with co-workers. You can help in any way you can regarding the tasks at hand, but to be on the receiving end of babbling and carrying on about boyfriend and/or husband issues and the like IS annoying, but re-direction to a general, "I am sure that you are frustrated with your personal situation, however, what can I do to help you with your med pass" or something of that nature.
    Even a "thanks everyone for your team work" at the end of a shift focuses solely on work ethic as opposed to "Woooo Hooooo where are we all gonna go for a cocktail?!?!?!"
    There is nothing wrong with keeping your work life and social life seperate. There is nothing wrong with focusing solely on what is happening on the floor and not get into the fluff. If you are "best buds" with everyone on the floor, then you would be seen as "fake" or giving preferrential treatment. So you can't win for losing in dynamics such as what you are describing.
    For younger people, "mean" is the new descriptive word for any and all behavior that is subjectively seen as non-catering to the whims of the personal stories that perhaps you don't respond to, that you may not be "kumbya" and campfires, and that you are not interested in smores and ghost stories at meal break. For us "older" nurses, we are just attempting to move forward and do the best with what we got for our patients, and have enough "you are so meannnnn" comments from our own kids, hear about it ad nauseum from our adult kids regarding our grandkids, our siblings regarding our nieces and nephews...... in this generation, there seems to be a whole lotta you are so mean comments going round.
    libbyliberal likes this.
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    Quote from griffinchet
    ... I have found co-workers have shied away from engaging in conversation with me or interacting with me on a regular basis...
    Quote from griffinchet
    I truly couldn't build up the interest to be interested in my co-workers kids, husbands, or lives outside of work.
    Perhaps people don't engage you in conversation or interact with you because they don't want to bother you with talk about their kids, husbands, or lives outside of work?

    I mean, I get it. I don't want to hear every detail of my coworkers' potty training woes. But people like to share. We spend a ton of time with our coworkers, in a high stress environment where we really have to depend on each other. Letting them share can be your good deed for the day.
    anotherone, Aurora77, nursel56, and 1 other like this.
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    I once worked with a nurse who was a CCRN for over 20 years, professional, knowledgeable and VERY intimidating. I wasn't sure if I liked her at first, but I absolutely respected her. Report always matched the patient. We got stuff done and grew to trust each other.


    Unfortunately, the petty small minded people in this low level ICU decided she wasn't a "good fit." That's right: you had to be lazy and incompetent to be a good fit. They denied her hours. Our manager another ignorant f!@#$%^ redneck knew she could work circles around him and supported the false allegations his little favorites made against this fantastic nurse.


    Does any of this sound familiar?
    anotherone and echoRNC711 like this.
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    I was once told at annual evaluation that "I was raising the bar too high and some of the other nurses didnt appreciate it ". I was speechless.
    chevyv, anotherone, and libbyliberal like this.


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