My God, these family members!!

Nurses Relations

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They are just killing me. Why is it that so many of them feel so entitled to sit in their aging parents rooms and just boss us nurses to HELL and back, while they sit there, fully able to do much of what we're doing for their parent, but simply do NOT have the time to do when we have other patients and issues to deal with. i MEAN -- can't they get mom up at least perhaps ONCE during the day? Does it have to be a nurse doing it every single time, ten times a day??

I just came off a shift tonight where I literally waitressed all day long, making and fetching coffee and water and 100 millions cups of juice for these patients (because we're always short a tech) -- and a patient's daughter was literally screaming at nurses at change of shift to come in and do something or other for her mother. It was absolutely NOT an emergency. (She was actually screaming -- "Good thing it WASN'T an emergency!!" These people have been on our unit for over 2-3 weeks, running every nurse on the unit ragged. Their mother is far over 80 years old and is only going to head to weeks of rehab after being on our unit. They want a private nurse -- that is what they want and need. But they can't get that on a floor. I think their call light was on for perhaps five minutes, max.

I am just SO tired of family members not understanding what we do -- and our managers from the floor to the corporate headquarters not backing us up to explain it to them. We are simply to treat everyone as our "family members" and go above and beyond 1000 percent of the time. Who goes above and beyond FOR NURSES??? DOES ANYONE???

We have no private space to do our charting, we are like fish in a bowl for these family members. If they see you at the nursing station -- that's it. They are ON YOU like flies. If they don't have a reason to bug you, they will find one. So, you don't get your charting done on time and are left to stay after a shift for an hour.

I am just so tired of it. So burnt out. Is it any wonder why they can't keep nurses for long? I mean -- come on, management -- take a LOOK at what you are doing to nurses nowadays. Put some LIMITS, please, on these family members. It is OUT OF CONTROL. :madface:

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger please! :) I'm just telling you what the regulations state. And, if your nurses station has a sharps container in it, it's considered a "dirty" area and food and drink are simply not allowed. It has nothing to do with being treated like a child or servant, it's the law.

The manager doesn't go without fluids because his/her office is not considered a "dirty" area. I work as an Employee Health Nurse, and I had to move my sharps container to the bathroom in order for me to have a drink at my desk. Once again, following regulations.

And no, the manager only has to follow regulations. They don't have to accomodate anyone if it means compromising regulations and getting citations.

Like I said, I understand. I worked the floor for over 15 years. And yes, I had a drink with me, and got busted a few times, too. But it really irks me when people act like it's the managers being "mean", or nurses are being treated like "servants", when it's really a matter of following regs so the facility doesn't get fined which may result in the employees not getting raises.

'nuff said.....

Didn't mean to shoot the messenger ...apologies if seemed that way.

However I'll agree to differ. Nurses are treated poorly when they can't have the fluids they need.

The existence of regulation doesn't mean it can't be debated or disagreed with? Nurses (mostly) haven't joined the military.

This issue really irks me....years and years of being treated by children by people who are supposed to have more managerial ability than me.

They lack the managerial ability, will and real respect for nurses (not 'their nurses') ....that's why they say 'it's the regulation...nothing can be done about it'. That's a load of bull. They need to start thinking more creatively ...start finding a way to satisfy regulations and staff needs.

Oh yes ...it can actually be done ....adults in other industries expect better. And they often receive better.

I expect a professional manager to possess the required education, experience, will and intelligence...and make it work.

There is no reason why nurses should get less.

Not wishing to accommodate nurses is a cop-out.

Really, I sometimes wonder ...if this occupation did not provide a reasonable pay and so much flexibility ....it would be a complete pink ghetto.

We ALL need to start taking responsibility to improve conditions .

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Specializes in ER.

If not having food or fluids at the nurses station is a regulation, it is not well enforced. Only one of the five US hospitals I worked for abided by it. I quit after about 6 months of dehydration.

Patients eat and drink beside sharps containers. Nurses do strenuous jobs and often delay or miss their regular breaks. It's a regulation that creates more dangers than it prevents.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Sorry I have never seen a regulation where we can't have drink bottles near sharps containers or anywhere else. I always have my big water bottle in the nurses' station - I don't care what anyone says. And no, I don't leave it in the kitchen because some nurse manager swanning around with her cup of tea while we are all gasping, says we must. We have a right to at least drink, even if we don't get time for proper breaks.

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I got an urgent call to a patient's room a month or so ago. His whole family was standing around the bed and parted as I entered the room....Only to see him holding the menu. His sister said, Ok, the nurse is here, now tell her what you want. He started giving me his dinner order. Ummm, I tried waitressing in college and want everyone here to know if I had to do it for a living, I would starve. I always screwed orders up, forgot to turn them in and basically was a nightmare. I then informed the family of my track record and kindly gave them the number to the kitchen so he could place his order. I mean, really?

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Specializes in ICU, CVICU.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger please! :) I'm just telling you what the regulations state. And, if your nurses station has a sharps container in it, it's considered a "dirty" area and food and drink are simply not allowed. It has nothing to do with being treated like a child or servant, it's the law.

The manager doesn't go without fluids because his/her office is not considered a "dirty" area. I work as an Employee Health Nurse, and I had to move my sharps container to the bathroom in order for me to have a drink at my desk. Once again, following regulations.

And no, the manager only has to follow regulations. They don't have to accomodate anyone if it means compromising regulations and getting citations.

Like I said, I understand. I worked the floor for over 15 years. And yes, I had a drink with me, and got busted a few times, too. But it really irks me when people act like it's the managers being "mean", or nurses are being treated like "servants", when it's really a matter of following regs so the facility doesn't get fined which may result in the employees not getting raises.

'nuff said.....

I have a question: so if there are not sharps containers at the nurse's station, drinks should be allowed? We have a large station, at one end is the med pixis way at the other end is a water and ice dispenser.(it is an open station with no pt food room - ICU) We are told we cannot keep our drinks out at the end with the water disenser. How does this make sense? They say it is too near where meds are prepared. But it's ok to given pts water from the exact same area? Plus, good point that was made about pts eating in their rooms right next to sharps. Seriously, you seem to know some about this, so just wondering.

I totally agree that there have to be creative solutions to satisfy safety and basic human needs. I think we have all gone home and peed brown we are so dehydrated - no one can argue we need more access to water and food more easily. And until we have enough staff to safely cover my patients, I will keep my water out! Write me up - please!

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Specializes in Critical Care/Coronary Care Unit,.

You know what would have been funny although definitely not appreciated by management is if when that lady was yelling "Good thing it's not an emergency," one of the staff should have yelled back "Exactly it's not an emergency!"

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Specializes in drug seekers and the incurably insane..

RandeeN...you are scary....a "Stepford Nurse"!!!

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Been spending some time going through these posts as I'm having some trouble dealing with demanding family members. Some good tips here...setting boundaries, good delegation. Here's a story that I would love some feedback on:

I work on a busy med-surg unit that is oncology focused. We have a 1:5 ratio (usually) but on a particular weekend, 2 RNs called in sick, the NM took a vacation day and while we had 3 CNAs on the floor, 2 were doing 1:1 safety watches. This left 4 RNs and 1 CNA to care for 30 pts. Within 30 mins of eachother, we called 3 codes...everyone was scrambling. During this time, a pt's wife came to the nurse's station to say that her husband was on the commode and needed help getting back to bed. It was explained to her that staff was actively involved in SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES and someone would be available to help her as soon as possible. She then proceeded to go from room to room looking for someone to help her finally arriving in the room where a CODE BLUE was in progress and stepped in between the RN doing chest compressions and the doctor ordering meds and DEMANDED that someone help her husband off the commode.

Ok nurses.....is this the absolute worst you've ever seen or heard of?

And how would you/your unit/your hospital have dealt with this?

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.
Been spending some time going through these posts as I'm having some trouble dealing with demanding family members. Some good tips here...setting boundaries, good delegation. Here's a story that I would love some feedback on:

I work on a busy med-surg unit that is oncology focused. We have a 1:5 ratio (usually) but on a particular weekend, 2 RNs called in sick, the NM took a vacation day and while we had 3 CNAs on the floor, 2 were doing 1:1 safety watches. This left 4 RNs and 1 CNA to care for 30 pts. Within 30 mins of eachother, we called 3 codes...everyone was scrambling. During this time, a pt's wife came to the nurse's station to say that her husband was on the commode and needed help getting back to bed. It was explained to her that staff was actively involved in SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES and someone would be available to help her as soon as possible. She then proceeded to go from room to room looking for someone to help her finally arriving in the room where a CODE BLUE was in progress and stepped in between the RN doing chest compressions and the doctor ordering meds and DEMANDED that someone help her husband off the commode.

Ok nurses.....is this the absolute worst you've ever seen or heard of?

And how would you/your unit/your hospital have dealt with this?

I would have called security and had her removed from the unit. No excuse.

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Specializes in Med-surge, hospice, LTC, tele, rehab.
They don't put up with crap like that where I work. The DON tells them with a quickness that if we can't meet their needs Mom or Pop can be hauled out of there in a heartbeat. This doesn't mean we nurses have the easy road, we're expected to stay hopping, but not on account of some unreasonable family member.

Lucky you. It would be nice to have the management have your back when you are being walked and insulted by some of these jerks. It sure isn't like that where I work. :crying2:

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Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

Most Dons pander to family members and patients and do not care one damn about the nursing staff. If a sign says 2 visitors at a time, family members never honor it, and management doesn't back you up when you want to enforce it. Most family members think we are slaves--blame television, doctors, and management for perpetuating the mistreatment of nurses. Our country is also way too liberal--patients and family members can verbally abuse the staff, all in the name of the first amendment. There is no respect for those who have higher education--family members and patients interrupt doctors and nurses when they are speaking to each other. I wish i could clobber them and tell them, "shut up you cry-baby, how dare you interrupt two professionals, go back to school--then you can interrupt us. You are insignificant and all we are doing is babysitting you and your relatives. How dare you interrupt a doctor."

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I feel you. For the most part, I just smile and fetch whatever it is that someone wants (cups, juice, crackers, blankets), but then sometimes it is so ridiculous. For instance, I bring a family member in a blanket and as I bring it in, they ask for cups. As I retrieve the cups for them, they remember they want a pillow case. It's like DUDE MAKE A LIST OR SOMETHING!! I don't have time to run around all day being a waitress, but that is unfortunately part of the job it seems.

I actually had an odd experience a few weeks ago. I work on a tele floor, but one week the hospital was full and they needed rooms for hysterectomy patients. So, I had this hysterectomy patient and the gynecologist/surgeon came in to remove the packing. He was an older doctor from Italy. As he was leaving, he said, "Now, I want you to get the tech to do peri care...i don't want YOU TO DO IT, I WANT THE TECH TO DO IT~"

I said, "I can do it, it's not a big deal."

"NO, no, no, no. When I came to America from Italy, i was SHOCKED to see nurses carrying trey's, delivering food, and doing the work of a tech. THAT IS NOT YOUR JOB!"

I told him that I am not above doing anything a tech does. He said I need to be doing other things, like communicating with the doctors and meds, etc. I told him yes, but I don't always have a tech to do some of these things. He was like, "THEN THEY NEED TO HIRE SOME MORE!"

DUHH~!!!!

I was just kind of shocked by this since usually it seems a lot of doctors only think of us as the jobs that techs do. It was kind of refreshing, but I was still taken aback by how adamant he was that I DO NOT DO PERI CARE!

So, did you kiss this doc as he was on his way out? I would have! :yeah:

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