Dating Coworkers??

Nurses Relations

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What are your thoughts and ideas about this... many people that I work with are married to people that they met working but I can see how it could be very complicated as well.

Specializes in Renal. cardiac. neonatal. urology.

There are plenty of fish in the sea - why do you need to pick someone so close to the pond.. or better yet:

"don't **** where you eat"

I'm strongly against it.

1. can make your co-workers uncomfortable

2. rumors can easily start

3. It's a distraction - 100% focus on patients

4. When you have a argument it puts everyone in an akward position.

I've witness a few marriages and successful relationships - but these are just a few of the isses we as a 'team' on the ward had to face.

Specializes in med-surg, teaching, cardiac, priv. duty.

Generally, I'd say don't date a co-worker. I've usually avoided even becoming too close of friends with co-workers. It is so important for a nurse to be objective, and not start making subjective decisions because someone is her friend. However, I must say I am being a bit of a hypocrite here! haha! When I was 20 years old and a brand new RN, I met my husband who was a nurse assistant at my work. We got married less than a year later. And this summer we will have been married 17 years! So these things can work out! However, there can be issues...As a new nurse, I really struggled to adjust to nursing. I even had to be put back on orientation because I obviously needed more! One of the nurse supervisors told me that she wondered if the reason I was having a hard time adjusting to nursing was because I was distracted by my boyfriend working on the floor. Grrrr....I was rather annoyed by this...because he really was not distracting me from my job. I was/am very conscientious and focused. But I was simply overwhelmed by the real world of nursing. Looking back today as a 38 year old, 20 yrs old is awfully young to be a RN! I'm not surprised I needed extra orientation...

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I don't think I'll have this problem - because my husband knows I'm an OB nurse and still thinks babies come from the stork. He has no idea what I do at work, nor does he WANT to know. "Every story you have is gross, honey."

If I were single, though, I'd err on the side of caution - not dating coworkers. It would be too hard to focus on work @ work were the other person there. And, if things ever DID end badly, I would not want THAT to make focusing even harder.

I have no problem with others doing it, though, as long as they keep things professional at work. One of our attendings married a resident; I didn't even know they were dating until she came in to have her baby, and by then they were married. (Hey, wait a minute...you and you? Together? With a BABY?) And, one of my fellow nurses is marrying a resident soon; ditto them. I had no idea they were together until someone else told me.

This to me is highly up to the individual, though as the daughter of someone who dated her boss once and things ended very badly, I don't think I'd do it.

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I guess it is hard because work takes up so much of our time that it can be natural to develop an intimate relationship with persons who can identify with our situations and stressors. Many of my relationships started from work and were uncomfortable, even disasterous because once we broke up, it was more uncomfortable. I had decided never to date on the job again. THEN, I met my husband, the love of my life at work 12 years ago. At first, I was more resistant because of my past experiences, but thankfully, I put it to the side because he is truly my soul mate. We work in different departments and now work different shifts, which makes it even better. We don't interfere with each other's roles in the hospital and we actually get to miss each other because he works evenings to my days, and he has alternate weekends off to my every weekend.

I usually tell people to proceed with caution when dating on the job, to at least try to evaluate if the person is mature enough to keep private issues to themselves, not embarass each other and most importantly, are the two people able to at least remain civil and respectful if it is over. Also, consider the position of the person. If this person's position is one that can be determental to my career such as a supervisor, administrator, someone in charge of me somehow or can somehow influence how the important people in my work space can think of me, I would probably not do it.

Though it may be cool... a potential break-up or workplace drama that could ensue makes it not worth it to me, IMO. Plus (at past work places), I have seen some co-workers purposely try to flirt with another's mate at work just for drama (just like high school -sigh)...naw, I'll pass! I would have enough to deal with :)

I must say that is cool that some of y'all met your mates in the workplace!

Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.

DH and I met in nursing school. We've always worked different units. We know we wouldn't work well together at work, and we have different nursing interests.

Specializes in Derm/Wound Care/OP Surgery/LTC.

Ugh. I prefer to leave the drama on Grey's Anatomy! :)

Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.

my other half is also a nurse on my floor.

we work on separate wings, are not allowed to waste narcs together and he cannot cosign any high risk meds for me and vise versa (which is required for stuff like insulin and heparin).

we met at work four years ago and have been together ever since. it never has really been a problem for us. we have always been professional about it. our manager hired us under the pretense that we were a package deal and she is ok with it, just as long as we are not put in a position to get ourselves in trouble (i guess by working on the same hall)....

I have seen married couples actually work on the same unit and when their marriage turned south, it was not a pretty site. Too much drama and too much side taking which has an adverse effect on morale.

When I was single, my rule was NOT to date ANYONE I worked with just for such reasons.

I met my BF at a hospital where I was doing my last OB rotation,I did not plan this it just happend.However I started dating him after I was done with this hospital.

Specializes in LTC, geriatric, psych, rehab.

I must say that I agree with everyone who advises not to date people where you work. And yet, I met the love of my life at work. For that matter, he is my boss, which I would have said was an even bigger no-no. I did not intentionally set out to do this. I'm the director of nursing at the nursing home, and he was hired afterwards as the new administrator. We kept things very quiet for a long time rather than risk bothering anyone. Finally some of our employees told us they knew it, thought it was wonderful for us, and to stop trying to hide the fact. It was a policy with our corporate office for the administrative staff not to date each other, so when we explained the situation, I offered to go work elsewhere. Someone from corporate came to our facility and interviewed the staff. To a person, they said they were happy and quite comfortable with the situation. I have worked there a long time, and they knew I'd been very lonely. We are close, so I was so relieved with the corporate boss said since everyone was okay with it, that they were okay with it, and there was no need for either of us to go to work elsewhere.

I have seen it be a real problem, so I still wouldn't advise it. But it can work.

I also think you shouldn't drive a car. You could get into an accident.

And yesterday we had a guy pronounced brain dead after choking on a piece of steak. What the heck was he thinking eating "steak"? Everybody knows not to eat steak cause you "could" choke on it.

I have no problem with people choosing for themselves to limit their enjoyment of life and relationships, they understand their limitations better than anybody. But to pronounce that it should never be done and should be avoided by any and all is just smothering.

Relationships go bad and they suck, but it's not going to be any better or any worse for those 2 people just because they work in the same place. Their issues will just plain suck.

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