Best way to deal with rudeness?

  1. In general, what is your approach to dealing with inappropriate or rude remarks from co-workers? Don’t be shy- I really want to know.
    Last edit by TheCommuter on Jul 6, '11
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   mommy2boys
    I do one of two things. I either kill them with kindness (being so sweet to them it almost drives them as nutty as they were driving me by being rude) or I am just short with them (making as little conversation, interaction with them as possible).

    I don't like to confront someone about their rudness so I usually just ignore them.

    HTH
    Erin
  4. by   dano
    It depends on the level of rudeness. I deal with rude people every single day working retail.

    If they're not too bad, I kill them with kindness. Don't let their behavior be reflected in how you react; smile, have an upbeat tone in your voice, and when the conversation is over, wish them a happy day. This really pisses them off, but it's a great method because it will never backfire in your face from upper management. You can't be yelled at for being kind.

    And if they're really terrible, I shoot them down. Find a slick comeback for anything they say. Sadly most people out there, especially ones with short tempers, aren't of the high IQ standard. You should have no problem shutting them up real quick. If they don't quit after that, just walk away because you're only going to say things you'll regret later.
  5. by   moongirl
    I generally can fix it by looking them in the eye and saying" I am sorry you feel that way."
  6. by   LuvMyGamecocks
    On the topic of rudeness....my 2 little girls and I took Daddy to dinner for his birthday. Took the 4 yo to the bathroom, where she waited to wash her hands after using the bathroom. The woman she was waiting on couldn't figure out that the Automatic Sensor Paper Towel Dispenser was broke, so my 4 year old points to the hand dryer and says, "Ma'am (she actually said ma'am, I was so proud), I think you can use that instead." The woman gave my little girl an eat poop look and said, "I know that!!!" My little girl turned to me and said, "Mom, she's rude. I wasn't rude to her. Why was she rude to me??"

    It's hard being a kid.

    Carry on....
  7. by   vamedic4
    Quote from LuvMyGamecocks
    On the topic of rudeness....my 2 little girls and I took Daddy to dinner for his birthday. Took the 4 yo to the bathroom, where she waited to wash her hands after using the bathroom. The woman she was waiting on couldn't figure out that the Automatic Sensor Paper Towel Dispenser was broke, so my 4 year old points to the hand dryer and says, "Ma'am (she actually said ma'am, I was so proud), I think you can use that instead." The woman gave my little girl an eat poop look and said, "I know that!!!" My little girl turned to me and said, "Mom, she's rude. I wasn't rude to her. Why was she rude to me??"

    It's hard being a kid.

    Carry on....

    Good for your daughter Gamecocks!!!

    Rudeness comes with our line of work, unfortunately. I had an elderly lady several years ago that we were transporting from one facility to another who talked and talked to her family ad nauseum prior to our leaving, but insisted on not talking to me no matte what I tried. She'd stick her tongue out, spit...spllllllttt...try to hit...whatever...but she never said a word.

    You just go about things as if she couldn't communicate - explaining everything you're doing...and killing them with kindness.

    Then you go home and pray you never end up like her.

    :spin: vamedic4
    has a head as big as Jimmy Neutron
  8. by   fergus51
    My favorite is to say "Are you intentionally being rude to me or am I misreading you?". Never had anyone continue to be rude after that.\
  9. by   gitterbug
    I agree that killing them with kindness is the best way to handle most rude people. But, sometimes, if the behavior is repeated and kindness does not work, then say, "I know you are not aware that some of your comments have been rude and unkind. What can I do to help you change the way
    you are coming across to staff/people?" Has worked for me well.
  10. by   gitterbug
    Gamecock,
    Good manners are a mark of intelligence. I am sure your children are bright and beautiful. Have a good day.
  11. by   cfrimer
    Quote from fergus51
    My favorite is to say "Are you intentionally being rude to me or am I misreading you?". Never had anyone continue to be rude after that.\
    I love this! It's direct without being rude in return, and it leaves the person room to correct his or her ways without losing too much face.
  12. by   goats'r'us
    Quote from LuvMyGamecocks
    On the topic of rudeness....my 2 little girls and I took Daddy to dinner for his birthday. Took the 4 yo to the bathroom, where she waited to wash her hands after using the bathroom. The woman she was waiting on couldn't figure out that the Automatic Sensor Paper Towel Dispenser was broke, so my 4 year old points to the hand dryer and says, "Ma'am (she actually said ma'am, I was so proud), I think you can use that instead." The woman gave my little girl an eat poop look and said, "I know that!!!" My little girl turned to me and said, "Mom, she's rude. I wasn't rude to her. Why was she rude to me??"

    It's hard being a kid.

    Carry on....
    i would have throttled her!!

    there is absolutely no excuse for being rude to a little kid, especially when they're being polite and trying to help.

    i suppose nothing spells humiliation like being outsmarted by a four-year-old. now, if only your child had the nouse to reply 'well it doesn't look like it' or 'then why are you still waving your hands in front of that?'.

    pity that woman, who's not big enough to say thankyou.
  13. by   goats'r'us
    Quote from LuvMyGamecocks
    On the topic of rudeness....my 2 little girls and I took Daddy to dinner for his birthday. Took the 4 yo to the bathroom, where she waited to wash her hands after using the bathroom. The woman she was waiting on couldn't figure out that the Automatic Sensor Paper Towel Dispenser was broke, so my 4 year old points to the hand dryer and says, "Ma'am (she actually said ma'am, I was so proud), I think you can use that instead." The woman gave my little girl an eat poop look and said, "I know that!!!" My little girl turned to me and said, "Mom, she's rude. I wasn't rude to her. Why was she rude to me??"

    It's hard being a kid.

    Carry on....
    i would have throttled her!!

    there is absolutely no excuse for being rude to a little kid, especially when they're being polite and trying to help.

    i suppose nothing spells humiliation like being outsmarted by a four-year-old. now, if only your child had the nouse to reply 'well it doesn't look like it' or 'then why are you still waving your hands in front of that?'.

    pity that woman, who's not big enough to say thankyou. i thank kids for things like this even when they're pointing out the bleeding obvious, because it's no skin off my nose and it helps them feel good and be confident.
  14. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from Gods child
    In general, what is your approach to dealing with inappropriate or rude remarks from co-workers? Don't be shy- I really want to know.
    I dealt with rudeness last night. However, it was a patient's husband who was being rude.

    He wanted to know if his wife was going to be discharged home with her foley catheter. I told him that I would check on it after I helped the two family members who had asked questions before him. He became belligerant and obnoxious (I could smell the liquor on his breath) and started yelling at me about how he was waiting too long. I grabbed my medicare charting and walked away from the nurses station to the break room where I could chart in peace. Basically, I ignored this person. He had too much alcohol in his system to be reasonable.

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