Nurse with Disdain

Nurses Relations

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Hi. I've got to vent here, since I have no "friends" that are nurses, and I want the input of some perhaps unbiased individuals.

I'm a mid-30s male career changer. I left a career I had for a decade (not sure why actually) and got a second bachelor's to be a nurse. My previous employment involved traits remarkably different than those that the profession of nursing wants to embody involving command, pointed direction, and disregard for feelings of others. Sure, I've cranked out many reports, position papers, and documents pertaining to administration so the paperwork end of nursing isn't the issue. I'm ok with that.

I actually deleted three paragraphs stating specifically what don't like, but I decided to filter it for all of you as after reading it most of you would probably be up in arms against me.

Without revealing any other information about myself I am actually in a practitioner program to become a NP. I thought perhaps I might find fulfillment there since patient interaction is short and to the point, and the purpose is to provide treatment which I thought I was going to do when I went for that second degree in nursing. I still may like it. I'm halfway there at this point so I'm going to press forward, and I understand that many of you might object to this.

I need to find other work for now though. I am absolutely on the edge, dread going to work, and even more so I hate actually doing the work. The neediness of patients infuriates me. I can't go back to where I was, and I hate myself for thinking I could feign an interest in this field.

Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Maybe 'pure research' would be a better fit. Dealing with tissue samples and molecular interactions rather than people.

Pure research usually requires a biology background, and the pay is crappy (equivalent to what a CNA or LPN makes). Research nursing, on the other hand, still requires a significant amount of patient contact.

Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
Thanks for all the replies. I'm going to sign off now and probably delete the account if I can figure out how. I'd like to expound on some of my statements and answer some of your questions, but....OpSec.

I am confused as to why you even came on here if you are so worried someone will identify you. Trust me, with what little info you've given us no one can identify you.

i honestly don't know what specialty would be ideal for you.

i just wanted to ask about those who suggested er nursing...really?

i get the high pt turnover, but shoo, many of those pts will try those who have the patience of mother theresa.

talk about needy, manipulative, and demanding!

op, if you pursue er, think twice...or do more research on it.

best of everything.

leslie

Specializes in Emergency Department/Radiology.

There appears to be one thing missing in all these posts. The problem my friend in fact might not be the job, but that you have an unrealistic expectation and seem to be egocentric in your search for "the job". You want excitement, purpose and interest, but it has to be on your terms, interesting that you have found ANY job to meet your expectations.

Perhaps you would be better served by looking inside, if in fact you are able to see that you may have faults, and start there.

I dont think it is the profession......its the person.

Now I wonder if the OP was doing research for an article, not really seeking an answer for himself.

It sounds as though you disdain human relationships. You stated your previous employment was in a field that had a disregard for the feelings of others. Did you mean you worked in a field that exploited others? Without knowing more about you, I am initially thinking Media industry or professional soldier. Nursing, whether at bedside or NP does require you to have empathy towards patients and to advocate for their well being. Your post sounds as though you abhor human relationships.

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I think some of these observations are rather harsh. Many of the things the OP says he does not love I don't either. That doesn't make him or her a bad person, a selfish person or a bad nurse. The nature of bedside nursing is such that it would frustrate most people I think. He s looking for a better fit and is recognizing where bedside nursing is not an ideal one. Self insight. Good quality. OP, I hope you find your way. The struggle is part of the journey.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

I'm standing by my previous post: I fear that OP has made a wrong turn in career choices. I hear more than disdain for patients - I hear a theme of intolerance of people, or at least any patient who doesn't immediately take instruction, who might want a chance to explain extenuating circumstances, or who (God forbid) dares to have questions that challenge OP's advice or instruction.

Truly, I mean no offense, OP. I simply do not understand what led you to choose a carer in nursing.

OP, I totally understand you. You, probably loved the science and the technical knowledge aspects - like me. You are also quick to see the lay of the land, like me. You are pretty sure that unless there is a miracle, this landscape of nursing is really more like scorched earth. So, now you are trying to salvage the financial investment and the time investment. So are at least half of all nurses. I dunno, you might try going corporate, see what's around. Stay away from pharma sales - it's totally tanking far worse than nursing (and seriously all you do is drop samples and deliver lunch - not kidding, which is why the are getting deleted). Stay away from cardiac pacers/ICDs too - you would have to go back to school for it and the product is always defective it seems and it's a miserable job.

Hi. I've got to vent here, since I have no "friends" that are nurses, and I want the input of some perhaps unbiased individuals.

I'm a mid-30s male career changer. I left a career I had for a decade (not sure why actually) and got a second bachelor's to be a nurse. My previous employment involved traits remarkably different than those that the profession of nursing wants to embody involving command, pointed direction, and disregard for feelings of others. Sure, I've cranked out many reports, position papers, and documents pertaining to administration so the paperwork end of nursing isn't the issue. I'm ok with that.

I actually deleted three paragraphs stating specifically what don't like, but I decided to filter it for all of you as after reading it most of you would probably be up in arms against me.

Without revealing any other information about myself I am actually in a practitioner program to become a NP. I thought perhaps I might find fulfillment there since patient interaction is short and to the point, and the purpose is to provide treatment which I thought I was going to do when I went for that second degree in nursing. I still may like it. I'm halfway there at this point so I'm going to press forward, and I understand that many of you might object to this.

I need to find other work for now though. I am absolutely on the edge, dread going to work, and even more so I hate actually doing the work. The neediness of patients infuriates me. I can't go back to where I was, and I hate myself for thinking I could feign an interest in this field.

What about critical care? (Or emergency?) It would be difficult to feel disdain for the critically ill (I think), though the families might need more hand-holding than you are able/willing to do. (I'm guessing and reading into your post, I suppose.) The critical care nurses I observed, admittedly not many, were brainy but the "softer" skills -- not so much. (My opinion.) Anyway, sorry you are disappointed. I know how it feels to have invested so much and to have had such high hopes. I think many of us new grads are in that boat, albeit for many different reasons. I'm still hoping to find the niche where I fit and can find a modicum of fulfillment.

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

Why continue in something that you feel you are goin to hate? No matter where you work you are going to get whiny needy people, it's part of our profession. If you plan on working with sick people you need to get your warm and fuzzy on, even if you aren't feeling it.

Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

I didn't understand whether you meant *nurses* have 'disregard for feelings of others' - which is what it looked like you were saying, which is (we all hope!) a rare thing - or whether you meant that was a characteristic in your previous career. But your statement ' ... the neediness of patients infuriates me' is a mega-sized red flag. If people need medical care, then they're going to be SOME level of 'needy', or at least pretty often. Being a NP will probably 'solve' your problem a little bit, but still, I've read of med school students being given empathy training ... so it's not like you ever totally get away from the patient, their wants/needs/fears/questions, whatever.

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