LATERAL Violence. How Nurses treat Nurses! - Page 19

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  1. Jun 30, '09 by
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    to: strongwilled, regarding your post # 76

    it sounds like the issues of the new lpn can be mitigated somewhat by kindness. see what you can do about showing concern about her pregnancy, offering to lift items that weigh more than 10 pounds, for her. if you get everyone to do that, she'll feel more included and cared about, and her attitude may soften toward others.

    the fact that she forgot that the med she referred to as missed, could be due to her baby having kicked her, at the time the information about it being ordered less than 10 min. before was said in report. that's pretty distracting. cut her some slack and she may return the favor. model the behavior you want for her. miracles do happen......

    i hope the nurses give her a baby shower! remember the old honey rather than vinegar theory (as well as turning the other cheek).
    i'm not sure if you're actually at the bedside, but pregnancy is not a disability. most busy units and busy floors do not have the staffing these days to allow someone to follow a nasty, mean-spirited lpn around to volunteer to do her lifting for her in the hopes that she will then feel cared about and soften her attitude toward others. and perhaps her baby kicking her would make her forget the med -- but that doesn't account for her "writing up" the missed med as a tragedy of epic proportions.


    canigraduate, Scrubby, leslie :-D, and 2 others like this.
  2. Jun 30, '09 by
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    To: strongwilled, regarding your post # 76

    It sounds like the issues of the new LPN can be mitigated somewhat by kindness. See what you can do about showing concern about her pregnancy, offering to lift items that weigh more than 10 pounds, for her. If you get everyone to do that, she'll feel more included and cared about, and her attitude may soften toward others.

    The fact that she forgot that the med she referred to as missed, could be due to her baby having kicked her, at the time the information about it being ordered less than 10 min. before was said in report. That's pretty distracting. Cut her some slack and she may return the favor. Model the behavior you want for her. Miracles do happen......

    I hope the nurses give her a baby shower! Remember the old honey rather than vinegar theory (as well as turning the other cheek).
    Actually, she refuses to lift, or do anything but sit at desk and tell others what call light is going off, which is odd that she expects to not have to work as 3 or 4 others on that shift are pregnant as well. She was given a shower and actually made derogatory comments about the gifts to the givers faces....Her aunt is our unit secretary, and says that she gets this attitude of "better than everyone else" from her mom, who acts the same way. If this was something just related to pregnancy, I could get over it, but she has acted this way to rest of staff since day 1, and others who have known her all her life says this is typical behavior, just no one has ever stood up to her before. Again, not normal for me to act this way, but my dept director says perhaps this will nip her attitude in the bud at work....
  3. Jun 30, '09 by
    Quote from ruby vee
    i'm not sure if you're actually at the bedside, but pregnancy is not a disability. most busy units and busy floors do not have the staffing these days to allow someone to follow a nasty, mean-spirited lpn around to volunteer to do her lifting for her in the hopes that she will then feel cared about and soften her attitude toward others. and perhaps her baby kicking her would make her forget the med -- but that doesn't account for her "writing up" the missed med as a tragedy of epic proportions.


    this is exactly the case, we're a busy med surg unit, with others at various stages of pregnancy who work their buns off while she sits around and demands to be catered to according to other night shifters.
    RN1982 likes this.
  4. Jun 30, '09 by
    she had it coming.
  5. Jun 30, '09 by
    Heh...

    If I were a director in the situation described above and staffing could accommodate, I'd axe the whole lot of 'em for failing to maintain professionalism.

    It's easy to pass judgment and act out of malice in the workplace when your think you can get away with it. Or because you have seniority...But everyone makes a mistake at one time or another and when they do, those who were so damning of others often hope like hell those people don't return the favor.

    Sooner or later, everyone pays consequences for their actions. Better not to burn your bridges while you're standing on them...
    Last edit by metal_m0nk on Jun 30, '09
  6. Jun 30, '09 by
    actually i think the LPN is the one guilty of lateral violence....geesh, to the point of lying! (the false report) frankly i think that should have gotten her fired!
    RN1982 likes this.
  7. Jul 4, '09 by
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    To: strongwilled, regarding your post # 76

    It sounds like the issues of the new LPN can be mitigated somewhat by kindness. See what you can do about showing concern about her pregnancy, offering to lift items that weigh more than 10 pounds, for her. If you get everyone to do that, she'll feel more included and cared about, and her attitude may soften toward others.

    The fact that she forgot that the med she referred to as missed, could be due to her baby having kicked her, at the time the information about it being ordered less than 10 min. before was said in report. That's pretty distracting. Cut her some slack and she may return the favor. Model the behavior you want for her. Miracles do happen......

    I hope the nurses give her a baby shower! Remember the old honey rather than vinegar theory (as well as turning the other cheek).
    Huh? I'm sorry, but I have been pregnant with 2 babies, one weighing over 10 lbs and one at 11 lbs at birth and each 22 inches in length. Even at that size, when I was 'kicked', it didn't jar me so much as to make me forget things or lose my train of thought mid-sentence. I think this is far-fetched.

    I do agree with the honey vs. vinegar theory and I do believe in killing them with kindness, but to say that being pregnant warrants special treatment (aside from what is physically too demanding) is too much.

    Relating to the original post---I have found that a direct approach to immature behavior (such as gossip, bullying, etc.) has worked best. Any time I feel like I have been spoken to in an inappropriate manner, for example, I keep eye contact and say something like "I'm sorry, what?" If they repeat what they said, I continue to say "Please do not speak to me in that way." Simple, direct and polite.
    Last edit by back2thebooks on Jul 4, '09
    canigraduate and RN1982 like this.
  8. Jul 4, '09 by
    Quote from MedSurgeMess
    I actually committed an act of "violence" against one of my coworkers the other day, but considering the scenario, and thanks from many coworkers, I think it was justified--if lateral violence can ever be called justified. I will add that I am usually very direct, but my coworkers know that I'm not mean spirited, but I am honest, and they do appreciate that.

    A LPN on our unit with <1 yr experience has this attitude of being better/smarter than everyone else, even our dept director who has had many talks with her about this and the effects on coworkers, etc. She writes incident reports like they're going out of style, and writes people up over the pettiest of reasons. And if anyone says anything that upsets her, she says, "you can't speak to me like that because I'm pregnant, and I AM married to a preacher." so what.......

    The other day, she wrote up the RN that I was precepting--her last day of being precepted--for not giving a med. But I guess that she forgot that in report that we told her and her partner that pharmacy hadn't brought said med yet because order just written 10 min before shift change. She told my preceptee, "are you totally dumb, I mean, I'm smart enough to give a med." I mentioned that we had told her that in report, and she said, "too late, I already wrote her up, maybe she'll learn a lesson." I told her to calm her tone, and she just rolled her eyes and left. Next thing I know, house supervisor is asking my partner what the deal is, because apparently this nitwit from the previous shift called her on the way out, mentioned the incident report and write up, making it sound like the preceptee had all but murdered the patient. After investigating and talking to pharmacy and getting the whole story, she wrote up the LPN for writing false report and told me to write her up for attitude. When she came in that night, I let her know that she had been written up and what for. She starts yelling in the nurses station "you can't do this to me, I'm preg-" which I cut her off with "yes I can, and yes I did, and BTW, if I ever hear of you talking to ANY coworker in a condescending tone, I will write you up again" in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear. I heard from night shift that all night, she just continued on about how mean I was to her. A couple of them even thanked me, thinking that she might just cut out writing everyone up now that she knows how it feels....I really don't like getting this "mean" with someone, just got tired of hearing how she acts towards everyone and gloats about it.....I hope that I don't have to do so again for awhile.

    Oh NO! This is definately NOT lateral violence on your part. The pregnant LPN was totally out of line. Her behavior was a very clear example of the carnivorous behavior which is so damaging to the professional developement of the new hire and the moral of the enitre unit. You acted in an extrememly appropriate manner. Thank you so much on be half of all NEW and fairly new nurses. Your unit is very lucky to have you and with any luck maybe the offender will learn something too!

    Mahage
  9. Jul 4, '09 by
    Quote from lamazeteacher
    To: strongwilled, regarding your post # 76

    It sounds like the issues of the new LPN can be mitigated somewhat by kindness. See what you can do about showing concern about her pregnancy, offering to lift items that weigh more than 10 pounds, for her. If you get everyone to do that, she'll feel more included and cared about, and her attitude may soften toward others.

    The fact that she forgot that the med she referred to as missed, could be due to her baby having kicked her, at the time the information about it being ordered less than 10 min. before was said in report. That's pretty distracting. Cut her some slack and she may return the favor. Model the behavior you want for her. Miracles do happen......

    I hope the nurses give her a baby shower! Remember the old honey rather than vinegar theory (as well as turning the other cheek).

    Lamaze, I think maybe you misread the post. Please read it again.

    Mahage
  10. Jul 6, '09 by
    I am currently a nursing student who has been the victim of lateral bullying not only from RNs on clinical floors but frankly from some RN instructors (I don't care what anyone says humiliation, and bullying are not now and have never been, effective teaching tools.) Bullying is a very real problem in nursing and it is one of the reasons that so many people who get through nursing school leave the profession!
    And maybe that's the key here. Nursing is a profession that struggles with image. We (well, I will be eventually) are highly skilled technicians, we are also friends mothers, lovers and people. We are expected to be able to hang an IV, give a med, listen to our patient's fears, act as confessor for some and assure families all while being belittled by doctors, techs, and each other!
    Time for a change at some really fundamental levels I think. I have never 'asked' to be bullied either by lacking back bone, or by sending out a 'vibe' but I have been. I have been patient when these situations arise and often do try to think about why some one is behaving a certain way, but when it is a repeated pattern I have to acknowledge this is about them. Its about power and self esteem and all the rest of the motivations, BUT it has no place in a professional environment!
    As long as we worry about whether psychological abuse, abuse of power and threats are really 'violence', lateral or any other kind, we don't have to acknowledge the greater issue. Its wrong! Simply wrong and none of us should accept it.
    We have a nursing shortage, we have a image problem and we should be paid more, with greater managerial support and on and on... and we will be expected to contemplate all this while juggling IVs, meds, pts and our own lives... don't we have enough to deal with?
    Don't like having a student take one of your patient's? Them discuss it with the instructor or your manager... I am a student I don't make the assignments! Don't like your co-worker... then use those critical thinking skills and acknowledge that this is work, and all interpersonal problems should be handled in a professional manner, not by resorting to the sort of behavior most primary schools have a zero tolerance policey for!
    Nurses are incredible. Nurses are skilled, dedicated and well educated people (I know I am making sweeping generalizations here) but we need to stop ******** at each other and start making some real progress in cleaning up our acts. Because if we do not respect ourselves and each other them why should anyone else, like doctors, patients, the general public, policy makers or even those who write our contracts.
    canigraduate, trixie333, and Mahage like this.