How to deal with the old/experienced nurses?! - page 7

Hello! I m a new RN on A med-surge floor and most of my co-workers are old nurses that have been on that floor for years! They don't seem to like me and i have NO idea why! I am a quiet person. I... Read More

  1. Visit  PRICHARILLAisMISSED profile page
    0
    Quote from CapeCodMermaid
    As one of the old experienced nurse, I could easily start a post entitled How To Deal With The Young Clueless Nurses. Seems there is a tendency to lump groups of people together. I can remember being new and insecure and can clearly remember the experienced nurses who helped me out and those who went out if their way to be snarky.
    In the OPs case though Ma'am, it doesn't appear that she has any who are interested in helping her out. At best it looks like they just want to ignore her as a whole.
  2. Visit  PRICHARILLAisMISSED profile page
    1
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    Maybe your new colleagues are sensing that you don't like or disrespect them? You start out by saying that most of your co-workers are old nurses (not OLDER) who have been on that floor for years . . . your very first sentence indicates a lack of basic respect for these nurses. In your second sentence, you've assumed that they don't like you -- and claim that you don't know why. I see nothing to indicate that you've spoken with these colleagues and they've told you they don't like you -- but if they really don't like you, one of the first things I'd consider is that they've tuned in to the fact that you don't like or respect them.

    I appreciate being quiet and feeling like a stranger to the floor. I'm quiet too. Even strangers to the floor, though, can make a point of a pleasant greeting when you encounter your new colleagues. Ask them how their holiday was, and then follow up later by mentioning that you bet their son/daughter/grandchild/furry critter/whatever is enjoying/not enjoying the lovely/horrible weather while they're on school break/whatever. Be interested in them and project friendliness and interest. Even us old bats respond better to newbies who are friendly to us than to newbies who disrespect us, act as if they don't like us or avoid talking to us.

    Are your colleagues actually YELLING at you? Really? Or is it just that you've received some negative feedback and are describing that as yelling? You are brand new, and should expect to receive negative feedback. Lots of it. Unless, of course, you're that rare creature who is perfect, you're going to make mistakes and it is the job of the experienced nurses on your unit to notice, point out and correct your mistakes. They'd be doing you a horrific disservice if they didn't, not to mention the disservice they'd be doing your patients. I'm not sure why it was such a big deal for you NOT to change the IV bag. If the experienced nurse told you to change it, assume that there is a reason and change it. Then make sure you understand her rationale. If, after considering her rationale for changing the IV bag early you really think she was wrong, you're free to disregard her advice and do it your way after you've been working there a year or two. But in the mean time, do it her way. She's the one with the experience.

    Now in your last sentence, you say you try to talk and use humor, but they just give you "the look." I'm not sure what "the look" is, but from what you've said, you're reading minds again. Or at least you think you can. And since you stated earlier that you're not that social with your colleagues, I'm sure the "talking and using humor" takes some of them by surprise and feels incongruous.

    You are the new person, entering a unit with an established culture and entrenched team. You're going to have to fit into that culture, not expect it to change for you. Part of your difficulty seems to be your lack of respect and genuine liking for your colleagues. Part of it seems to be your assumption that you know what they're thinking based on facial expressions or whatever. Part of it stems from your assumption that you know more than your experienced colleagues. And part of it seems to be an inability or unwillingness on your part to accept the inevitable negative feedback that comes with being new to a job. You can turn this around, but you have to first accept that it's not their fault. It's yours.
    Everything about this is presumptuous.
    HM-8404 likes this.
  3. Visit  Vishwamitr profile page
    2
    Whoa Ruby Vee, you really shot Anna to smithereens. Poor thing was just trying to vent but she really got an earful. Lot of her statements were either misconstrued or were read into. Her post was analysed sentence by sentence like a forensic psychiatrist. I don't believe that she will ever write another post or ask for an advice because (of course, I am assuming here) she has to come a conclusion that all older nurses are the same.
    Anna, nurses don't eat their young. I am not sure where that aphorism originated from but there is no credence to it. Trust me, only time will tell.
  4. Visit  Vishwamitr profile page
    0
    Correction: ....she has come to a conclusion****
  5. Visit  tntrn profile page
    4
    [QUOTE=PRICHARILLAisMISSED;7094072]In the OPs case though Ma'am, it doesn't appear that she has any who are interested in helping her out. At best it looks like they just want to ignore her as a whole.[/QUOTE


    It would be helpful to hear from those mean OLD nurses she works with.....you know, to get both sides of the story.
    SCSTxRN, KelRN215, anotherone, and 1 other like this.
  6. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    2
    Quote from LadyFree28
    Agreed! Those "battle axes" are the BEST nurses. They have shaped me to be an intelligent, capable, competent nurse, and a empathetic nurse...they also have helped me be able to enjoy nursing on my own terms...not much burnout, flexible and active in my career and nursing cultures when I have work-really drama and stress free...I have truly enjoyed my nursing profession, due to them...they are priceless!
    Intelligent, capable, competent. Yep, I can get on board with that.

    Sure, there are some who are just plain nasty to specific demographics and they feel it is their right via seniority to be. Though they may claim that their actions are a reflection of experience and an extension of mentorship, it is real easy to tell the difference.
  7. Visit  Ruby Vee profile page
    5
    Quote from PRICHARILLAisMISSED
    There is no way in h$!! that I can agree with this. I'm not an RN yet, but nonetheless there are certain truths that transcend professions. Why be kind to someone that goes out of their way to make you miserable? I hate when someone (who is not your boss, just a more experienced person at your job at that) has some ridiculous perceived authority over me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for listening to what more experienced ppl have to say if they want to "Teach the new guy," but there is no way I'll allow them to disrespect me just because they think they can.

    I don't believe in that "Paying your dues BS either." I go to work to do my job-whatever that job may be-PERIOD! Not to feed some coworkers ego by being their whipping boy. Most of them are bitter because they've been doing the same thing for x amt of years because A) they are not competent enough to be promoted or B) they don't have the drive to make the necessary sacrifices to educate themselves into a better position.

    OP, if you try to "Kill them with kindness" then, no offense but I hope they run all over you. Again no offense is intended and I hope you fix this, but don't be WEAK, ok?
    You have some serious attitude issues that I sincerely hope you can address before you come looking for a job at my institution. When you are a brand new nurse, all of those experienced nurses around you have some authority over you (and some impact on your paycheck, believe it or not.) If you aren't teachable -- because you already know everything, because you don't think we have any authority over you, because you're overly sensitive about being disrespected -- your actual boss will hear about it -- over and over if necessary.

    I'm not sure where you get your idea that your future coworkers will be bitter, not competent enough to be promoted or lack drive to educate themselves into "better positions", but I hope you overcome that disability before you're set free on the working world.
    portcl, KelRN215, anotherone, and 2 others like this.
  8. Visit  Ruby Vee profile page
    3
    Quote from PRICHARILLAisMISSED
    In the OPs case though Ma'am, it doesn't appear that she has any who are interested in helping her out. At best it looks like they just want to ignore her as a whole.
    And in the OP's case, it's entirely possible that she's already alienated a whole shift of experienced nurses by treating them with disrespect.
    Altra, OCNRN63, and wooh like this.
  9. Visit  Vishwamitr profile page
    2
    Wow Ruby Vee,
    With all that vitriol, you could start your own pest-control company....you just have to spew it everytime you get a contract.
    barnstormin' and Kooky Korky like this.
  10. Visit  Ruas61 profile page
    4
    Some day, G-d willing, all the newbies will be oldies. What goes around around.
    GrnTea, SCSTxRN, OCNRN63, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  Vishwamitr profile page
    0
    Ruas, whom are you afraid of spelling His name?
  12. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    4
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    You have some serious attitude issues that I sincerely hope you can address before you come looking for a job at my institution. When you are a brand new nurse, all of those experienced nurses around you have some authority over you (and some impact on your paycheck, believe it or not.) If you aren't teachable -- because you already know everything, because you don't think we have any authority over you, because you're overly sensitive about being disrespected -- your actual boss will hear about it -- over and over if necessary.
    He said nothing about being unteachable. In fact, he specifically said that he is all for listening to what more experienced people have to say. However, he also raised a very good point about being wary of being unilaterally disrespected because of an inferior bargaining position.

    Is it really the more experienced nurse's charge to vilify and/or jeopardize the livelihood of those who might be overly sensitive about being disrespected? I think it ought to be to show the new employee that they have no reason to be wary. And if that fails, consider another option. But to not even consider putting the new employee at ease - instead to jump straight to labeling them unteachable and going to the boss and threatening the new employee's paycheck speaks volumes about how you perceive your role in all of this. It appears to be an example the kind of abuse of power PRICHARILLAisMISSED was describing.
  13. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    3
    Quote from triquee
    Predicting the arrival of Ruby Vee in T minus 10....9.....8....7.....6.....5.....4......3.....2. .....
    Yep, called that one.


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