Misogyny in Nursing - Page 2

How do you feel about the message conveyed on the book Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughters Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence. (The movie Mean Girls, was based on the book.)

The premise is that girls are much more skilled at emotional manipulation than boys are — boys are fairly clueless and emotionally simple in comparison. They tend to settle matters through physical means. While a boy can punch another boy in the nose, a girl can scheme to destroy another girl's entire social life.

That's not my opinion. It's just my very superficial summary of the book.

Another superficial idea: Women become accustomed to stabbing one another in the back as they vie for the attention of men, and that habit carries forward even when there are no men around. It's a primitive drive, the same sort of thing that drives men to have fist fights.

Hrrrm....I have worked in people oriented jobs all my life. And there are catty, rude women - but there are rude men. I would say that rude women offend me more because as females I feel a kinship. But having a woman with clearly more money than me refuse to touch my hand and ignore me talking to her about something important is very hurtful.

I dont hate women, but they do discourage me as a person more so than a male.

Hope this makes sense.

Before I became a nursing assistant, then nurse, my only two jobs had been in construction and a moving company. I had had almost no female coworkers. Since coming to nursing, I obviously work mostly with women. Now, I would never make comments like RubyVee posted in the first post there. But, I don't think I'm misogynistic to say that, in general, women are much more emotional than men. Working with men and working with women are two very different experiences. How could they NOT be?? I wouldn't say it's been unpleasant or anything, but it HAS been an adjustment for me. Coworkers being so open about their feelings and their personal lives still makes me uncomfortable. I worked with guys for YEARS in my old job, and still knew very little about them. Can't say the same as a nurse. And I had to change how I act and talk, too. I learned quick that I couldn't use even a fraction of the language and "dirty" humor I used before with my new female coworkers. Not even in the break room. Women really are more sensitive to this stuff. Guys tend to think it's funny, women not so much. As for the other stuff, the stress and the backstabbing in nursing, I attribute that more to the nature of the work than to gender....

I don't hate, dislike, or mistrust women as a gender. And I don't generalize about women's behavior. But I do observe and have experienced that (some) women do actively and deliberately, overtly or covertly, undermine certain other women by their words and/or actions. Whether the women who undermine certain other women are motivated by hate, dislike or mistrust of women in general (misogyny), or other emotions such as insecurity, fear, envy, the desire to bully, etc., must I think be determined individually in each case. But I think the exact reasons why some women actively undermine certain other women is not as important as the fact that this behavior happens. Throughout my life I have personally observed and experienced this kind of behavior in school, recreational sports, the workplace, and numerous other venues where women are present. This behavior is often, though not always present, in my experience, whether the women present are few in number, or many, and happens whether or not the opposite sex is present.

I agree with you that women generalizing about women in a way that is derogatory does women no favors. I wonder though if the examples of women putting other women down that you mention are cases of true misogyny (hate, dislike or mistrust of women) presumably in general, or if they are really instances where the individuals doing the putting down are reacting because they either feel threatened, are actually being threatened/subjected to certain women's undermining behavior, or have in the past been undermined by certain women.

But yes, I agree with you that some women, as well as some men, do actively undermine women (my experience and observation is that often, but not always, certain women are selected to be undermined).

It's interesting to see the difference between my work environment and hobbies, which are dominated by men,
and my nursing school program, which is obviously mostly women faculty and students. The men tend to bond more
over activity and less talking, women tend to be more intense emotionally and much more verbal. I wish I had
more of the other gender in wherever I am at the moment, to provide more of a balanced experience.

And I also agree that nursing will produce a high emotional state at times, due to the high stress and value of what is at stake- human lives.

I must say when I read comments about why the nursing field is this or that, because women dominate the field I have chuckeld to myself! See, I worked in a factory of mostly men and let me tell you there were the men who gossiped, the men who back stabbed, the men who were jealous of the good looking men who dated the pretty women of the factory and spread some mean and nasty things about those men out of jealousy. There were men who cheated on their wives with the women at the factory, there were men who were genuinely nice peole who stayed out of all the crap and were decent to almost everyone. My whole point is, there was a heck of alot of drama in that factory of mostly men! so when I hear women say they rather work with mostly men, I just smile and think ha, been there done that...;-)

I'm perfectly ok with being labelled a misogynist, if anyone feels the need. The reality is, women have, as a group, been socialized in certain ways. Some have positive consequences, some have negative consequences. The same goes for countless other groups, and, while I appreciate feminism, I'm not willing to throw sociology, evolutionary theory, psychology, or simple observation out the window for fear of being chastised for the same broad generalizations that take place non stop on this board toward other groups. Men, younger generations, new nurses, older nurses, etc etc.