A friend that I ride with is very seriously ill with an eating disorder. She is only 1 and it has been going on for quite some time (I noticed the bones sticking out of her hips last summer) but this summer her hips even stick out her back, and you can see all the notches on her sternum her face is so sunken and their is no fat on her body never mind muscle (her body already ate the muscle she had). she was always tall and skinny but now it makes me so sad to even see her. My coach, and many of the parents have approached this girls mother to try and help, but the mother isists that their is not a problem. she sais "I took her to the doctor and he said that as long as she stays over 80 pounds it's ok".
I can't imagine a doctor would ever say that, she has to be at least 5'5 (I'm guessing compared to my height) but my question is how can I help a friend that so desperatly needs it, when even her mother isn't lisening?
I don't see her as much as I used to, but can I help with out losing a friend? (but I feel like if I don't help she won't survive)... but maybe trying to help will help her survive, and ensureing that she has a life is more important, and to maybe prevent her from getting any sicker...?
she is so week I'm surprised that she can even stay on her horse. she had to quite her job at the barn because she can't even lift a pitchfork long enough to clean a stall. watching her ride when everyone else is all flushed from heat and effort, she is green looking like she can't make it around the ring one more time. Her boots are the same ones from when she was 13 and the hang off her caves when they used to be tight (and are meant to be)
when looking at her, I can picture the skelitons in anatomy lab and how all the bones are sitting in her body, I shouldn't be able to label the bumps on bones while looking at someone (with cothes on).
thanx for letting me express this.
Somehow it sounds the parent in the situation may be either in denial, or in support of the daughter's weight loss. Some parents push their children to perfection, to a point the child has no control, but to control their eating. And that may result in the eating issuse; of course there are hundred factors that can play into the psychology of an eating disorder.
Unfortunately eating disorders, much like substance abuse can only be helped when the person suffering is ready to help themselves. I struggled with anorexia for a year, then took on bulimia for about two years. I was terrified when Iwas confronted by my family physician at 17 years old. He seemed "onto me."
I cannot think of anything you can do, perhaps notify the school psychologist? I do not know if that would be overly intrusive. I am certain her teaches have concerns, and may have voiced them already. One of the best approaches would be if a classmate approached a school counselor or nurse.
As another poster noted a hands-off approach seems the easiest. Altho, I tend to agree with her, that someone needs to le tthis girl know they see what is happening. Anorexia/Bulimia (in my experience) is a "secret" disease, a lot of time; once the person with the illness is confronted that is enough to scare her into seeking help. Obviously as a minor she will need her family's assistance.
The MD claiming the 80pound thing is a bunch of @$#%. The mother is clearly lying about this, I just cnanot imagine this being said to her by a md. Perhaps the daughter told the mother this?
Or like I said, this is a parent who demands perfection of her child. And the child is responding this way.
More that i think about it, I lean torwards notifying the guidance department of your concerns, or the school psychologist. I am certain teachers have raised concerns already.
Last edit by SugarMagnoliaMom on Jul 19, '04