I am an American. - page 3

by UnionRN2 28,423 Views | 237 Comments

In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When... Read More


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    If people would stop looking for things to get offended by, the world would be a MUCH easier and pleasanter place to live in.
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    ^^ agreed.
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    Well, it seems that the facility is going out of their way to please and 'respect' only one side versus the many that would be affected.

    I would have suggested that we do rounds, patient updates etc via email, text, FB, or over the phone to keep both parties happy and cultural needs met. I know......LOL
    Crux1024 and Bella'sMyBaby like this.
  4. 32
    Quote from UnionRN2
    In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

    Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

    Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.
    I am more offended by the actions of your nurse manager. Why didn't she stick up for her staff instead of acting as a mouthpiece for some arrogant physician?. I don't mind respecting others' cultures as long as it doesn't require me to act in a way that is not true to myself. In this case, Doc A needs to understand that the culture here is different and he is just going to have to get over it.
    Smartone86, Lexi86, Orange Tree, and 29 others like this.
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    It's sad when people govern by inappropriate rules. The NM has lost her effectivity by giving into this--or by presenting it to you all this way.

    I think there are better ways to "respect" people's cultures--I mean I can stand in "his shoes" and at least attempt to see it.

    But am I going to change my ways of doing this?

    No. The culture I am in promotes direct, effective eye-to-eye communication. I deal with too many physicians on a daily basis to remember who I can talk to directly or not. So no matter what is said--not so sure I can comply.

    What the doctor is doing is creating a "hostile environment." There is research to support this. Perhaps the NM and the doctor needs to see the implication of their "'rules" on patient care.

    The other answer I have is to buy the doctor a set of sunglasses. He can use it at work, have a special place for it just for him so he can leave it at work, and then when he sees his family and doesn't need to remind people that he "doesn't like eye to eye contact."

    It's much to easier to fix one person than 300 million direct eye-lookers.
    Last edit by PostOpPrincess on Jul 25, '10
    Orange Tree, NurseSDP, TDCHIM, and 8 others like this.
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    Quote from eriksoln
    I would have made eye contact with the NM and then requested "I a written policy signed by yourself and the doctor stating we are not to ask for anything for patients, then I will happily comply."

    Or you could just do what most do and pretend to care, then go about it with business as usual.

    Biggest part of nursing that a lot of people don't get is when to listen to management, and when to pretend you are listening
    .
    I hate this idea, it's passive-aggressive. Silence=acquiescence. The best thing to do is voice your disagreement with this request and do as you originally stated which is ask for policy. Make it clear that her edict is unacceptable. It would be nice if entire staff stuck together on this one but what usually happens is one person speaks out and the rest sit there quietly then ***** and complain when NM is out of earshot.
    Last edit by tnbutterfly on Aug 5, '10 : Reason: Language
    NurseSDP, RetRN77, Cherish, and 12 others like this.
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    Quote from JoPACURN
    The other answer I have is to buy the doctor a set of sunglasses. He can use it at work, have a special place for it just for him so he can leave it at work, and then when he sees his family and doesn't need to remind people that he "doesn't like eye to eye contact."

    It's much to easier to fix one person than 30 million direct eye-lookers.


    lololol.........
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    Quote from Abuelita
    If people would stop looking for things to get offended by, the world would be a MUCH easier and pleasanter place to live in.
    I posted this same thing on another tread not 30 minutes ago.
    Bella'sMyBaby likes this.
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    Bwahahha JoPACURN. Briliant!
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    I wonder what you might say in Nicaragua, getting cat-called by all the male docs, and when you asked for a change, they responded, "We're Nicaraguan! This is our country! We don't have to humor your culture!"
    Just saying....it goes both ways.


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