Gossip, gossip, gossip

  1. 0 I was on an inpatient med/surg unit for the last year and a half and recently transferred to ICU. In my last weeks on the floor, a few nurses became nasty and talked behind my back. 1 even complained about my care of a patient and emailed my nurse manager before ever talking to me about it. I have not yet started working in the ICU, but I have just learned that a nurse from my floor transferred a pt to the ICU and told the ICU nurse that the nurse that was transferring (me) was a lazy nurse. I am so upset and angry by these nurses who are talking and spreading rumors about me. I haven't met any of the ICU staff, and now they already think I'm lazy. Why do nurses do this to other nurses? How should I handle the situation? I haven't worked on the floor for 2 weeks and they are still talking about me. Please give me your thoughts.
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  3. Visit  helpalready} profile page

    About helpalready

    helpalready has '3' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'Oncology, ICU'. From 'NY'; 44 Years Old; Joined Jul '07; Posts: 52; Likes: 7.

    12 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  Baloney Amputation} profile page
    8
    If they are told that you are lazy, I would pleasantly surprise them and show them that you aren't lazy.

    I hate gossip. I don't think anyone can avoid it, but you can disprove it.
    MzMouse, sicushells, Spidey's mom, and 5 others like this.
  5. Visit  Valerie Salva} profile page
    2
    Good advice.
    HonestRN and Baloney Amputation like this.
  6. Visit  caliotter3} profile page
    2
    Quote from applescruffette
    If they are told that you are lazy, I would pleasantly surprise them and show them that you aren't lazy.

    I hate gossip. I don't think anyone can avoid it, but you can disprove it.
    Quote from Valerie Salva
    Good advice.
    I agree.
    HonestRN and Baloney Amputation like this.
  7. Visit  nghtfltguy} profile page
    2
    i don't know the whole situation.. but here is my advice....

    you got a better job.. they are jealous.... they started telling lies about you

    do this..... just take your job in the icu... you will make friends there and they will see that you are not lazy...

    netglow and helpalready like this.
  8. Visit  nghtfltguy} profile page
    2
    i mean that whole heartedly....becuse icu nurses HATE me...

    netglow and helpalready like this.
  9. Visit  helpalready} profile page
    0
    Thanks! I feel better already!
  10. Visit  roser13} profile page
    1
    I don't know what it is between ICU and Med/Surg, but there's always been some friction there. Med/Surg nurses tend to think that ICU nurses feel "above" Med/Surg, but I don't know how ICU nurses tend to view Med/Surg nurses since I've never worked ICU.

    At any rate, since it seems that your gossip issues started when it became apparent that you were moving on, I totally agree that it's a jealousy thing. It's so unfortunate. But all you can do is hold your head high, work extra hard and get past any initial issues. Good luck.
    helpalready likes this.
  11. Visit  eriksoln} profile page
    8
    Eh, people are so catty and passive aggressive. I lose respect for people who gossip. It shows lack of a back bone and fortitude.

    Ever notice the ones who gossip the most are the ones who are:
    In bad relations but dont have the assertiveness to get out of it.
    Have kids who are completely out of control at home and make their lives miserable.
    Get pushed around by management/administration more than the avg. employee cause, well, they are the ones who never have anything to say back.
    Are in debt to the point of drowning despite doing OT every single week.
    Never have their work done but for some reason think pointing out everything that was not done when they came on makes up for it.
    More often than not are gossiping about someone for doing something they themselves are guilty of.

    What would I do. Find out who said it and approach them. Just say "I was wondering why you had so much to say about me to the ICU nurse the other day. Have anything to say now that we are face to face? I'm giving you an opportunity to get whatever it is thats getting your panties all in a bunch off your chest." They will clam up, maybe try to save face, but for sure wont have anything left to say to you anymore. The threat of being approached by an assertive personality is their greatest fear.

    I had this problem at my first job. There were a few midnight nurses who spent the whole night sitting at the nurses station discussion everything and anything that was wrong with the other shifts. I'm not kidding here, they did it for a minimum of 2 hours EVERY SINGLE night. Yet the majority of them couldnt get their AM nurse draw labs off in time and averaged a good half hour OT staying late because they didnt get their late shift meds passed either. OMG, but dont go outside for a cigarette and let one of them see you. You'd be the topic of the night for sure..........how can you care for anyone when you are off the floor a whole seven minutes twice a night?

    One of them started targeting me because the manager refused to give her OT (and yes, I was the one helping with nights making it so they didnt have to give it to her). Lord knows what kinds of things she made up about me during their nightly two hour seminars. I approached her just the way I described above and, I doubt she stopped, but she was very carefull that nothing got back to me and she was less brave about making things up after that point.

    Assertiveness. Thats what people who gossip lack and thats what they fear most.

    Pfffft. Nursing field flooded with these types and we wonder why nursing gets not respect.
  12. Visit  RNperdiem} profile page
    2
    If you are not an interesting target, the gossip will fizzle out in time.
    Just do your job, be polite to everyone.
    Do not feed the gossips by divulging personal information or advertising your mistakes.
    NurseShelly and helpalready like this.
  13. Visit  jadelpn} profile page
    4
    You know, Erik is right on--it is usually a person's dis-satisfaction with their own life that fuels jealousy. I would definetely be an example of hard work--when the other nurses see that you are not lazy, that speaks for itself. However, I would also be an example of not getting sucked in with gossip at any level--I am the first one to say "I don't know anything about what you are talking about, and don't want to. This is all very inappropriate." or "Sally is so talented clinically" <--it is funny how you say one nice thing about a person who is a target of nasty gossip and the gossipers get embarrassed quite quickly!! It is so difficult because it is all so "junior high". Best wishes in your new position!!
    TuTonka, NurseShelly, chevyv, and 1 other like this.
  14. Visit  TuTonka} profile page
    1
    I think all advice has been excellent. I find that if ignored the flames die. You know who you are and it is their loss not yours. You have seen and experienced a bashing by your peers d/t jealousy, immaturity and plain Bi@#$%^&. You can disprove this. Do not ever feed the gossip mongers. You have your goals stick to them. Good Luck.


    TuTonka
    helpalready likes this.
  15. Visit  NurseShelly} profile page
    0
    Words can hurt. Everyone here has given you some great advice. Just look forward to your new position and do your best to get passed the nastiness of your prior unit. In time, the nurses you'll be working with will see how hard you work. Good luck!


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