Being called a racial slur by a patient I sat?

  1. I made another thread about this patient, they were suicidal so obviously not in the right state of mind but I'm still bothered by hearing that word. In the 20 years I lived within America I never heard this word before.

    The word he called me was the n word, three times. I was actually in shocked when he said it...

    I know that you're expected to hear racist and sexist things within this profession, but how do you get over it?


    I'm a patient attendant by the way...
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  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   meanmaryjean
    You say to yourself "Some people are jerks." Repeatedly.

    However, if you're going to dwell on this and let it get to you to the point where you post incessantly online about it- well, maybe this is not for you. Not trying to be insensitive- but if you cannot let this go, you're going to be miserable at your own expense for a long time.
  4. by   hppygr8ful
    Quote from meanmaryjean
    You say to yourself "Some people are jerks." Repeatedly.

    However, if you're going to dwell on this and let it get to you to the point where you post incessantly online about it- well, maybe this is not for you. Not trying to be insensitive- but if you cannot let this go, you're going to be miserable at your own expense for a long time.
    What she said: I work in psych and get called all kinds of offensive names - I even got kicked in the leg on Friday. My dad used to say that sometimes you have to be like a duck and let certain things roll off your back like water off a duck.

    I agree with Maryjean (I don't think she's mean at all) If these kinds of thins: Scheduling mishaps and being called names puts you in this state then nursing is probably not for you.

    Where I work I have my own unit that I am in charge of - Adolescent's 13-17. We currently have a shortage of nursing at my facility so sometimes I get called to another unit. I never know this has happened until I arrive. It makes me angry at first but I just suck it up and soldier on. This facility has been very good to me generally.

    Hope this helps

    Hppy
  5. by   CrunchRN
    They will call you names. If you are overweight they will call you fatty and worse. They are messed up and you are not so you have to find a way to not internalize it.
  6. by   caliotter3
    You could work in a pencil factory and get called names by your coworkers. That's part of life.
  7. by   Hygiene Queen
    Sometimes you'll encounter nasty people who thrive from causing other people discomfort. They want nothing more than to see you react.

    The best thing you can do is to not react at all. When you display calm indifference, you ruin their fun.

    Don't give them the satisfaction. Don't feed the beast. Learn "The Poker Face". You win when you don't give them what they want... which is a reaction.

    Remind yourself that they are saying that because they are a broken person. Don't waste your energy dwelling on it. This person's comment isn't worth your time.
  8. by   Windyhill
    Yes. In psych, you can forget it. You will be called everything. Usually these patients are very unhappy and not thinking straight. Many were put down and humiliated themselves by their own family. So they do the same to others. "I feel small, so I need to make someone else feel small so that I can feel more powerful" " I know, I can call her a "n" or fat bleep, bleep... I feel sorry for these people and don't take it personally..
  9. by   Glycerine82
    You've never heard that word? I've been called that word by psych patients and I'm white. Just shrug it off, it's par for the course, unfortunately.

    Psych patients don't play by the rules, especially if they have dementia.
  10. by   BSNbeDONE
    As an African-American/Caucasian/Indian mix, the only name I've ever been called is *****. Many years ago, I had a schizophrenic nursing home resident who called me Miss ***** for the full 4 years that I worked there, as if ***** was my legal last name. Although I loathe anyone who would use the word that you were called (even within the race among each other), those who do are going to call you something other than your name anyway. What would be acceptable to you? It's not what you're called, it's what you answer to that matters.

    I'm not judging, condoning, siding-with, or anything; just simply making my observation.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Mar 20 : Reason: TOS
  11. by   BSNbeDONE
    My mistake. I thought I was responding to different OPs. But this is the same OP who is using a different username. So I restate my deleted response, and that is that we now know the real reason behind your wanting to file a report about that sitter case.
  12. by   JadedCPN
    You get over it by not letting it get under your skin in the first place. Patients of all sorts, whether psych or not, are going to say mean hurtful things for various reasons. I've also been called horrible names, and I work pediatrics, and usually I have a hard time not laughing about it because ultimately it just doesn't matter.
  13. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Rayrayma
    I made another thread about this patient, they were suicidal so obviously not in the right state of mind but I'm still bothered by hearing that word. In the 20 years I lived within America I never heard this word before.

    The word he called me was the n word, three times. I was actually in shocked when he said it...

    I know that you're expected to hear racist and sexist things within this profession, but how do you get over it?


    I'm a patient attendant by the way...
    Some patients are jerks. They'll insult you, curse at you and call you names. I wish I had a dollar for every patient that's called me "Fat white (bad word that rhymes with itch)", "(bad word that rhymes with punt)", told me that I was completely lacking in compassion, empathy or any human feelings, stated that they hoped someone killed me in my sleep, on my way home from work or in the employee parking lot or threatened to do so themselves. I'd be sitting on a beach sipping umbrella drinks instead of hanging out here waiting for snow. If you're going to get this upset every time someone insults you, you're going to make yourself needlessly miserable. Get over it already.
  14. by   NurseLife88
    Some people just are not nice. There will always be people whom are racist, prejudiced, etc. As hard as it to let these negative comments slide off your shoulder it's harder to hold onto it. Letting the stuff like this go really goes a long way towards your own mental health. What someone says about you does not matter nearly as much as what you know and believe of yourself. Be proud of who you are regardless of what plenty of people will have to say. Being of mixed race I have been called every name in the book. It used to really bother me, sometimes even to the point of tears, but eventually I realized the negative things other people say about me really says more about them than anything else. Sometimes you gotta be like Elsa from Frozen and just "Let it go"

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