My bad attitude

[jessiern]

This might get a little long, and windy. I am sorry. I'm going to start off by explaining last Sunday that I worked, as I feel this is the main problem. It was the 4 or 5 really bad shift for me. We started with 8 patients/nurse (very very extreme for our floor). And ER started calling for admits. The oncall MD was rounding, and I made the offhand comment to him that it was too much to deal with, and I didn't feel it was safe for the patients. This put him in an uproar. Next thing I knew he called the ER doc, informed him he would not except any more admits to our floor, and he also called the admin on call, who he demanded come help us. She had worked the previous night due to call-ins.

Now, the friday before was my yearly eval. I was graded as a "role-model" employee, and my manager offered no compliants at all about my performance. I was also given a 5% raise due to my high quality work. I was also told my co-workers enjoyed working with me, and patients had good things to say about my care.

Now, let's fast forward to Tuesday, my first day at work since "black Sunday" as we are calling it. It is a much better day. Four patients that I can pet and pamper all I want. And I'm happy. At 4pm I was called to the DON's office. There sits the DON, and both assistant managers, including the one that just praised me Friday. These are the things I was told

• "A large majority" of my co-workers on my floor complain about my poor attitude, and state I always complian
  
• "All of the ICU nurse" hate to have to call me about a patient, because I never take care of the situation, and I am rude.
  
• I had received numerous complaints from patients. When I pushed further, they were only able to name one patient's WIFE, who was only in room with the patient for twenty minutes after his admit. She informed me when I first entered the room that we were terrible nurses, and she would be talking to the DON--all before I ever opened my mouth. I immediatly informed management.
  
• I was told the MD from weekend had informed them I was rude, and constantly complianed about the worked load. Well, maybe I was a little ill, and maybe I did complian. So did the other two nurses and everyone else on shift. Who wouldn't complain with 8 patients, 4 total cares, and not a tech in sight to assist?
  
• Also, was informed I had no right to complain about "bad shifts" that were shortstaffed because its wasn't the norm. Those days were to be expected.
  
• Made the comment that "some people will complain if you give them two patients. We think you might be one of those people, and it will not be tolerated".
  
• Also stated "all the unit sec" said I was "snappy" when they called to report patient needs". We only have two sec, and one is my mom. The other says she has never complianed about anyone, much less me.

Now, since then I have spoken to many of my co-workers, including 5 ICU nurses. They have all been shocked by what was said, and stated they have never had a problem with me, and never heard anyone else complain about me. The MD stated he informed them I was "nervous and frazzled" which "wasn't my usual", and he was concerned about the staffing level, and he expressed that he was not happy with them leaving us like that.

Also, I have complained very rarely to management. The only other time I have complianed about staffing was a couple of weeks ago when we had 7 patients with no tech, and the supervisor had not attempted to find any help. Our manager helped us, and I thanked her--we even give them a thank you card for their help.

This just really upsets me. I have always been more then willing to help when I could. I have worked my tail off to be the best I could be, even when shorthanded. And I get along with everyone; I have talked to some about leaving, and they have begged me to stay. I just don't understand why this happened. I felt attacked, and I felt like my character was picked apart. It was very degrading. I have worked there 4 years without a single problem. I'm just a little lost right now.

[leslie :-D]

My point is simply this: If my wife wrote a letter to the paper about issues that could be obviously traced to my work & issues I was having there, I wouldn't like it. Nor would she like it if I did that to her.

and those are the dynamics of your relationship.

i'm not understanding the criticisms massed is receiving.

whatever works for ea couple, i say hallelujah!

who the hell are we to judge how others make it work?

we're not talking about unscrupulous or abusive behaviors.

we're talking about a couple who solicit feedback from the other, when one is struggling.

and if a spouse steps up and makes a statement on behalf of his wife, as well as a very gen'l statement that affects others, more power to them.

dang, you think i'm going to start analyzing the intracasies of ea and every relationship out there, and then determine that it's wrong????

gawd.

let it go.

doesn't work for you, cool.

works for someone else?

that's cool too.

whatever.

leslie

[lamazeteacher]

My point is simply this: If my wife wrote a letter to the paper about issues that could be obviously traced to my work & issues I was having there, I wouldn't like it. Nor would she like it if I did that to her. Race & equality are not exclusive to nursing.

EXACTLY!

Something else about the issue, is the habit (? requirement) of bringing

other manager(s) into a disciplinary meeting. When it happened to me once, I didn't get emotionally upset as I knew that would diminish me, and buy into the stink aimed at me. They tried their best to do that, seeming to have concern about how I felt, which would have done it, if I hadn't been onto their game.

I think that if a Manager tries that on me ever again, I'll ask what it's about; and then say that the meeting needs to be postponed until I have another person there to be with me, - like a state Nursing Association representative, who will remember things said from my point of view. (Hind sight is 20/20) The way it happened to OP'r, was like a "gang bang". I have seen it happen too many times, as that is the MO at many places now, sometimes followed by a paper trail leading to dismissal. It's cruel and unfortunately usual treatment that has been allowed too long!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

and those are the dynamics of your relationship.

i'm not understanding the criticisms massed is receiving.

whatever works for ea couple, i say hallelujah!

who the hell are we to judge how others make it work?

we're not talking about unscrupulous or abusive behaviors.

we're talking about a couple who solicit feedback from the other, when one is struggling.

and if a spouse steps up and makes a statement on behalf of his wife, as well as a very gen'l statement that affects others, more power to them.

dang, you think i'm going to start analyzing the intracasies of ea and every relationship out there, and then determine that it's wrong????

gawd.

let it go.

doesn't work for you, cool.

works for someone else?

that's cool too.

whatever.

leslie

It's very cool that you understand my point of view Sad that others view things from such a narrow perspective and CAN NOT see anything from anyone else's. Even if their experiences are very different from yours. As I believe it was you that wrote in an earlier post: Oy!

A person's story and opinions do not have to be inflammatory to you (just generally speaking and putting it out there to those that are having difficulty with this..). That is someone's journey and experience, not yours.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Do you still feel that way, knowing that he contacted the Nurse Manager?

That created a situation that ticked off all the Nurses there.......and can you imagine many husbands doing what he did every time their spouses get a raw deal?

FYI - I don't know that it ticked off all the nurses - they might have thought "it's about time someone addressed culture and sensitivity in this backa** town." Ha! :chuckle

It was never more applicable than on that floor... it had a reputation for being the floor with the meanest nurses, the rudest nurses, where "only the black nurses" go, and "where you go to die." It really could only get better with the issues that were addressed there, at that time.

[RN1982]

FYI - I don't know that it ticked off all the nurses - they might have thought "it's about time someone addressed culture and sensitivity in this backa** town." Ha! :chuckle

It was never more applicable than on that floor... it had a reputation for being the floor with the meanest nurses, the rudest nurses, where "only the black nurses" go, and "where you go to die." It really could only get better with the issues that were addressed there, at that time.

So what did happen after they all found out about what your husband did? Did the tension on the unit change?

[MassED, BSN, RN]

So what did happen after they all found out about what your husband did? Did the tension on the unit change?

It was never talked about with me. I'm sure they all knew, because the manager had loose lips about everything. The individuals that caused the trouble in the first place (only a few) really did not interact with me, which was wonderful. The ones that I had great relationships with remained that way. Once I left and went to the ER, the reputation remained the same on that unit - so I guess some things will never change.

[bigredrn57]

Dear MassED(interesting moniker):

I guess the patients at that hospital in NC were mostly African American, too. What a rich cultural experience! I take it you've moved elsewhere......

Husbands who are writers are few, and its a gift he gives you, it seems, when he writes something that he hopes will improve your situation. HOWEVER, the females who went before you struggled greatly to push aside those males who went where they thought females feared to go. That kept us down, thinking only males could represent us effectively. That's why government is composed mostly of males, and "good old boys clubs". Cliques are hard to fight.

The next time you chose a new place to live, I'll bet you investigated all aspects of it (not to say a white ghetto is any better than an African American one). You are "blessed" to have someone who loves you so much, he can't stand by while you're made miserable, without letting the whole immediate world know his view of it. It would be better if you collaberated about the action needed, though.

Next time you're in a fix, you could write something, that's from you, taking responsibility for improving your own life

Attitudes like this are why very few men and minorities choose nursing as a profession. Blaming my problems on others can be a way to avoid the real reason--my own attitude. I can see myself as a victim:no: or I can accept what is happening and take responsibility for my actions.

[rnparrot]

it sounds to me like you all work in a hospital setting. i work in ltc and because we have completely different guidelines for staffing etc....out patient load is endless pretty much. currently i have 21 patients to care for, and on night shift add another 12 or so. now granted night shift is a whole other animal...everyone sleeps and the nurse does the paper work and a few meds. but on the other 2 shifts its the nurse and however many aides decide to show up that day.we usually work with either 2 or 3....never any more. my floor is basically a total care floor too, with all feeders!! when we complain to get another aide we hear its not in the budget!!so pretty much everyone where i work has a bad attitude pretty much all the time, especially when we are understaffed. i don't know what a break is, or what its like to use the bathroom until i get home usually...sometimes lucky if i eat dinner, and thats only if i bring it from home! so here i complain about my job for other reasons, and i will get the replies of quit...but...its hard to leave when you really like your residents, because they do get excellent care, and are very appreciative of the workers. i have in my mind a time to leave, and its getting closer, but its not because of the working situation...i will leave when the last of my original residents passes away. so even tho i complain, i really do like my job.:heartbeat

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

It is shocking and sad to see how many nurses have dealt with this.

Management has a plan for any nurse willing to advocate for what is right and speak her opinion.

1. Call them in for a meeting or ambush them at their yearly review with the news that they have a bad attitude and basically no one wants to work with them. This is from many of the staff they work with and keeps coming up. However, no specifics are given and of course, no names.

2. The nurse approaches her fellow coworkers, assuming she/he still has the self esteem to approach them at this point. They look shocked and deny the complaints.

3. The nurse still wonders if everyone dislikes her and doesn't want to work with her. After all, management told her so.

4. The nurse has two choices. Continue at current position, but keep her head down and mouth shut or get another job.

5. Either way, problem solved.

Very eloquently spoken...and moving.

I have to come up with a "Plan of Correction" by Monday morning because of this same issue. If I put down in writing that I "agree" with someone else's assessment that I have a "bad attitude" (which I DON'T), then I am admitting that I am at fault and and allowing this epitaph to be placed in my personnel file. If I refuse to admit fault, they just may fire me anyway.

The only thing I am guilty of is speaking the truth.

[BelleKat, BSN, RN]

I know what you are saying, so please don't take this as a crack on your comment in any way, but it truly saddens and nauseates me that "so many outstanding nurses have had to deal with this". Long gone are the days where we can do what's right for the people who count--our patients. Patient care, patient advocacy are such simple concepts that have been soiled by malpractice lawyers, HMOs, bean counting mgmt. and admin, JOKO, etc.

All we want to do is help sick people get better so we can get them back with their families, back to their jobs, back to their children, back to their grandchildren, back to their husband, back to their wives; we want to make differences in our patient's lives; and although we do succeed perhaps most of the time, perhaps rarely or perhaps somewhere in between, we have every entity out there butting heads with us every time we step onto our floor, providing lip service to us to care and advocate, but fighting us tooth and nail when we try to do what is right, what is good.

And then when things go wrong, we are blamed, we are made to feel inadequate, we are driven to a state of paranoia, we are driven to the point where we become eachother's worse enemy. Every single negative thing that can go wrong is a result of our error, lack of judgement, our missed assessment, our inability to catch someone else's error, etc. It's our fault and we are expected to accept this as a fact of life. We are to accept the interference from these entities; their nonstop pushing against our every caring effort. Such a simple concept--possibly the simplest part of health care--and yet the reality is that it is ever so close to being impossible. Yep, sickens me, indeed.

It makes me so upset to see how so many are being treated,DIVIDE and CONQUER seems to be how they treat everybody. Here I was thinking that my situation was unique and it was pretty much exactly what happened to the OP and that's why I got out of nursing although I love being a nurse very much. You cannot be a nurse,care for your pts safely and appropriately when management is having you work short.

They have ruined the practice of medicine as we know it by appling a business model to it when it cannot work that way. It's all about money and numbers that don't vary when health care is not something that can be controlled in this way.

Hospitals and health care settings pretty much hire nurses as a warm body to 'do your work under whatever situation and don't complain or we'll ruin your reputation to get rid of you and hire another". We have no one to back us up. Ideally that would be a union but the ones we have seem to be in bed with management already and that makes it that much worse. Until we stop working under these circumstances,without endangering pts(I don't know how that will work). I don't see it changing. Because we keep leaving and someone else just shows up in our place until they get someone who will put up with it and they are quick to scapegoat and persecute that person if something untoward happens or if they complain.

Sheesh,how depressing.

[Abbies]

I'm not suggesting you do this but if it were me I would:

think it is hard for facilities to retain good experienced nurses. I would:

take my stellar evaluation and my resume to a better environment and ask them not to contact my current employer because I didn't want my employer to be upset by the fact that I was looking for an opportunity to enhance my career and learn new skills.

Facilities don't seem to understand why they can't hold onto their nurses. No explanation would be necessary when I submited my resignation.