How to deal with the old/experienced nurses?!

[Anna-s]

Hello!

I m a new RN on A med-surge floor and most of my co-workers are old nurses that have been on that floor for years! They don't seem to like me and i have NO idea why! I am a quiet person. I mean i like to socialize but I am not that loud person ( because I still feel a stranger to the floor). Anyways some of them ignore me if I ask a question, others yell at me for the smallest mistakes ( one yelled at me cause I didn't change the NS bag that was good for another 3hours and even tho I put a new bag in the room, she wanted it change) i am nice to them! I try to talk and use humour but most of them just give me the look and roll their eye!

How should I treat them or deal with them?

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

The poster is a new nurse by her own admission. That means, unless things have changed drastically since I was a new nurse, that she is more or less incompetent. New nurses make mistakes as they're learning to become competent nurses, and consequently they receive negative feedback. The OP's post indicated that she didn't receive negative feedback well. That's going to be a problem for her and hinder her in her career. She needs to work on that.

I haven't read many defensive posts by older or experienced nurses on this thread, but I have read a lot of posts from folks who are assuring the OP that she's a great nurse and shouldn't be treated "so poorly." I'm not convinced that she's being treated poorly, although I'm fairly certain she isn't showing respect for her colleagues' experience.

By the way . . . why all the shouting?

Ruby, I never thought of her post as being rude...more like she was venting...I can understand, after my own double check (guess I should've done that nurse check :0) ) and I can see how she comes off as not handle negative feedback well. I actually welcome your posts, actually.

Either way, newbie nurses need the "old school" nurses to teach valuable education ; once they learn the ropes, newbies may have fresh ideas to help promote pt. safety, or improve nursing...the nurse preceptor relationship should be an opportunity to ensures the foundations of our profession are to be passed successfully.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I have to respond to the "Nursing is one of the only professions that eat their young" quote - I've yet to work in a position that didn't haze their new members.

Fast food, Waitress, Teacher, Bartender, Nurse... Over the last 16 years, I've worked at least as many jobs (not much for having just one job) in various fields.. the only job I didn't get a little 'hazing' by my coworkers when I started was a clown gig. Literally.

To the new nurse: As a (haha) old nurse - well, the oldest on my unit anyway, orienting a bunch of newbies - I wish they would just do what I tell them to do the way that I tell them to do it at least until they get off of orientation. My job is to train them safely in accordance with unit policies. I love to teach. But when I say you must call the MOD to report a FSBS less than 60, assymptomatic or not, and that you must recheck after intervention to see if it worked or not, and that you must write a nursing note on the fact that you did all of that and the results - it's really NOT because I like making people write notes or call doctors. It's because that's the policy of the unit, and that's what I have to train them to do, and if they don't do it, they feel picked on because I have to go behind them and make sure it gets done. Just do it. Saves us all the stress.

FTR - I love my orientees. I just want them to do well. And not get us both fired.

I think stating that our profession "ONLY" do the snacking is untrue as well, "people are people, are people" is an adage that I have used.

With the exception of my story, as being on both sides of being a precept and being a preceptor, I have had MORE challenges as a preceptor, even one person going to the point that she "didn't get oriented on it" ALTHOUGH I document what happened what steps the precept took feedback and follow up. AND she signed it...long story short, she was written up...a teachable moment for that precept!

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

Maybe I am just bold, but I would say after report,...

"I feel I might not be meeting your expectations in my progress, and I am completely open to criticism- and desire to be a good and competent colleague. Please pull me aside if I am not meeting unit expectations- or if I can be of assistance. I appreciate those of you who have already done this for me, and I am committed to getting this right. I am lucky to have such seasoned colleagues:)."

I never had any regrets for booty smooching. I have NO pride. But, I do believe we train others HOW to treat us.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Be yourself, watch and learn, and ask questions if you're unsure (even if some of them might yell at you). It takes time for people to feel you out and eventually, some of the senior nurses will come around. Don't expect everyone will like you, just be professional yourself.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

The poster is a new nurse by her own admission. That means, unless things have changed drastically since I was a new nurse, that she is more or less incompetent. New nurses make mistakes as they're learning to become competent nurses, and consequently they receive negative feedback. The OP's post indicated that she didn't receive negative feedback well. That's going to be a problem for her and hinder her in her career. She needs to work on that.

I haven't read many defensive posts by older or experienced nurses on this thread, but I have read a lot of posts from folks who are assuring the OP that she's a great nurse and shouldn't be treated "so poorly." I'm not convinced that she's being treated poorly, although I'm fairly certain she isn't showing respect for her colleagues' experience.

By the way . . . why all the shouting?

I am not using all caps, which would be indicative of shouting. I am not a new nurse, but I know how it feels to be the younger one in the group or the newer one in the organization. You do not know enough about me to lead you to determine that I am "more or less incompetent". That comment was imprudent and unnecessary. My colleagues, I believe, would strongly disagree with you. You said you haven't read many defensive posts; the defensive posts I mentioned in my previous post included your own posts.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am not using all caps, which would be indicative of shouting. I am not a new nurse, but I know how it feels to be the younger one in the group or the newer one in the organization. You do not know enough about me to lead you to determine that I am "more or less incompetent". That comment was imprudent and unnecessary. My colleagues, I believe, would strongly disagree with you. You said you haven't read many defensive posts; the defensive posts I mentioned in my previous post included your own posts.

I didn't say you were "more or less incompetent." I said that the original poster, as a brand new nurse, was more or less incompetent. Newbies on any job are more or less incompetent. It's up to the experienced folks on the job to mentor them into competency.

I took all the underlined sentences as akin to shouting -- or rude, in any event.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

I didn't say you were "more or less incompetent." I said that the original poster, as a brand new nurse, was more or less incompetent. Newbies on any job are more or less incompetent. It's up to the experienced folks on the job to mentor them into competency.

I took all the underlined sentences as akin to shouting -- or rude, in any event.

I only meant emphasis, not rudeness, but note taken on the underlining.

[Hooch]

And are you being a competent mentor if you ignore or shout at the new entrant for asking questions?

[multi10]

When I was a new RN (one year out and brand-new to the ICU), I was also a newlywed. Sometimes I worked nights. There was an experienced nurse, my favorite, who liked to rave about how fantastic her husband was. One night she went home early, in the middle of the night, because the census was low and she had already worked overtime that week. Guess what she found upon her arrival home? A woman in her bed. After that she was different at work, but still a great and talented nurse. You never know why people behave the way they do at work.

[amygarside]

Just do the best you can so that they will see that you are a good worker and that you take your responsibilities seriously. It may take time also to some people to warm up so just hold on and always show positivism towards them.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Ruby, I never thought of her post as being rude...more like she was venting...I can understand, after my own double check (guess I should've done that nurse check :0) ) and I can see how she comes off as not handle negative feedback well. I actually welcome your posts, actually.

Either way, newbie nurses need the "old school" nurses to teach valuable education ; once they learn the ropes, newbies may have fresh ideas to help promote pt. safety, or improve nursing...the nurse preceptor relationship should be an opportunity to ensures the foundations of our profession are to be passed successfully.

To me it's rude to repeatedly refer to ones co-workers as "old, old, old." When you start harping on that, there's a problem.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

To me it's rude to repeatedly refer to ones co-workers as "old, old, old." When you start harping on that, there's a problem.

True...sounds like ageism. I'm 31, and consider "old" to some of the nursing newbies...lol...just call me "old school"...I always remind them "I know the ropes...you want to be competent, and your license to be free and clear, you will need to listen to me. I want you to be able to be beside me in any situation as comfortable as I am, in your own way, just like you expect me to be, since you are starting out." So, if the OP needs to be "whipped into shape" lol...the OP needs to realize that, she needs to go through the trenches to be a better nurse...time management, professionalism, etc. examine the negative feed back, appreciate the teachable moment and become the best nurse she can be.