Is your colleague a mind reader? Or just plain lazy

[madwife2002]

Everybody around me at work reacts to situations by becoming angry, retaliatory, vindictive and mean. Nobody I work with and I mean nobody I work with looks at the whole picture with their work colleague they automatically presume that their co-worker is out to get them!

I cannot count how many times over the past three years that one of my employees has accused their colleague of being lazy, not helping them and has watched them struggle with a heavy work load. Now while there are minorities that do fit into this category but there are a lot of RN's who aren't lazy and will go above and beyond to support their coworker.

When I question the accuser if they asked their colleague to help them, 9 times out of 10 they say no, that the RN or Aid should just know that they are struggling. Now call me strange but how on earth does somebody really know their co-worker is struggling unless they tell them. Unless my co-workers are mind readers! How can they possibly know that somebody needs help?

I advise the accuser that in the future they should ask for help, and if the help is not forthcoming then first ascertain that the person they are asking is not run off their feet themselves and cannot help or they just don't want to help out. If at that time they feel that the person is deliberately unwilling to help them out then I will step into the picture and investigate.

What I cannot do is put another RN on trial for not helping out when nobody bothered to ask this person for help. I often hear during these conversations that now they didn't receive help that they will not help anybody else in the future. My response to this statement is 'well then you are part of the problem' which gets them thinking! It is a vicious circle if they won't help me, then I won't help them, and one of them will visit me to tale tattle on the other.

I can honestly hold my hand on my heart and tell you all that there is not one person in my unit who is beyond reproach. Every single member of staff without exception has been in my office to complain about somebody else. Every single member of staff has been accused of something by somebody else.

If I reacted to every single thing I am told, I would spend my whole day every day placing somebody into discipline. There has not been a day in the past few years that a complaint has been made about another member of staff, and do you know if you get both people in a room and ask them to tell you what happened there are two different stories, two different perspectives and one solution! Normally they end up with an understanding of what went wrong and wounded souls are repaired.

Not one member of staff has a hidden agenda, they want to do a good job and succeed. I work with a fantastic group of people, each and every member of staff is valuable and has a lot to offer.

My job now is to support them, educate them, improve their team working skills and help them have a happy work life. I believe by giving them the tools and support they can become the best. I know that we all have to work on communication skills!

Remember before you run to your manager; ask yourselves 'are you part of the problem?' Did you ask for help? Or do you think your coworker is a mind reader and just knows you are struggling? If they refused to help you, was it because they are struggling themselves, or was it really because they are being downright mean!

Also what is your objective to taking your complaint to your manager, do you want them to react or do you just want to vent?

[lhome, ASN, RN]

Fear! From my experience, asking for help is usually time consuming in itself. Finding someone that is not as busy as you is usually the case. I was accused by a nursing assistant that I was dumping when I asked him to do something for me once. He was a gossip and trouble maker. I would find him talking in rooms with another employee far from his post. I use to ask myself how could a staff member such as this possibly think I was dumping when I had no break. I would find my patients personal needs not met and do them myself. After calculating the time a patient sits in their own feces, the time it takes to get assistance, and the time difference when I waited, I saw no hope. Many of these problems can be solved with proper management. Someone has to take the bull by the horn. Nurses on the floor have no time for such nonsense. A good supervisor will address it in meetings and get out on the floor and observe. A little team work would help too. Set an example!

People that are complaining constantly? Your solution is you. As a manger, you should know the pace of your unit and its challenges. Facilitating a teamwork atmosphere and try facilitating an atmosphere of compassion for each of your employees for each other. This is a key role of all nurses. Without it, our care is cold and the attitude of the unit rubs off on the patients.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I love the nurses who complete all their work on four easy walkie talkies while laughing/comaining at the nurses who cant handle their own assignment of 4bed ridden complete care trachs and pegs and q30 orders if some sort. yes this has happened often

[nurseladybug12]

I think it is really sad that many medical professionals do not believe in teamwork and have a "fend for yourself" attitude. I wonder how you treat your patients!

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I have been working for about 18 months, and I have never gone running to mommy about colleagues or anything for that matter. Your employees need to grow the **** up.

Also, I've never been a nurse manager, so take this with a grain of salt or contemplate it. Your choice. If this happens often, maybe some root-cause analysis about the culture of the unit needs to be done. Because you are the leader, some changes can start with how you handle the complainers and what you do with the results of your root-cause analysis.

[nurse4sale]

I think it is really sad that many medical professionals do not believe in teamwork and have a "fend for yourself" attitude. I wonder how you treat your patients!

It is a shame, nurseladybug12, but it's not like that in every profession. Take the doctors for instance. Not only do they have each others backs, you never hear them talk bad about one another like the nurses do. Some nurses just never grew-up past grade school.

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

I have been working for about 18 months, and I have never gone running to mommy about colleagues or anything for that matter. Your employees need to grow the **** up.

Also, I've never been a nurse manager, so take this with a grain of salt or contemplate it. Your choice. If this happens often, maybe some root-cause analysis about the culture of the unit needs to be done. Because you are the leader, some changes can start with how you handle the complainers and what you do with the results of your root-cause analysis.

What you say is very true, except where I work it has been a slow process of 2 steps forward 1 step back.

In the past couple of years we have made great strides if I look back at the whole picture. We are just not where we need to be yet.

If I could just focus on the culture it would be great, but there is a much larger picture outside the man management aspect.

I encourage each member of staff to look at themselves and decide what they can do to make a change because you can only change your own behaviors.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

If you are getting daily complaints on nurses by nurses, then this is an issue that needs to be addressed in a staff meeting with all present. And as a manager whos job, in part, is to foster a better team--bring it to them. Include the CNA's in this as well, and the clerks. "what can you do, what will you do, I expect that you do" What ideas do they have? Are the assignments evenly divided? Would it be feasible to have partners--2 nurses who help each other, spot for breaks, lunch breaks that type of thing? Have you worked your floor? If you have not, then this is another way to look at how the floor runs itself, and a better understanding of where things go awry. Include CNA's in group report. Everyone has a game plan. You could round and be present and sure that all are doing what they need to for patient safety and care. If you have a charge nurse (especially one who doesn't take an assignment) what can that person do to help if your partners are both busy with a patient? Once everyone is on the same page of the needs of the floor, and it can vary day to day, patient to patient, perhaps it is then easier to say "what can I do for you right now, I have a few minutes". When everything becomes a critical emergency all at once, then is when stress becomes overwhelming. Your charge nurses need to be pro-active. With all due respect, you need to be pro-active. Make assignments according to strengths, partnerships that compliment each other, and if you are an IV expert, rapid response proficient, or have a keen eye on subtle changes in condition, be part of your team. Often people will bring things to managers that they don't feel the managers are well informed on. Be present, be absolutely clear on chain of command, what to do if you are in the weeds, and who your go to people are. If the employees are empowered to problem solve independently, then they most often are more willing to do so.

[amygarside]

Sometimes peopel assume that you know what their thinking , which is not the case all the time. Hopefully we can make them understand that they need to speak up to be heard.

[SCSTxRN]

When I worked acute care, I noticed that there were three groups of people who were consistently behind:

- Newbies

- Smokers

- Gossipers

Everyone gets slammed from time to time, but these three categories were ALWAYS behind. My response varied according to what I saw and what I was asked to do.

I'd always get a pump, whether to replenish IV solution, flush a line, or disconnect. I'd always answer a call light, unless I was in the middle of my own patient care. With the newbies, I'd help them do pretty much anything they asked. With the other two groups, I had to be completely not busy to add to my load. I had coworkers spending 2 out of 12 hours on smoke breaks, and there were days I didn't get a lunch... team work does not flourish in such an environment.

[chicagonurse89]

I think everyone should just have good communication skills, initiative and common sense! good communication skills to convey to others that you already need help, and not just assume that they can read your mind; initiative and common sense to offer help even if you're not asked to.. Especially if you already saw that your co-worker is already struggling