innappropriate/weird encounters with patients? - page 2

i was just wondering what everyones weird/ innappropriate encounters with patients where as a nurse (Ex. people touching you weirdly, saying innappropriate things thing you, stuff like that) im in... Read More

  1. Visit  DizzyLizzyNurse profile page
    2
    I met a resident who had known my grandfather. So I went to visit him (he was in a different unit) and I said, "Hello, my name is ____." He recognized my last name right away and we started talking about my grandfather. He didn't know he had passed away a couple years prior. So I said, "Ok I'll see you later," thinking what a nice guy. Then he said, "You know, if you bent down a little more I could under your shirt and see your t*ts." WTH! I said good bye quickly and left. And yes, he was a pervert to the staff to the very end. Everyone said he had dementia but he once grabbed my butt and winked and I said, "You know I don't think my grandfather would really approve of that. What do you think?" And he actually never did it to me again.

    I also had another resident's son who was very nice and used to talk to me sometimes when he came to visit. It was always normal conversation until one time started saying it had been awhile since he'd "gotten some" and he was depressed about it. I've never been so glad to hear a chair alarm go off, saving me from coming up with an answer for that one!

    And waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many more to type up right now.
  2. Visit  brandyrn03 profile page
    6
    I have to agree with JenniferSews on this one. The healthcare worker shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in this situation. The situation could probably be handled in such a way that both people get what they need. The older gentleman gets his private time to take care of his needs, and the healthcare worker doesn't have to be in a situation that she feels is awkward/inappropriate.

    I can't say I understand the nurses who would be "highly disgusted" or "offended" at this behavior. If I understand the story it sounds like the resident probably did not have the mental faculties necessary to discriminate between what is appropriate and what is not. It's not like he grabbed the aid or said offensive things to her. He just masturbated. He touched his own self. You are acting like he pulled out a severed cat head or something. For Pete's sake, we're all human. We all need to be touched and feel loved. My guess is that it had been a very long time since he had any kind of loving human contact. Remember, all behavior has meaning. Being disgusted or offended just puts up barriers to understanding the behavior. I don't think the resident should have to feel ashamed for having needs that (let's face it) all the rest of us have. He just doesn't have the privacy of his own home.
  3. Visit  bigrigcowboy profile page
    3
    Quote from bookworm78910
    I had a situation in nursing school that was sort of sad, understandable and could be seen as inappropriate. I had a male patient during my LTC rotation that started masturbating while I and a female CNA were giving him a shower.

    As a man myself, I can empathize with a long-married man who still has sexual feelings, but no intimate contact with his wife, and no privacy in his shared room. I acted as if it was normal and didn't react, but the CNA offered him a wash cloth, and was clearly uncomfortable with it. Personally, the only thing that made this situation mildly inappropriate, was that it made the aide self-conscious. However, I'd hope that if she stays in the business very long, she'll get over it, because I doubt it was the last time she encounters that, as sexuality does not expire just because you age.

    Very good response. I would have provided the aide the opportunity to excuse herself if it was safe to do so. Sorry y'all, men masturbate in showers in their homes and LTC is their home.
    teeniebert, sharonp30, and ObtundedRN like this.
  4. Visit  RescueNinja profile page
    0
    Quote from grouchybuthappy
    I ALWAYS wear a tight undershirt with my scrubs. I have seen way too many grinning faces when i lean over to listen to heart sounds and BS. I only became aware when a non cardiac patient repeatedly requested that i listen to their heart "once more" to make sure everything was fine. ( brand new nurse me.. took me 3 trips to realize it)
    I am a H cup and this has happened to me too. Unfortunately tight undershirts don't work as well as I'd like so I pretty much have to wear high-neck undershirts and even then when I bend down you can pretty much see it all!
  5. Visit  Cinquefoil profile page
    2
    I work in LTC

    1) Resident used to crap himself EXPRESSLY so that we could wipe him off, then lay there as we did with a big goofy grin and a you-know-what. He miraculously regained the ability to toilet himself when he got banned from having female caregivers.

    2) Resident sitting on toilet as Aide put his new briefs on, when she was bent forward doing this task, suddenly pulled her head towards his junk.

    3) Yet another resident, known for groping almost ALL female staff, administrators included, put his hand on one caregiver's thigh, and suggested they "do something else". "Is it appropriate?" "I dunno." "Is it something you'd ask your granddaughter to do?"

    He had to THINK about it

    Then said, "I *guess* not"
    sharonp30 and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
  6. Visit  ObtundedRN profile page
    4
    I think my best story comes from when I worked EMS. Went to a very obese man's home for lifting assistance. He fell on the ground and couldn't get back up into his chair. We walk in to find him on all fours, naked in his living room, and had a BM on himself. I died laughing when he asked my partner "Could you do me a favor, would you mind wiping my a**?"

    OH, and he also told the black firefighter to watch out for one of his tiny dogs because it was racist.
  7. Visit  MomRN0913 profile page
    1
    Quote from Cinquefoil
    I work in LTC

    1) Resident used to crap himself EXPRESSLY so that we could wipe him off, then lay there as we did with a big goofy grin and a you-know-what. He miraculously regained the ability to toilet himself when he got banned from having female caregivers.

    2) Resident sitting on toilet as Aide put his new briefs on, when she was bent forward doing this task, suddenly pulled her head towards his junk.

    3) Yet another resident, known for groping almost ALL female staff, administrators included, put his hand on one caregiver's thigh, and suggested they "do something else". "Is it appropriate?" "I dunno." "Is it something you'd ask your granddaughter to do?"

    He had to THINK about it

    Then said, "I *guess* not"
    Just wondering, is this acceptable because they are still sexual beings?

    Actually, I had this patient with really bad colitis and other nice Bowel problems. awake alert and oriented, but in the ICU because of hypotension. He would crap about 10 times a shift, and rudely call the nurse and say "come clean me" He could move just fine. Well, while I was on one side of him cleaning him he was laying the other way eating a babe Ruth candy bar!!! This is wrong for 2 reasons. 1) the most wrong things to eat for colitis is peanuts, and obviously 2) if youc ane at a candy bar, you can most certinaly wipe your own ass! After I changed his whole bed, and I was piping his butt again, he ws trying to drink his snapple that was bright red. I yelled and said 'If you spill that all over your sheets after i just changed them, I will not be changing them againf or a very long time, I suggest you drink when I am done wiping your ass"

    GRRRRRRR
    Not_A_Hat_Person likes this.
  8. Visit  MomRN0913 profile page
    2
    Quote from bigrigcowboy
    Very good response. I would have provided the aide the opportunity to excuse herself if it was safe to do so. Sorry y'all, men masturbate in showers in their homes and LTC is their home.

    Yes, they masturbate ALONE in their showers. not while other people are assisiting them care for themselves. There are plenty of times these patient are alone int heir rooms and can whack away. Sorry, sometimes your right to jack off in the shower is gone when others have to shower you. i am seriously disgusted that pleasuring yourself is acceptable infront of others are working to get you clean when you can't do it yourself! Geeze, if you can pleasure yourself, you can wash yourself. He should have asked ot be left alone.
    Not_A_Hat_Person and Skips like this.
  9. Visit  mazy profile page
    2
    Quote from MomRN0913
    Geeze, if you can pleasure yourself, you can wash yourself. He should have asked ot be left alone.
    Good point. If he had all of his faculties intact I would wonder how he would think such behavior is appropriate. Do men normally masturbate in semi-public showers when other people are standing around watching them? I think I missed that lesson in sex ed.

    If he had cognitive deficits I think you have to consider it a dignity issue -- would he have felt comfortable being observed doing that when he had all of his wits about him. We deal with this where I work, I don't feel all that upset about it, it is a normal activity, but I do feel bad for the patients who are too confused to get themselves to a private place. We just do our best to redirect them.
    Not_A_Hat_Person and TDCHIM like this.
  10. Visit  MomRN0913 profile page
    0
    Yes, I agree, if it was a cognitive matter, he should have been redirected to please stop, or when he is alone he may continue on with such activites. Idon't think an CNA should accept this as a part of her job.
  11. Visit  Ev1987 profile page
    5
    Quote from MomRN0913
    You seriously think it's appropriate and expected behavior for a guy to masturbate in front of heathcare workers while they are trying to help him because he still has sexual feelings? I guess then it's appropriate for a guy to whip it out in public and start whacking off because he has an urge? Come on now. It should be the last time she ever excounters that, beause if a pt tried that in front of me, I would tell him how highly innappropriate that is and if he wants ot masturbate, he an do that in private. You view on this is disturbing.
    I can only reply to this as a cna working in ltc. I have encountered residents masturbating, and I was trained that you leave the resident alone and give them privacy at this time. Yet, I was also trained that under no circumstances am I allowed to leave a resident alone in the shower room by themselves. If I was in this scenario, I would ask the resident once to stop masturbating in my presence, and that it is deemed unappropriate. If he continues, then I would simply continue my task of giving him a shower, and move on. But I've dealt with many residents who suffer from dementia and others with a loss of cognitive ability. Sometimes, you can repeat yourself a million times to them, and they just won't 'get it'. Their thought process and how they perceive information is not the same as ours. It's a possibility that he is stuck in his own 'zone' while masturbating, and completely tunes everything and everyone out until he is finished. I don't believe that anyone who can 'pleasure themselves can wash themselves'. Especially, in my facility. I have resident's who can stand, yet not walk. I have resident's that can lift their arm, but not bend it. I have resident's that can talk, but not speak coherently. I do believe that everyone's mental and physical ailment can be unique, although, at times similiar.
    catlvr, caregiver1977, gentlegiver, and 2 others like this.
  12. Visit  exnavygirl-RN profile page
    0
    Anyone who has been a nurse for awhile will have their own stories and their own way of managing certain behaviors. I have had several dementia patients attempt to masturbate in front of me. I would just leave the patient room and shut the door. If they were a psych patient trying to shock me I would just explain to them that the behavior is not acceptable and I'm not impressed.
  13. Visit  Ruas61 profile page
    1
    Quote from momrn0913
    yes, they masturbate alone in their showers. not while other people are assisiting them care for themselves. there are plenty of times these patient are alone int heir rooms and can whack away. sorry, sometimes your right to jack off in the shower is gone when others have to shower you. i am seriously disgusted that pleasuring yourself is acceptable infront of others are working to get you clean when you can't do it yourself! geeze, if you can pleasure yourself, you can wash yourself. he should have asked ot be left alone.
    if they lack the mental facilities to distinguish between masturbation in an appropriate setting, its not a far stretch that they may lack the ability to perform a cleansing task. the physical acts are not exactly the same and the cognitive component is not the same. masturbation may not be sexual in nature at all- it may be an act of 'comfort' for some fpolks. it feels good and is calming.
    JoyfulNurseLPN likes this.

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