Closed Unit cliques ...how do I deal with it ????

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Dec 30, 2009

So sad

DogWmn · Dec 30, 2009

I've dealt with those types of cliques in and out of nursing at the work place. I don't live to work, I work to live. I have a very full life outside of work, friend and hobbies that keep me busy. I'm there to do a job and be a professional. I recommend leading by example, be polite and professional at all times and do your job.

I worked at one place in a large group and the managers were quite young and it was party hardy every night after work, I had no interest in sitting around a bar every night and since I was a contract worker, when my contract ended I was not renewed because I didn't "play"...no regrets.

If they mention events in front of you, just say "that sounds like fun and have a great time".

IHeartPeds87 · Dec 30, 2009

Just another tip. I am only going from the initial post, and really am just offerring another suggestion.

I find this occurs a lot with my friends that are shy. I have a really good friend that is the shyest person I know! Because I knew her so well, I knew when she was interested in becoming friends with someone new that we had met...but she really didn't come off that way. Her shyness made it seem like she was kind of...cold. I always felt bad for her because that totally wasn't the case, but she was coming off that way.

The best solution that I have for you is to maybe start initiating things with your coworkers outside of work. I wouldn't suggest that you try to become best friends with them, and at the end of the day your job and your patients is why you go to work. Having a decent/friendly "hey how are you how was your weekend" relationship with your coworkers may make your work atmosphere more friendlier and may make your working hours go by smoother. I suggest YOU initiate things that you and your coworkers can do. You never know, right?

If, despite your efforts, you still aren't fitting in or they are being catty...don't sweat it.

Know that nursing is your job...make your friends and lead your personal life OUTSIDE the walls of the hospital/work place

llg, PhD, RN · Dec 30, 2009

There is an old saying: "The best way to have a friend is to be one."

If you want friends at work, then make friends with the new people who are hired. Join a newbie for lunch in the break room ... have coffee with another newbie ... etc. Build some relationships one at a time with the people who are not already "socially committeed." After a little time, there will be enough of them to form a nice circle of friends.

Don't wait to be asked to join the group. Take the intitiate to plan your own fun activities and invite a few people who are likely to say "yes." As you do that, time will pass and you will develop a new, friendlier image for yourself.

Unit cultures don't change overnight... but people can gradually change a culture by simply creating a parallel subculture of friendliness and support for one another. As time passes and the unit experiences turnover, the culture gradually becomes what you have made it.

firstyearstudent · Dec 30, 2009

I'm always afraid that people WILL ask me to socialize with them -- then I'll either have to do it so I don't look snobby or I'll have to risk hurting someone's feelings. I'm way too busy with three little ones and a home life that is overwhelming. I don't get to socialize with the friends I have outside of work.

My advice is to not worry so much about getting friends at work. Focus on being a good coworker -- someone they can trust, depend upon and who they can turn to for help. It's WAY more important.

mudd68 · Dec 30, 2009

I agree with you first year! Although I'm not busy with kids and such, I still don't want people from work asking me to do things (unless of course, it involves a potluck luncheon in the conference room, lol), b/c then I feel bad about not doing it/showing up! Don't get me wrong, most of my co-workers are great, we have fun while on the job and I'm sure they'd be lovely company. But let's not blur the lines between professional and social relationships.

caffeineRx · Feb 12, 2010

I'm SO sorry. Do you happen to live in NYC? lol

erroridiot · Feb 12, 2010

u could bring them food to break the ice

bring them chips and dips, very rich dips

bring them cookies with extra butter, chocolate and nuts

fatten them up

candy

cinnamon rolls

extra rich banana bread

donuts, lots of donuts......

ITALY123 · Feb 12, 2010

Lemme just tell you that 99 percent of the time the nurses in "the clique" pay more attention to themselves and there social life instead of patients. The patient comes first in all we do. You should not let it bother you one bit. You are changing peoples lives daily. Just focus on all the good you are bringing to patients and there families and that will be more than worth it! :specs:

caffeineRx · Feb 12, 2010

u could bring them food to break the ice
bring them chips and dips, very rich dips
bring them cookies with extra butter, chocolate and nuts
fatten them up
candy
cinnamon rolls
extra rich banana bread
donuts, lots of donuts......

I highly suggest against this, unless it is just to make them fat. LOL!

sasha2lady · Sep 23, 2011

I wouldn't read too much into it really. Do your thing on your off work time. Seems like its a little bit purposeful...as if they are maybe trying to get you to come forward and say hey....I wanna do that too whats up?.....

There are cliques everywhere. Where I work day shift is particularly known for it. And they are thick as thieves.

I have one nurse that I am really good friends with and one cna that I'm close to out of about 100+ total employees. The rest I don't associate with except in passing as I go in to work or leave.