I am an American.

Nurses Relations

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In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

Specializes in med/surg and adult critical care.

I have had good and bad experiences with these types of doctors. Does this doctor probably care for his patients or is he mad because he does not know how to care for his patients and the nurses suggest things because he is not doing his job. Just some thoughts. I guess when I suggested to a doctor (like the one in the opening post) an endotracheal tube for a patient who suddenly stopped breathing I was too assertive. This doc has "nurse suggestion" issues...I could care less about his issue as long as we work together to take excellent care of the patient.

Specializes in Psych.

To avert your eyes and 'not be assertive' is to behave SUBMISSIVELY. The women of this country have spent nearly 50 years striving to eradicate this kind of crap in the American workplace and now folks are trying to bring it back under the cloak of 'cultural sensitivity'?

If you all head down this road, where will it stop? What if a Dr. from Japan were to join the staff? Would he be offended if the nurses here refused to serve him tea?

This is just wrong...

Specializes in Psych.
To avert your eyes and 'not be assertive' is to behave SUBMISSIVELY. The women of this country have spent nearly 50 years striving to eradicate this kind of crap in the American workplace and now folks are trying to bring it back under the cloak of 'cultural sensitivity'?

If you all head down this road, where will it stop? What if a Dr. from Japan were to join the staff? Would he be offended if the nurses here refused to serve him tea?

This is just wrong...

I think you should have said to your NM...'Whadduya think I am...a gorilla?' Seriously.

I am not from the USA but I chose to live here and learned their culture, so I agree that you have to adapt to the culture of the country you are in, unless you are a tourist there. I even get mad at people who live here and don't adapt or refuses to learn. So, please if you leave your country to live in another for a better life, at least try to learn their culture. I would hate it too if it were to happen in my home country.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

i'm going to have to ask everyone to play nice and stop the barbed comments. several people have complained, and it's questionable that this is even a useful conversation at this point. please remember to post in a manner that is polite and respectful, and if you find a post offensive, report it to the moderating team or the administrators rather than taking on the other member personally. thank you.

Specializes in Peds Homecare.

His request is totally unacceptable, and the Nurse Manager should have told him so. This is the United States of America. If this request from her/him continues, I would report the NM to my supervisor. What the male dr. asked is not even a valid request.

Specializes in Hospice/Mental Health/LTC/Home Health.

can i kudo this 15 more times?

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.
His request is totally unacceptable, and the Nurse Manager should have told him so. This is the United States of America. If this request from her/him continues, I would report the NM to my supervisor. What the male dr. asked is not even a valid request.

Had it been my NM, she would've been laughing so hard, I think he would have walked away, with this ego completely destroyed.:lol2:

Specializes in ER, cardiac, addictions.
To avert your eyes and 'not be assertive' is to behave SUBMISSIVELY. The women of this country have spent nearly 50 years striving to eradicate this kind of crap in the American workplace and now folks are trying to bring it back under the cloak of 'cultural sensitivity'?

If you all head down this road, where will it stop? What if a Dr. from Japan were to join the staff? Would he be offended if the nurses here refused to serve him tea?

This is just wrong...

How does this doctor behave around women doctors? Is he uncomfortable with them making eye contact and offering suggestions, too?

If so, then I'd chalk it up to cultural misunderstandings. I wouldn't get belligerent with him about it, but someone needs to clue him in that, in the U.S., it's normal for women to look men in the eye during social and professional interactions, and that nurses are taught to be assertive, on behalf of their patients.

Specializes in LTC.

as usual, we americans have taken things above and beyond to an extreme. our country was based on the rights and freedoms that others craved and wanted. did they have any idea it would turn out like this? i think not.

so, as a nursing student, let me ask all of you wise and wonderful veteran and current nurses... when i walk up to anyone (because remember we are not supposed to stereotype and assume) i am to look like a downtrodden wimp as i stare at my tootsies? look at the ceiling? waiting for someone to tell me, "it's ok child; i am also culturally sensitive and will allow you to look upon me as you are speaking because i know your culture does this"? yeah right! it will never happen! nobody thinks americans have a "culture". aren't we all supposed to blend???

i am american... i was born here. my grandfather was an irishman and my grandmother was a blackfoot indian (dont make me mad! my eyes turn red and i can bring the rains upon you!)... i love my heritage but i also know that i am first and foremost an american!!!!

omg, i am mad... lol, please allow my anger, it is within my culture

Specializes in NICU,ICU,ER,MS,CHG.SUP,PSYCH,GERI.
I totally understand. I agree with you. I just don't like the way ( the doctor) acted, they both work in the medical field and they both should find a way to respect each others culture. You can't make people respect your culture, you also have to respect theirs. I would be okay if this was a patient who complained about eye contact because it is all about what the patient wants and not what the doc/nurse wants.

Why do I "have to respect theirs"? I am tolerent and sensitive to many cultures I do not respect. I do not have to accomodate a need to avoid eye contact or suggestions for my patients while practicing in the United States. Even when I was in the Middle East I advocated for the patients.We actually had a physician write "Nurses not to request more pain mediction" for a 10 years old child who had been hit by a car. He had a broken bone in each limb. He got Tylenol Suppositories for pain. I "have to respect" that? What I "have" to do, and did, is try to help my patients. Cultural accomodation should never be allowed to become harmful.:uhoh3:

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