clique in the workplace

Nurses Relations

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So I started a new job 2 weeks ago -I've been a nurse for 5.5 years...the new job is going well just a difficult adjustment for me...I am NOT a loud outgoing person which is COMMONLY mistaken for being stuck up and cold...which I am far from. I started orientation with one girl, things were ok but she made sure she pointed out my mistakes in front of the patient (I've trained a good amount of people and NEVER did this) to the point of getting nervous around her with patients which isn't fair...the next two days were better but I was oriented with different people who were much calmer than the first girl and more patient. Granted I have been in the unit for years and now am working also in a surgical center- all this quick fast moving pre op stuff is gonna take me some time to get used to it. I had a hard time starting iv's with the catheters at my new job...at my old job I was called to start and could start the hardest veins. But I think today I almost lost it a few times and it began with another nurse telling my patient (who I missed the iv stick) "Oh I never go there {spot where I just went to start my IV} those veins are always too deep" I was kinda shocked but just went on with my day...the second patient same thing they told the patient "oh I never start iv's there" it was in the wrist area- which is a spot I go to sometimes...these comments make me feel incompetent and I don't think should be made, I would never say something like that...

Most of the nurses sit and chit chat in the afternoon as we are doing our checks for the next day...I pick my corner and get to work and do what I am there to do..but again I think people misread me for being stuck up and cold...again I will help anyone but I am not the most talkative person with my co workers about personal things...so I get stuck doing most of the checks in my little corner so we can get the work done. Plus there are sometimes patients recovering and I personally think it is very rude to be chit chatting while they are there like they do but then I feel like I am being the stuck up person who is goody two shoes only since I am doing what I am supposed to do...

I am not looking to make friends at work but I am not looking to be the one sitting all alone in my corner either.. I am just having a hard time adjusting and I feel awful- I should not have to hold back tears from feeling so excluded and feel like an incompetent nurse which I know I am not but feel like I am viewed as suppppper quiet and shy...guess I need more self confidence and I am not sure where to find it =(

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

Are you working in a PACU? You may want to cross train for admissions or ASU if this position is not a good fit.

It is outpatient surgery...

Hi Starfish, reading your story reminded me of an article I read here on AN not too long ago. It is about the importance of social skills in the workplace. I do not mean to imply that you are lacking in social skills, but reading about how there seems to be a mismatch between how others perceive you (as "stuck up and cold") vs how you see yourself (as quiet and shy) made me think that perhaps you could benefit from reading the article. Here is a link: https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/social-skills-in-965459.html

One of the take away points that I got from reading the article, is that if we want to foster a good working relationship with our coworkers, sometimes we have to project ourselves as something other than our true inner selves. Although I don't have the same struggle that you do, in terms of being quiet and shy, I can sometimes be seen as abrupt, uncaring, and rude. The article helped remind me that I sometimes need to plaster a smile on my face even when I don't particularly feel like it, and even sometimes feign interest in others when I really just want to walk away from them droning on about some topic about which I could not care less, lol. Developing a "friendly" relationship with coworkers is not the same thing as developing a friendship with coworkers. But you may find that doing a little "play acting" at work - smiling, initiating a conversation, asking coworkers about their weekend, etc - can go a long way in helping them to want to include you and treating you like part of the team instead of the odd man out.

Specializes in Med Surg.

I think you need to grow some thicker skin. Some nurses are mean, vindictive jerks but that doesn't mean you should let them dictate your feelings.

Focus your attention on the things you can control, like taking care of patients. If you find your satisfaction in that, you will go home happy no matter what idiot coworkers do.

I am going through this a bit on my unit as well. One 20+ year nurse in particular has been trying to get to me. Always rolling her eyes, making sarcastic remarks, trying to talk down to me. I worked a day shift recently and was working with a CNA who is a friend of hers. Thinking I could not see her, she stopped in my work area, made eye contact with the CNA gestured toward me and shook her head. Real gradeschool stuff. The CNA nodded and shook his head as well. He then proceeded to completely ignore my patients, making sure he couldn't do glucs, vital signs, or anything else - and I had one very brittle patient on an insulin drip.

It doesn't bother me, because she is really a piece of work. Sure, you only have my side, but I run circles around her as a nurse (and a person really) while she tries to get anyone else to do her work for her and refuses to learn anything. There is no way these two pinheads are going to decide how I feel about myself or my career.

So after a few years on this unit, my learning curve has started to flatten and I'm looking to move within the organization. As far as my two moron coworkers go, reports have been filed and they will soon learn that revenge is a dish best served cold.

First off, BE that person in the corner doing their work. I guarantee you that the first patient who writes a PG survey comment about "nurses chit-chatting while I was 'in pain' and resting" will get some attention to what the nurses are doing while people are recovering. Make sure your life outside of the facility is full and happy. Who cares if they include you or not? Sometimes it is oh so much better to not get involved--more than a "good morning" level.

Otherwise, I would think about that most outpatient surgery policies talk about where the preferred IV site is. In the one that I am aware of, right hand only, or right forearm if the hand is impossible to get. So if you can, I would look this up and see what the policy says. Then concentrate your efforts on that area. If it is a different type of catheter than you are used to, there will be a learning curve. If there's a stool that you can sit on so that a patient's hand/forearm can be manipulated down toward where you are sitting at a lower level, that is sometimes easier than standing over someone attempting to start an IV. The angle is better. If Oh So Helpful, RN is making comments about what she does or does not do, "Thank you so much for your input!! I will take it under advisement!!" and go about doing your thing. OR "Thanks for the input. Could you get a flush/op site/spike some fluid for me? Thanks so much!"

You are a multi year experienced nurse. Don't let this get you down. They all wanna play "this is my whole, entire life in this facility" game--let them. The best thing that you can do is to stay outta the fray.

Best wishes!

Definitely . . . you don't have to bow your head and crinkle your shoulders in humiliation, even when you are in the presence of a jerk.

I was awkward and shy as a young girl, and then I became a nurse. I was awkward and shy as a younger nurse and cringed and burned with embarrassment, all of that. Slowly over the years, it started becoming more 'natural' to be 'one of the girls', it was like . . . a learning curve. I laughed at their jokes (or smiled if they weren't funny), I put on a 'friendly face' as I sort of have a resting #$%@# face. I turned toward them and did all the nonverbal 'I'm interested in what you are saying'.

It became natural. My social skills in general are darn good, now, and I attribute it to learning on the job as a nurse. I could keep a conversation going with a schizophrenic at the bus stop.

As for the very unhelpful nurse 'correcting' you in front of patients . . . there are remedies for that.

"Oh, really? I was told NEVER to use those veins over there! [the veins the unhelpful nurse pointed out] I wouldn't want to hurt the patient!" And blink, wide eyed, innocently. She'll get the picture :) You don't have to ACCEPT that kind of behavior, and just hunker down and burn with shame. You don't have to take her out in the hall and confront her, either.

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