Being an ugly nurse

Nurses Relations

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Hi folks. My questions in this thread are actually more serious than they'll seem...

We've discussed at length here how awesome it is to be a young, hot nurse. Well, how about if you're old and ugly? The first strike against me is I'm male. The second strike is I'm going to be past 40 by time I finish Nursing school. My hair is thinning a little and I've got a mild case of rosacea. I'm somewhat overweight, but I've also got a condition known as Diastasis Recti which makes it look like I have a beer gut. I never was a cute little kid to start with and never got to be "young and hot" like everyone else. Basically, I'm at tops a step up from your standard Level 4 bridge troll. In real life, if I'm too nice to people or too eager to help them with anything (an innate flaw of my personality) it somehow translates to "creepy" instead of "kind". This disqualifies me from L&D and Ped for sure, but I'm fine with that.

When a classmate of mine tells people he is going into nursing, the responses he gets are usually "*swoon* nothing like a hot male nurse!". When I tell people, I usually get stuff like "You'll be useful for all the heavy lifting and cleaning up".

Surely some of you Studly Guys and Lovely Ladies have had to work alongside someone who looks like they stepped out of the Mos Eisley Cantina scene before (and I don't mean that in the cool way). Even if the ugly nurse is reasonably intelligent, competent, fairly personable with a great sense of humor and doesn't smell bad, would their dodgy appearance make them more prone to:

1) Discipline for mistakes.

2) Lateral violence.

3) Getting a bedpan dumped in their locker

4) Patients being 'creeped out' in the presence of an ugly old man

5) Jealousy from co-workers (see Mos Eisley comment above)

6) Getting hired in the first place

7) ???

I'm not becoming a nurse to go hit on all the hot young female nurses (as my friends seem to believe) so I'm not overly worried about dating prospects. It's a job, it's a career and I'm driven to help people.

The people I work with now love the crap out of me because I'm good at what I do, I'm good at understanding what THEY do, I'm good at getting everyone and everything to work together and I make the work environment fun and enjoyable with humor and good cheer. However, we're all a bunch of computer/Star Wars/Lego/DnD geeks and we don't work with the public a whole helluva lot.

But nobody goes to a hospital to see ugly people, right? Should I just pack it in and join the circus instead?

Hi!

Give yourself a break!! Anyone worth knowing (co-workers) won't care about your appearance, as long as you're clean and well groomed (I promise). And, rosacea can be very effectively treated. Patients want nurses who take care of them. Again, they will want you to be clean and well groomed. It sounds like you have no problems with your work ethic and personality, so GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! Stand tall, you are a nurse!

Best Wishes!

Hi folks. My questions in this thread are actually more serious than they'll seem...

We've discussed at length here how awesome it is to be a young, hot nurse. Well, how about if you're old and ugly? The first strike against me is I'm male. The second strike is I'm going to be past 40 by time I finish Nursing school. My hair is thinning a little and I've got a mild case of rosacea. I'm somewhat overweight, but I've also got a condition known as Diastasis Recti which makes it look like I have a beer gut. I never was a cute little kid to start with and never got to be "young and hot" like everyone else. Basically, I'm at tops a step up from your standard Level 4 bridge troll. In real life, if I'm too nice to people or too eager to help them with anything (an innate flaw of my personality) it somehow translates to "creepy" instead of "kind". This disqualifies me from L&D and Ped for sure, but I'm fine with that.

When a classmate of mine tells people he is going into nursing, the responses he gets are usually "*swoon* nothing like a hot male nurse!". When I tell people, I usually get stuff like "You'll be useful for all the heavy lifting and cleaning up".

Surely some of you Studly Guys and Lovely Ladies have had to work alongside someone who looks like they stepped out of the Mos Eisley Cantina scene before (and I don't mean that in the cool way). Even if the ugly nurse is reasonably intelligent, competent, fairly personable with a great sense of humor and doesn't smell bad, would their dodgy appearance make them more prone to:

1) Discipline for mistakes.

2) Lateral violence.

3) Getting a bedpan dumped in their locker

4) Patients being 'creeped out' in the presence of an ugly old man

5) Jealousy from co-workers (see Mos Eisley comment above)

6) Getting hired in the first place

7) ???

I'm not becoming a nurse to go hit on all the hot young female nurses (as my friends seem to believe) so I'm not overly worried about dating prospects. It's a job, it's a career and I'm driven to help people.

The people I work with now love the crap out of me because I'm good at what I do, I'm good at understanding what THEY do, I'm good at getting everyone and everything to work together and I make the work environment fun and enjoyable with humor and good cheer. However, we're all a bunch of computer/Star Wars/Lego/DnD geeks and we don't work with the public a whole helluva lot.

But nobody goes to a hospital to see ugly people, right? Should I just pack it in and join the circus instead?

Specializes in ICU.
Only level 4 bridge troll? If you were like, level 70, at least you'd have sweet armor.

I don't really think that looks play a huge role in patient care. If a patient thinks you can do the job well, and they're sick enough to be in the hospital, they really won't care what their nurse looks like! I do like the list you have going there, though. :D

Haha!

get over it,follow your heart,sick people (physically) dont give a damn what their nurse looks like,only how good of a job you do,I cant believe that this is what your thinking,if this really takes up space on your plate you dont have what it takes to be a nurse IMHO,people who judge others by looks are shallow and unworthy of their opinions,focus on things that matter,not imaginary BS !!!

Personally, people who are too pretty make me nervous. If I were in a hospital and had a nurse who was young and pretty? I would be a little prejudiced against...afraid that they got a pass through school and into this job for their looks. Really unfair, but that is how I would feel, especially if they weren't really, really professional.

I am older, fat, and pockmarked, with the thin hair, and when I go out to my hospice patients at night, whether they are rich, poor, high, sober, young or old, angry or accepting, they love, love, love to see me. I love them too, and they know it.

Specializes in acute & emergency.

People don't go to the hospital to ogle at nurses. If you're caring, kind and do your job well - that's all that should matter. Good sense of humor is certainly a bonus, and you seem to have that. I've luckily never seen or heard of anyone getting bullied among their coworkers (or patients!) because of how they look. I obviously can't say it doesn't happen ever, though, but in my opinion... a bully can't ever be a compassionate, respectful (or respectable) nurse.

Don't be so hard on yourself! :hug:

Specializes in Progressive Care.

Dude, what the hell? Nobody cares how you look, this isn't high school. I'm a fat old bald guy as well (40 in Dec). I've been an RN for almost a year and a half. Just don't stink and brush your teeth. Don't screw around and take care of your patients and do your job. Personality wise, just be yourself and don't act like a creep. Yes, you'll work around 97% women, but these are your coworkers. Act professional - that's why they call us PROFESSIONAL Registered Nurses. Help out when you can, and it helps if you can keep a sense of humor when things get hectic. Be caring and comforting. Most of your patients are going to be really old anyway, in my year and a half I've had ONE lady say she wasn't comfortable having a guy take care of her. I guess what I am trying to say is just do your job, everything else is extraneous.

Specializes in CICU.

I often get comments about my appearance from my patients....They are always variations of the following:

"How tall are you?"

"What a great smile!"

Can't help our height, but I think everyone looks better with a smile.

I would like to make this small statement: the responses on this thread in particular, as well as a few others, have sufficiently restored my faith in humanity. Bless you all for being such upstanding, caring, empathetic professionals. If I had a hat I would tip it to you, alas I do not, so I'll just whip my ponytail at you in salute.

Go get em, OP. You got this!

My heart breaks for you. I am so very sorry that you have gotten to the point in your adult life where you believe "ugly" has everything to do with someone's looks, and nothing to do with their soul. Of the things that you are afraid of, you would be working in a professional evironment, not attending freshman year in high school. Other professionals do not usually dump bedpans on people.

You are well regarded in your profession at present. To be able to bring to the table a nursing license even more wonderful. Your self esteem is obviously lacking, however, your confidence in how you do your job should not. Ugliness is such a subjective term, and in my experience has little to do with the art and science of nursing. Scrubs are not made to make people look "cute". One could be considered "gorgeous" and be in nasty dirty wrinkled scrubs, and ya know what? It makes their professional appearance go down about 100 notches. With that being said, it has little to do with the skills that a nurse possesses. I am not attempting to paint the nursing world with power puff girls, bubbles, and party favors, however, most could care less what someone's looks are, but more to do with "have you got my back when it hits the fan"?? Don't self depreciate. How you conduct yourself as a nurse for your patients is all you need to be thinking about.

You are very self conscious and so hard on yourself...stop it!!! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...I'm sure you heard that one before. I work along side some of the most beautiful people I have ever seen with a personality of a Tasmanian devil which quite frankly I avoid like the plague on the other hand I have co-workers that no one pays attention to because of they are not considered attractive but in my eyes are the most beautiful people I have ever met and they shine because they are genuinely kind and caring. Don't focus on your looks...that always fades within years anyway and personality is forever. Just be confident with who you are. All your patients care about is that you are kind, compassionate and if course competent.

I recently visited the ER with my 2 year old son during a pesky asthma attack that wouldn't quit. During our few hour stay we had 2 male nurses, the first was young, new, and some would probably call him good looking (tall, thin, ect...) and the other was mid-40's, short, and balding with coke-bottle glasses. Boy-nurse obviously didn't have much experience with children, though he tried and even brought him some candy and juice to bribe him with, he was shaky and nervous and far from confident. He was a nice kid and we liked him well enough but nurse #2 was witty, kind, gentle, and got down on my son's level where he talked to him, explained what was going on, played with him a little, and just was all around a wonderful nurse. From the perception of a 2 year-old, at least my 2 year-old, looks certainly don't seal the deal. He loved the short, bald, 'goofy' looking nurse and so did I. Though we live in a pretty shallow world, I think you will find that kindness and dedication to your patients and to your job will go a long way :)

plenty of ugly people in nursing. many of your patients will be so out of it they might not know the difference. there will also be less of or none of pts or staff hitting on you!

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