Family Members and their pearls of wisdom...

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Jul 12, 2012

I hate how people refer to the person the are visiting as "they" What room are they in? WHO THE **** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! I have 21 people in here with people coming and going all the time and you expect me to know who they is?

I love the helicopter family members though. Oh alarm dinged. Page nurse. Oh he moved, page nurse. He farted, page nurse. He had a breath, page nurse. Love those people.

0402 · Jul 12, 2012

My favorite of all time is: if the doctor doesnt come to see me right now, I am leaving! I want to say "do you promise?" But what I actually do is grab the AMA form. LOL

We had one like this recently. The MD refused to order IV pain meds, and the pt refused the PO ones that had been ordered (pt was a FF who was very well known to the hospital and the admitting doc). Left AMA screaming that he would go to "the other hospital" that gives the meds he needs. Well, I work for a hospital system, so this genius, instead of going to another hospital that doesn't have access to the records from our hospital, he goes to one of our sister hospitals, where they can immediately see his admission and dc notes from our hospital. So, yeah, he wasn't very successful over there, either.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Jul 12, 2012

I love it when people come up to my floor and ask, "Hey nurse (well, at least you got that part right), where's Boo-boo at?"

Me: "Uh....who?"

Them: "Boo-boo. Where's she?"

Me: "Does Boo-boo go by another name, by chance?"

Them: "Oh, uh....Mary Jane Smith."

Honestly, people! I don't know who Boo-boo is!!! And it happens all the freaking time!

I also LOVE :rolleyes: it when people carry on about how 'nasty' breastfeeding is when it's time to feed baby. It is so tempting sometimes to tell them that they are free to leave so they don't have to see all that 'nastiness'. What I actually tell them is that breastfeeding gives baby antibodies that protect him/her from all the nasty bugs we carry on our hands, phones, hair, and purses. They don't really know what to say after that.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 12, 2012

decades ago and far away: patient in end stage renal failure, respiratory failure and heart failure admitted to the icu of the tertiary medical center so we can create a miracle and save him. wife at bedside moaning and screeching about how much she loves him, and he cannot be allowed to die because she loves him so much. family conference first thing in the morning during which renal, pulmonary and cardiology services tell patient and spouse there is nothing we can do for him; advise making him comfortable and getting his affairs in order. wife demands to speak to cardiac surgeon and somehow manages to see dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey.

dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey decides to operate -- i don't even remember what the surgery was. it was guaranteed to accomplish nothing but a long icu stay followed by a painful death. surgery is long, bloody and ultimately not even dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey can claim any measure of success . . . and believe me, the man can make a success out of almost anything. patient arrives from the or, bleeding measured in pleurevacs per hour and finally dies. after all is said in done, wife parks herself in room next to the body and begins praying for a miracle. hours pass, wife prays louder. finally, charge nurse, priest and cardiology resident go into room to talk to her (because dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey went home) and gently try to pry her loose from the bedside. wife flings herself over the body and the none-too-stable sternum gives way. screeching and moaning ensues, along with accusations that we "killed her precious husband." attempts to pry her from the bedside result in her absolute insistence that jesus will save him and she's going to sit right there until he does.

nurse manager nixes the idea of involving security because it would be bad customer service. some poor bloke had to sit in the or following his surgery until the next afternoon before we could get the wife out of the room, although i have no idea why dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey would have taken him to the or and opened him up in the first place given that until we got precious husband's room turned over, there was no place to put him in the icu.

withasmilelpn · Jul 12, 2012

Just the other day I had a visitor say she had a couple of questions. Then she stated 'Telephone calls'...I was like - you need to make one, your loved one wants to make one???Twenty questions later I determine that her loved one wants to make a long distance call. I explain how to her.Next - she states "New York Times" - good grief. This is LTC but this is a short term rehab patient from our outside community. So could be she wants it delivered, wants to buy it, etc. Turns out a friend usually gives her their paper every day. On her own this visitor decides she'll drop it off to her every day while she is here. But only after 10 minutes of questions from me to figure our what she means.You wonder what goes on their heads some times.

Fins Up! · Jul 12, 2012

another fav.....pt admitted for huge pulmonary issue...can't breathe.....but family wants pt to eat and is demanding to see the nurse manager to complain about the pt not eating...Mmmmm ....Ok go ahead and eat and then your family member can go to the ICU in tubated

geminiRNC · Jul 12, 2012

In L&D you can't imagine what I've heard family members/friends say. There is one that always gets me though. They're not talking to me, but I can picture myself tying the efm cords around their necks lol.

A mom is laboring naturally, feeling every ctx, and breathing through them. And then it never fails--someone sits in front of the monitor and everytime a ctx is about to come they get all excited and say "oh, no....this is gonna be a big one!" Over and over. Really?? Is this helping?? lol Sooo irritating and idiotic.

Twinmom06, ASN, APN · Jul 12, 2012

, but I can picture myself tying the efm cords around their necks lol.

this just gave me a fantabulous mental picture for my evening in L&D!

JDZ344 · Jul 12, 2012

.

MelissaLPN, ASN, LPN, RN · Jul 12, 2012

Ok the setting, LTC, the resident is almost a hundred and her son is not much behind her. Tells me his mother is getting dizzy. I state "yes I know, I have assessed her. The doctor is seeing her in the morning." Son states " I want you guys to check her carbon monoxide ( I think he means dioxide but I didn't help him out) level. It could be too low." He goes on to make some unintelligent statement about some other family member who was on a vent and eventually died to total organ failure r/t catastrophic disease process who just so happen (shock) to have an abnormal blood gas. After explaining the more likely causes of dizziness ie orthostatic hypotension and the futility of a painful blood gas for no reason he states " I am not getting anywhere with you." He goes on to cite her dementia as a reason for a blood gas, his last pearl of wisdom "She is probably forgetting to breathe."

I rest my case.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 12, 2012

dementia patients -- gotta love 'em. and their families, too sometimes. my sister-in-law, a mammography tech, likes to talk about the 96 year old patient whose daughter brought her in for a mammo. mamma had late-stage alzheimer's and daughter was incensed that she had to go through three doctors to get someone to give her the referral for the mammo. meanwhile mamma is verbally and physically abusive and not only had no idea what was going on with the mammo, she had no idea who daughter was.

my sister in law and i both have mothers with late stage alzheimer's and we were both shocked that someone would do such a thing to their demented mother!

DizzyLizzyNurse · Jul 12, 2012

my all time favourite. pt. arrives in ambulance with vague complaints of nausea / vomiting / abdo pain. hyperventilating and being very dramatic with boyfriend in tow. after a quick work up it is decided that young lady is after some sedatives and/or narcotics. decision is made to place patient in a therapeutic location, the waiting room. patient actually blocks the doors with her legs screaming as nurse tries to wheel her out there. finally get her into wr. you know what's coming don't you- pseudo seizure! boyfriend harrassing at triage, then she throws herself on the floor in front of the triage desk and throws herself around. the patients boyfriend yells this "the paramedics told me what this was, i can't believe you're not doing anything, she is having a pseudo seizure!!!!". "you're right, she is". after a minute or so, she gets up, throws something at me and walks out. has another performance in the front garden. our fantastic police officers then arrest them for public nuisance.

:eek:

dr. imthenorthendofasouthboundmaledonkey

:rotfl:

dementia patients -- gotta love 'em. and their families, too sometimes. my sister-in-law, a mammography tech, likes to talk about the 96 year old patient whose daughter brought her in for a mammo. mamma had late-stage alzheimer's and daughter was incensed that she had to go through three doctors to get someone to give her the referral for the mammo. meanwhile mamma is verbally and physically abusive and not only had no idea what was going on with the mammo, she had no idea who daughter was.

my sister in law and i both have mothers with late stage alzheimer's and we were both shocked that someone would do such a thing to their demented mother!

when i did ltc i was made to do a bowel prep for a colonoscopy for a woman with huntington's disease. she cried and cried as she had diarrhea that went everywhere; all over the floor - loose stool river. she had to be cramping badly. then when i come into work the next night, my supervisor reams me out accusing me of not giving the prep. um what? turns out she went for the procedure and wasn't cleaned out enough. so they make me do it next week with even more bowel prep. it was awful. this poor lady kept crying and she had to be cramping so badly. again rivers of loose stool. again i get accused of not giving the prep because she wasn't cleaned out enough. i lose my cool and say if they try to make me do it again, i was going to refuse. i didn't work in ltc to torture old ladies to make them have procedures that are pointless. i get told that if i refuse it's neglect and failure to follow dr's orders, etc, etc. so i tell them fine, i'll just call in that night if i'm scheduled. (i never call in.) luckily (for me) it happens to get scheduled on my night off. apparently the third time, with even more laxatives, it still wasn't enough. the husband kept insisting we do everything, but i think the dr refused after the third round. the husband also wanted her to go for her paps and mammos. people are crazy.