My God, these family members!!

Nurses Relations

Published

You are reading page 19 of My God, these family members!!

OttawaRPN

451 Posts

Specializes in acute care med/surg, LTC, orthopedics.
Most Dons pander to family members and patients and do not care one damn about the nursing staff. If a sign says 2 visitors at a time, family members never honor it, and management doesn't back you up when you want to enforce it. Most family members think we are slaves--blame television, doctors, and management for perpetuating the mistreatment of nurses. Our country is also way too liberal--patients and family members can verbally abuse the staff, all in the name of the first amendment. There is no respect for those who have higher education--family members and patients interrupt doctors and nurses when they are speaking to each other. I wish i could clobber them and tell them, "shut up you cry-baby, how dare you interrupt two professionals, go back to school--then you can interrupt us. You are insignificant and all we are doing is babysitting you and your relatives. How dare you interrupt a doctor."

Yes, but how do you REALLY feel?

;)

flashpoint

1,327 Posts

Personally, I don't want family members doing things like taking their loved ones to the bathroom or giving them their baths...that is my job. I get paid to do it and it provides me an opportunity to do assess skin , ADL skills, etc. If family members are always flushing the poop, how can I tell that it is black and tarry? :) I also don't want family members running around our kitchen or digging around in the ice machine? They aren't allowed in the kitchen at all (and we don't have a pantry type thing for patient snacks) and I always wonder of people using the ice machine have washed their hands or are dipping the drink mug right in the machine (we don't have an automatic one...have to scoop the ice out).

I do, however, expect families to step out when they are asked. I also expect them to be independent enough to be there alone...I am not a fan of taking my patient's visitors to the bathroom and helping them with peri-care, getting dressed, etc. I expect them to understand when we are with a more critical patient and to wait when they have to. I hope they know enough not to walk into another patient's room and to understand that we have to take time to chart, review labs, and call the doctors. I get annoyed when they knock on the door of the staff restroom and yell through the door that mom wants her channel changed on the TV. I also hope that they have enough faith in us and the doctors to trust us to do what is best. I really wish that all unreliable sources of medical information could somehow be banned and that old wives tales would somehow disappear.

leenie123

25 Posts

Would of been told it is all in the day on the job, and to just suck it up! The last place work for me usually N-aids were lat alot or one after another reason why they were late, or didn't come in. There uswually was 2 full time LPN's, and an RN, as charge nurse, + a temp or 2 sometimes to help, and the supervisor. Of course we always worked short of staff. So, The 2 LPN's Had to split the unit of about 40 or so Pts. Those nurses also passed all meds,IV's, Tfeedings, all treatments, and drsg chngs, plus constantly getting interrupted to have to go to the N-station for one phone call after another all day. The nurses also did the BP's, and bl glucose tests, and insulin, and all other injections. etc..Made for alot of locking, and unlocking the med, and tx carts. The last place I worked the nurse supervisor also expected the nurse's to do bedside cares if the n-aids were busy, or just plain not there! If you couldn't get it all done by end of shift you were told you needed to start making better use of your time! Absolutely insane!:smackingfEven working through your lunch and brakes you still couldn't get it all done. It was very stressfull, and exhausting. I finally quit the place. It was quit or lose your mind, I just quit!!! It just depends on the staffing, and how well they also work tog! I had sugested they get a unit clerk to ans the phones, and some of the paper work, but that went over like a lead you know what.

NurseFrustrated

116 Posts

Specializes in Med-surge, hospice, LTC, tele, rehab.
Been spending some time going through these posts as I'm having some trouble dealing with demanding family members. Some good tips here...setting boundaries, good delegation. Here's a story that I would love some feedback on:

I work on a busy med-surg unit that is oncology focused. We have a 1:5 ratio (usually) but on a particular weekend, 2 RNs called in sick, the NM took a vacation day and while we had 3 CNAs on the floor, 2 were doing 1:1 safety watches. This left 4 RNs and 1 CNA to care for 30 pts. Within 30 mins of eachother, we called 3 codes...everyone was scrambling. During this time, a pt's wife came to the nurse's station to say that her husband was on the commode and needed help getting back to bed. It was explained to her that staff was actively involved in SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES and someone would be available to help her as soon as possible. She then proceeded to go from room to room looking for someone to help her finally arriving in the room where a CODE BLUE was in progress and stepped in between the RN doing chest compressions and the doctor ordering meds and DEMANDED that someone help her husband off the commode.

Ok nurses.....is this the absolute worst you've ever seen or heard of?

And how would you/your unit/your hospital have dealt with this?

I maybe would have had someone call the house coordinator nurse and tell her to come get the man off the toilet or to have a CNA from another unit come up to get him off the toilet because your unit is in a mess from short staffing and several emergency situations. Then I would have someone call security to escort the family member out of the room. It's ridiculous the mess that units are left in. It makes me so mad! The hospital CEO should come get him off the toilet and handle the wife's complaint. Now there's an idea. :lol2:

leenie123

25 Posts

Good Idea! However, I'm sure I would of been on her "poop list" no pun intended!:rolleyes:

SoundofMusic

1,016 Posts

Yesterday i was treated to a situation where we'd been dealing w/ a severely demented elderly woman. She was definitely not "pleasantly" confused ...more like cussing, grabbing, nasty, and profane any time we tried to touch her. The poor daughter came in and they lady was doing fine until I came in ....she then lit into me, calling me several choice words right in front of the family and digging into my arm w/ her nails as I tried to re-wrap a sling ...

Their eyes got wide as saucers and they immediately started apologizing ... it just felt good to finally feel validated, and to have someone actually witness the abuse we'd been taking off the lady for 2 days. Not that I blamed or was resentful of her ...she was obviously mentally incapacitated ...but somewhere down inside, she wanted to let the nurses have it and no one else ....

It just felt good to have them see it for a change.

BQueenGirl

14 Posts

it never ends for me i have one particually abusive family member in my ltc facility that refuses to accept his mother's decline even though we feed her dinner for an hour every night while she spits and fights with us and the food runs out of her mouth and then he states that is is our fault that she is negleted even though i never take a lunch break i sit in the dining room to make sure she is fed while she hits and spits and me or the cena, he refuses to change her from a dnr status or send her to the hospital or let hospice talk to him i have inserted iv after iv, he refuses peg tube placement states if we were not negleting her and doing our jobs and providing her appropriate medical care that she would not be doing poorly and most of my time is spent on the woman and honestly i am just sick of going into work every day and dealing with him threatning to report the facility to the state or call a lawyer for abusing and negleting his mother while i spend most of my day giving her one on one care all day. management and the physcian cater to him because he is such a nasty and abusive and threatinging bully of a man.

Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.
it never ends for me i have one particually abusive family member in my ltc facility that refuses to accept his mother's decline even though we feed her dinner for an hour every night while she spits and fights with us and the food runs out of her mouth and then he states that is is our fault that she is negleted even though i never take a lunch break i sit in the dining room to make sure she is fed while she hits and spits and me or the cena, he refuses to change her from a dnr status or send her to the hospital or let hospice talk to him i have inserted iv after iv, he refuses peg tube placement states if we were not negleting her and doing our jobs and providing her appropriate medical care that she would not be doing poorly and most of my time is spent on the woman and honestly i am just sick of going into work every day and dealing with him threatning to report the facility to the state or call a lawyer for abusing and negleting his mother while i spend most of my day giving her one on one care all day. management and the physcian cater to him because he is such a nasty and abusive and threatinging bully of a man.

Man, if that was me I would SERIOUSLY be taking this guy aside & having a very long talk with him. And if he has complaints he has to put them in writing to the nursing HR office and/or medical administration first after to take it further. U need to get your NM/NUM to speak to him as well, don't put up with it!!

Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.
Been spending some time going through these posts as I'm having some trouble dealing with demanding family members. Some good tips here...setting boundaries, good delegation. Here's a story that I would love some feedback on:

I work on a busy med-surg unit that is oncology focused. We have a 1:5 ratio (usually) but on a particular weekend, 2 RNs called in sick, the NM took a vacation day and while we had 3 CNAs on the floor, 2 were doing 1:1 safety watches. This left 4 RNs and 1 CNA to care for 30 pts. Within 30 mins of eachother, we called 3 codes...everyone was scrambling. During this time, a pt's wife came to the nurse's station to say that her husband was on the commode and needed help getting back to bed. It was explained to her that staff was actively involved in SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES and someone would be available to help her as soon as possible. She then proceeded to go from room to room looking for someone to help her finally arriving in the room where a CODE BLUE was in progress and stepped in between the RN doing chest compressions and the doctor ordering meds and DEMANDED that someone help her husband off the commode.

Ok nurses.....is this the absolute worst you've ever seen or heard of?

And how would you/your unit/your hospital have dealt with this?

I've seen and helped in quite a few codes, but if I'm not involved in the codes, there is always a nurse delegated to stop other people stepping up to the bed or in the room where the code is going on.

Some people are just stupid & selfish - they either don't want to understand what ur trying to tell them, don't understand what a 'code' means (unless it's explained in very simple language), or just don't effing care.

They're just idiots.

nursemike, ASN, RN

1 Article; 2,362 Posts

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Been spending some time going through these posts as I'm having some trouble dealing with demanding family members. Some good tips here...setting boundaries, good delegation. Here's a story that I would love some feedback on:

I work on a busy med-surg unit that is oncology focused. We have a 1:5 ratio (usually) but on a particular weekend, 2 RNs called in sick, the NM took a vacation day and while we had 3 CNAs on the floor, 2 were doing 1:1 safety watches. This left 4 RNs and 1 CNA to care for 30 pts. Within 30 mins of eachother, we called 3 codes...everyone was scrambling. During this time, a pt's wife came to the nurse's station to say that her husband was on the commode and needed help getting back to bed. It was explained to her that staff was actively involved in SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES and someone would be available to help her as soon as possible. She then proceeded to go from room to room looking for someone to help her finally arriving in the room where a CODE BLUE was in progress and stepped in between the RN doing chest compressions and the doctor ordering meds and DEMANDED that someone help her husband off the commode.

Ok nurses.....is this the absolute worst you've ever seen or heard of?

And how would you/your unit/your hospital have dealt with this?

Three codes in quick succession and short-staffed to begin with is enough to cause any unit problems. But I once had a patient go into uncontrolled A-fib and have to be cardioverted, and while I was busy not hiding in the med room and crying, my charge nurse asked a couple of my coworkers to check whether my other patients had any meds due. Now that I'm more experienced and doing charge, myself, as soon as the code team arrives, I try to see that any of our staff not actively involved are checking other patients. It can take some pushing, because everyone is naturally anxious to see how the code turns out, but having some other patient lying on the floor doesn't help the one being coded. Of course, you have to actually have some staff. Still, these problems can be averted to some extent, most of the time. Way better chance of re-educating the staff than the patients' families.

sevensonnets

975 Posts

For me it's family members who come into another patient's room to ask me some stupid question like When is the doctor coming? Do that to me and I shut the door in your face. I'm not being rude, you are. We had a CVA patient who was NPO on tube feeding. She was calling for water. The daughter of ANOTHER patient went into the room, gave the lady a drink of water, and then put the bed down flat!!!! And yes, you guessed it, she aspirated. Her excuse? The nurse was ignoring the poor lady and she wanted a drink of water so I thought I was helping. The nurse is always rude to me anyway, and she ignores my mother too and yesterday when I asked her to make me a cup of decaf she said she didn't have time.........

MECO28, BSN, RN

216 Posts

Specializes in Float Pool-Med-Surg, Telemetry, IMCU.

I was working as a sitter a few weeks ago (which is often its own kind of hell) and a patient's son looked at my badge, looked at me, looked back at my badge and said "Have you put on a few pounds since that picture was taken?" :no:

I was speechless. Probably a good thing because had I opened my mouth I'm pretty sure I'd have gotten myself fired.

Off to hit the treadmill....

+ Add a Comment