Dear British "Hoaxed" Nurse:

PRICHARILLAisMISSED · Dec 13, 2012

This is a tragedy. This woman is no longer with us over what amounted to nothing more than a prank. My heart goes out to Mrs Saldanha's husband, 2 children and of course her extended family and friends who I'm sure are all devastated by this. It is so sad how such an apparently minor thing as a 5 minute phone call can devastate so many lives.

It is only human to want to identify those responsible and make them pay for their act. But when doing so, be must be mindful to not let emotions get in the way, and be as rational as possible. I say this because as I type this post, there are several videos and articles on google showing how the DJ's who conducted the prank call are being vilified, and how their boss should fire them. I wonder however, how many of these people who "Demand justice" for Mrs Saldahna were also laughing along to the hoax before Mrs Saldahna chose to take her life (If in fact she did commit suicide. According to the 5 articles I've just read and watched, while her cause of death is not classified as "suspicious" at this time, suicide is not the final verdict. She could very well have been attacked by a misguided UK patriot for all we know at this point, or even have succumbed to a medical condition. It simply has not yet been determined). I would wager the answer is most if not all. And if that is the case, I would also go so far as to say that those people are (though possibly to a slightly lesser extent) as responsible for this tragic situation as the DJ's themselves.

Maybe it is too soon to point this out, but it must not be forgotten that, when it all comes down to it, if this was a suicide (and it likely is but is not confirmed to be), it was Mrs Saldanha who made the final decision to go through with it. YES, she was going through a terrible ordeal that she did not ask to be put in the middle of. I get that. But it was her choice. To not put the final responsibility on her would be no different than not putting the final responsibility on someone who chose to take the life of a child while they were going through a terrible ordeal. It really is the same thing, and we are all accountable for the DIRECT result of our actions and decisions. And please understand I did not post this to incite anger. I did so to bring light to certain areas of this case that many would subconsciously (and consciously) "overlook."

In summation. This is a terrible tragedy that I truly wish did not happen. I mean that as much as any does save those who actually knew Mrs Saldanha. Yet while I acknowledge that it WAS the 2 DJ's that started this butterfly effect, they truly had no way of knowing that the death of a wonderful woman would be the result.

08RNGrad · Dec 14, 2012

I too have wondered about the nurse who actually gave the information to the caller. We will most likely never know what really caused her to take her own life. From the surface, it seems tragic that she would take her own life over something like this. Her guilt must have been awful. From reports I've seen, her husband said she had not shared the incident. Perhaps if she had talked about it, he could have helped her cope. Such a tragic situation all around; for the nurse, her family, and the pranksters..imagine that guilt.

SwansonRN · Dec 14, 2012

Brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful letter. My heart breaks over this situation every time I read about it again

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2012

It's not that I am singling out the DJs in general, as I certainly wouldn't want to walk in their shoes. I too am a joke lover, practical joking lover, and believe humor is one of my favorite aspects of being "human." I'm sure had it gone "right" and the Nurses slammed down the phone- even the crustiest among us could at least smile at the "queen calling"-later on.

It didn't happen that way though, and it cost a precious life- for whatever reason. I too have had very high profile patients, and the fear of something happening on my watch is sheer terror(i.e. "like" the Quaid Twins)!

My heart goes out to first her family, her friends and colleagues, all involved, and the way this will play out. Either way I spin it in my head, I hold her blameless.

It was her Queen! As an American, I can't fully understand the weight of being responsible for the British Empire's "Monarch's" family member! So, regardless, I have the utmost respect for Nurses with that courage, skillset, and nerves of steel- sometimes even steel shatters, bends, or breaks.

The Grand Lesson is our Whole Life Can Change in One Moment. We should treasure each day as a gift:)

2015RN2b · Dec 14, 2012

I agree with your response. Just doesn't seem to add up or make sense. It's all very unfortunate and definitely not worth taking your own life over. I feel horrible for her children and husband.

adrenal · Dec 14, 2012

Dearest British "Hoaxed" Nurse (Nurse Saldanha):
As an American Nurse I know our scope may be different, but we are both "nurses" none-the-less. There is more that is in-common, than is different. We both have strengths and weaknesses. We both aim to serve societies ills to the best of our ability, and ease pain and suffering from the lowest of the low, to the top of the elite.
We give nonjudgmental holistic care, and even though we may fuss and whine about our job in private amongst our peers, we love our profession! And, our patients would never be able to guess our bad days because we are also professionals at masking pain, worry, anxiety, and depression as we go through our day.
You know as well as I, there's never enough hours in that day! I'm so sorry your no longer here with us, but you will never be forgotten. Your death was not in-vain. I pledge to pay closer attention to my staff colleagues, and their issues-whether new or current, or something they've been struggling with- and still serve at the bedside, clinic, or even at the Midlevel position.
I am so sorry such a thoughtless act of treachery took you from the world for a "laugh" at the most. I share in the millions mourning your death, and I hold no judgement for you. You, as we're programmed to do, put your self at the bottom of the issue- even as "disposable," as the problem you didn't asked for- seemed bigger than yourself.
I'm so sorry you are gone(taken from your family and "us"), but as long as we arm ourselves with knowledge that our whole life can change in a split moment, and that there are those out there that obviously don't respect the intensity of our pressures: You did not die in vain.
You will ever be present in our heart as a martyr for the truth of the rigors of our profession, and the Nursing Profession feels and mourns your unfair and untimely loss!
We hear in the News you were a trustworthy, dedicated, compassionate, and knowlegable colleage to have. That's the highest praise a Nurse could hope for-You Will be Missed!
In never-ending love,
Boston, and:
Your Brothers and Sisters of the International Nursing Profession!
May You Rest in Eternal Peace!!!!!!!
Please add your Condolences or Respects if you wish.

my deapest condolonces to the bereaved family.

adrenal · Dec 14, 2012

my deapest condolonces to the bereaved family.

DeLana_RN, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2012

I'm thinking there is a bit more to this story that doesn't meet the eye. The hospital stood by this nurse AND the royals insisted that she would not be retaliated...so I think she was already mentally unstable to begin with.

That is assuming that this is true. I seriously doubt that the hospital would NOT have thrown the nurse(s) under the bus, although I'm more inclined to believe that the royal family would have let it go.

PRICHARILLAisMISSED · Dec 14, 2012

It was her Queen! As an American, I can't fully understand the weight of being responsible for the British Empire's "Monarch's" family member! So, regardless, I have the utmost respect for Nurses with that courage, skillset, and nerves of steel- sometimes even steel shatters, bends, or breaks.
The Grand Lesson is our Whole Life Can Change in One Moment. We should treasure each day as a gift:)

This is also something to consider. As Americans we view our leaders much differently than the British do. For instance you cant go a week without a disrespectful comment from AN AMERICAN about our President, Senators or Congressmen and Women. But I've always been under the impression that the British have much more respect for their Royal family. Much more loyalty and compassion.

Beautiful Mind RN · Dec 14, 2012

I cannot help but feel sad for this nurse, who, in my opinion, was taken advantage of, all in the name of a joke. Despite any circumstances that may surround it...i.e. if she had issues beforehand and this was the last trigger that sent her over the edge or she truly had lost all confidence to where she just ultimately broke down or even if she was teased to an extreme by her coworkers because of what happened...it still was an unnecessary sacrifice.

I am not one who is usually negative and I do have a sense of humor, but there is a limit to it. I am quite glad that the radio hosts behind the whole shindig were taken off the air. They now carry with them...the burden of another life.

All and all, I pray for the nurse and her loved ones. RIP.

Overland1, RN · Dec 14, 2012

This is also something to consider. As Americans we view our leaders much differently than the British do. For instance you cant go a week without a disrespectful comment from AN AMERICAN about our President, Senators or Congressmen and Women. But I've always been under the impression that the British have much more respect for their Royal family. Much more loyalty and compassion.

I will bet that many here do not even remember when Presidents, Senators, and Representatives earned the respect of most citizens. More recently, not so much. The Executive and Legislative branches of government at federal and state levels have become a long term source of income (paid for by our dollars) for many who cannot succeed at anything else. Not entirely their fault, but mostly ours.

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Dec 14, 2012

I feel an extreme grief for her children right here at Christmas. I don't want to offend anyone(if you know my posts, you know that); Please remember her children are totally innocent and...

I know this isn't a "spiritual" thread so-to-speak, but I just lift those children up more than anyone, I know their hearts are breaking right now. I just hope they know their mothers life was "just" as valuable as the patient she obviously felt as though she failed. I can not imagine how they will feel when old enough to process this. Can you imagine?

The loss is overwhelming on so many levels, but surely it must open some important questions when the shock wears off. I think we all have unanswered questions, and if her safety or her family was threatened- it's obvious why she did it. A mother's love defies all understanding- and they have been deprived of that blessed free gift too early.

*Those of you that pray, please lift them up- my heart breaks for them. They have a tough road ahead!

*I force my belief on no one, and I respect yours.