Are married women bullied less at work?

Nurses Relations

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Are women who are married less likely to be bullied than a single woman with no kids??

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
If that's the case, I wish we would quit using the word "bullying." That is not bullying.

That word, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Especially since they are just asking someone to work an extra shift. Generally, our ER first calls nurses who live closest to the hospital to come in if we are short. Does that mean we are bullying those nurses that live closer? Or, are we bullying those nurses that live farther away since they get less calls to pick up overtime?

What if the married staff are generally older than the single?

As we get older, many of us gain confidence. A confident nurse is a less vulnerable target for bullies. Becoming a mother taught me a big lesson in assertiveness and how to squash bad behavior in others immediately.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
If that's the case, I wish we would quit using the word "bullying." That is not bullying.

That word, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

The world would be a better place when we use the words in the appropriate context...but that's a rant for another thread...

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

Bullying sometimes occurs against the odd man/woman. If everybody at work is young, single, and friends with each other, then the only married woman might not "fit in". People who don't fit in get isolated. Once they're isolated sometimes ugly things happen. Just plug in married as the majority, and young single as the minority, to change things around.

This isn't just about married/single.

It could be young/old. Fat/fit.

Even then bullying is not a done deal. Most people are tolerant of differences. Understanding about feelings. There has to be a pretty specific formula in place, in order for any kind of bullying to occur.

If you believe married women are bullied less, it might simply be married women tend to be older, and have left high school behind. A long time ago.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

I love that quote.

I never heard it before I came to AN.

It's inspiring. It strengthens. I could most definitely see myself adopting it as my mantra.

Unfortunately, it's just not true.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I love that quote.

I never heard it before I came to AN.

It's inspiring. It strengthens. I could most definitely see myself adopting it as my mantra.

Unfortunately, it's just not true.

That's open for debate. :blink:

Specializes in Pedi.
Maybe bullying in the sense of management asking you to work extra shifts...somehow if you're married and have kids your free time is worth more than mine because I'm single.

How is that bullying?

In my own experience I can say once I got married I felt so much more secure and confident in my life. It was a huge step for my son and I. I felt like as long as I could go home at the end of the day all my emotional needs were met and that gave me the opportunity to be care less what others thought of me? I think I learned to not put so much stock into others perceptions of me when I worked at 911. We had 60 workers, 9 of whom were women and they knew how to ruin someone's life. Seriously. They spread rumors of me sleeping with officer x officer y and officer z. It ruined my credibility for a period of time because it made OTHER officers see me not as a dispatcher but as someone to sleep with. I was disrespected and treated very poorly by them. I even had some of them "pulling me over" after work just to "talk" because they wanted to harass me and "joke". Once I got married (to someone who was never in law enforcement) the rumors stopped and I was able to regain my credibility as a dispatcher.

Another reason I feel I'm not bullied is because of my age. I look very young, I get carded if my husband and I go to an R rated movie. However I'm a few months shy of the 30 mark. The older I get the less I care about others in that way. Not everyone has to like me. Not everyone needs to think I'm full of rainbows and sunshine. Doesn't matter. I've had a hard journey in my 30 years. Between getting kicked out of my parents home when I turned 18, having a baby in my early 20s, being a single mother, being laid off, being so poor that I literally couldn't afford a mattress and slept on an air bed with no other furniture in my house, being laid off again, almost dying from meningitis, and several other things in my life.. I've learned to be a little more tough and not cry over something as simple as "someone not liking me".

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I love that quote.

I never heard it before I came to AN.

It's inspiring. It strengthens. I could most definitely see myself adopting it as my mantra.

Unfortunately, it's just not true.

Actually, it IS true. You cannot control what anyone else says or does, but you can control how you react to it.

If that's the case, I wish we would quit using the word "bullying." That is not bullying.

That word, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I keep using that word? Do you even know me? Have you even seen me in a thread? I'm sorry if you're trying to use "you" in a general sense. Make it clear.

And I didn't say it was bullying per se. I was responding to OP who asked if marrieds are bullied at work. I said "maybe bullying..."

Get your facts straight and don't accuse me of things I haven't said.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
Actually, it IS true. You cannot control what anyone else says or does, but you can control how you react to it.

I think I like LadyFree's idea that it's debatable better.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I keep using that word? Do you even know me? Have you even seen me in a thread? I'm sorry if you're trying to use "you" in a general sense. Make it clear.

And I didn't say it was bullying per se. I was responding to OP who asked if marrieds are bullied at work. I said "maybe bullying..."

Get your facts straight and don't accuse me of things I haven't said.

It's a line from a movie. And being asked to work extra is in no way, shape, or form bullying. It's a necessity at times. Perhaps you didn't mean that the way you wrote it, but your post

Maybe bullying in the sense of management asking you to work extra shifts...somehow if you're married and have kids your free time is worth more than mine because I'm single.
does indeed imply that you believe being asked to work extra is bullying.
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