Do you stand up for yourself to patients?

Nurses Relations

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I am just shocked with a conversation I had with a co-worker. I had a pt family member that was being rude and I asked the family member to stop talking to me that way (nicely). I was relaying the story and she said 'oh you can't do that " I said huh? I have a right to not be verbally abused and she said "no .......I don't think you do as a nurse, we have to meet pts and their families where they are"

Really? I don't think that is true. I am one to set boundaries, just like I did with this family member and usually it turns out really well and we have workable pt/nurse relationship. Not in this case, they then even got more irate and rude and I got the charge.

But I stand by my right to not be verbally abused. What do you think ? Do you stand up for yourself or do you believe its okay to let people tear you down and be verbally aggressive to you and that is our role as a nurse?

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I have stood up to patients and their families, and I will continue to do so.

I got a family member arrested once (on hospital grounds) for continued harassment of me and other employees. I understand that the hospital is a frightening place, but the expectation of acting appropriately still exists and it is an expectation for me that patients and their visitors do not cross that line.

^^^EXACTLY!!!!

You are RIGHT to create boundaries and not tolerate any form of abusive behavior. Anyone who does tolerate that behavior UNDERSTAND that you MAY be opening up for a potentially dangerous pt into turning into a dangerous pt. The facility won't always be there for you if you get injured, nor for when you set boundaries...but I rather not get injured or something worse...

And I "meet pts at they are" and draw the boundary line, and will continue to-exactly like the examples GrnTea described, and if necessary, what steps Calabria needed to do.

I will never allow patient/patient's family to inflict any type of abuse on me, whether physical, verbal or whatever it is!If they have rights, I also have mine as a nurse! Nobody should allow themselves to be abused, nurses or not!

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Dear felow nurses:

Please do not use your facility's position as a point of reference on how you should deal with abusive people in the workplace any more than you would care about whose side your boss would take if your partner physically abused you. It does not matter. Abuse is abuse, you will not be fired if you set your boundaries professionally and calmly. Let your documentation depict an objective description of the altercation, use quotes. It is the only ally you need. Supervisors and bosses are not there for you emotional support, let alone to be your friends: they represent the hospitals as a business, and "the client is always right".

Signed,

Been there, stopped that.

:applause:

Thank You!!

Supervisors and bosses are not there for you emotional support, let alone to be your friends: they represent the hospitals as a business, and "the client is always right".

^^Sad, wrong and oh so TRUE!

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

Staying very calm, and refusing to escalate with them is the starting point. Stay absolutely professional. I get guys in who use "f' this and that every other word. I just say, "mind your manners now" and it stops them a good bit of the time.

When it is directed at me personally, I start with "I am being respectful toward you, and I expect you to be the same". It may take a few times, but often works. Setting limits does not have to be a major confrontation, and is very much part of being a good nurse.

I find myself using my "mama said so!" voice, especially with those under the influence, and it works. WHen it doesn't, and things are going downhill, safety first and leave.

Our charges often start the shift pep talk with, if someone is getting mad and starting to yell, just leave and get them, they are there to take the heat.

I totally agree with you that it is necessary to set boundaries to have a therapeutic relationship; it doesn't do the patient any good to allow them to be verbally abusive. It's not all on us either. I will go to someone above me if the patient will not observe the boundaries I set.

We do meet people where we are and they are how we find them. However that does not mean that you get "I Am A Doormat, Kick Me" printed on your forehead when you take a nursing position. It is very appropriate to use your therapeutic communication techniques you learned in school. Setting boundaries is perfectly acceptable."[/quote']

This. Being sick or scared does not give you the right to be rude. I'm going to redirect you, because I will not tolerate it.

There is a difference between ranting to the universe and taking your frustrations out on a convenient target. I will not be that target, and I don't find it acceptable to make myself available for verbal abuse just so someone gets it out of their system.

I will say something, whether the person is being rude to me, to a coworker, and sometimes to another family member or a family member to my patient.

What GrnTea said is true. Sometimes people need to be redirected in their anger -- often it'll open the door for them to actually talk about what is bothering them, or they will realize how poorly they have behaved and apologize. At the very least, it sets a boundary with people.

I'm here to help, and my job doesn't include being a verbal punching bag.

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

I try to intervene if my staff is being verbally abused. I march into the room with as much attitude as my 5'3" size allows and ask the screamer to come speak with me in a private place. I've called the police on occasion when a family member was over the top, I've used humor, and I've walked away from family members and patients if they were screaming at me. We are professionals and we do not have to allow ourselves to be treated in this manner.

Specializes in CT ,ICU,CCU,Tele,ED,Hospice.

i set boundaries and defend myself.i work ed and i am no ones doormat .i have been a nurse for 26 yrs just because someone is ill is no excuse for rude and abusive behavior from pt or family.

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

My reputation precedes me...in most cases. I have no issue dealing with people, none at all. You do not come in my clinic and act like a horse's patoot.

Most of my patients will settle a rumpus before I even arrive on the scene. But once I'm there, I may not weigh 130 dripping wet, and 5'5" is all the height I can pull together, but I have yet to meet the patient I can't handle. Never laid a hand on one. Rarely raise my voice. But I have chased one out the door a time or two. The local boys in blue met them on the sidewalk.

People say our office is better than cable. On a bad day, I would say it's infinitely more entertaining.

I don't tolerate abuse or even just a mouth, nor does my staff. We have too long of a waiting list to put up with turkeys who can't behave.

Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.

I don't have a problem telling someone "you've never met me before and you don't need to talk to me that way." I've also walked out and told them that I'd come back when they could speak like an adult, I'm not here to be abused. At my place management may make it seem like they're siding with the patient or visitor, but they're really just kissing butt. They can go in the room and pretend like the patient/visitor is right all they want as long as they don't try to write me up.

And God help the first AOX4 patient or visitor who physically threatens me. It hasn't happened yet. One day when I was charge there was a visitor who screamed at one of our nurses and stuck her hands in her face who's lucky she left the hospital fast before I got wind of it and called Metro.

Specializes in Critical Care, Telemetry, CCU, PCU.

Abuse is not ok, and I am not having it! In my 16 yrs as a nurse, I can remember only 1 patient who really tried it. This was a 40-something racist to the bone quadraplegic. This man, who literally could not scratch his own butt if he needed to, would hurl the most offensive, disgusting, evil racial slurs imaginable when staff was not at his immediate beck and call or when things were not just as he wanted, when he wanted. On occasion he would even hawk the most vile lugees and try to spit in people's faces! Anyway, soon after introducing myself as his night nurse and attempting to gage his immediate needs, he started with the name calling. I informed him in my most professional (yet authoritative) way that I am here to care for him, however under no circumstance will I or my tech tolerate his abuse; verbal and most certainly not otherwise. I then left the room briefly to put the charge on notice that this man's issues went far deeper than me, and she may want to prepare for an assignment change. Upon my return, I picked up where I left off and provided his care. Needless to say, he did not have some miraculous change of heart or apologize, but we went the entire shift without further incident.

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