Accused of being racist - how to handle? - page 5

In caring for an African American child this morning, her father accused me of being both "racist" and "uppity." Apparently, while I was tending to his child, he asked me repeatedly how to make a... Read More

  1. by   TheCommuter
    This is overkill.

    In addition, can you provide some reputable documentation proving that white people in America are being oppressed?
    Quote from TrudyRN
    You must henceforth refuse to care for this child. I mean it, friend. Don't walk, run from this insane man. He will doubtless sue at the drop of a hat and you have a perfect right to completely refuse to put yourself in harm's way.

    Document all of your nursing care meticulously but I think I'd leave out the part about his ignorant and racist remark, as it is not really related to the child's care. Do an incident report, absolutely keep a copy. Get the family's address, full name, etc. so you have this info for future ref, which you will, hopefully, not need. Notify not just your boss but hers as well that this happened and that you will not be caring for this family again. Let them threaten you and cajole you all they want, do not knuckle under. This is extremely serious and you could well find yourself out of a job, out of a license, when this balloons. Hopefully, it will not balloon and this jerk will never even come to the hospital again. But while hoping for the best, you must prepare for a firestorm.

    Can you imagine trying to teach the family anything? If anything goes the slightest bit wrong, they will say it's because you are anti-black. Do not allow your boss to put you into this situation again. I mean it.

    These are perilous times and you must take every precaution. Did he threaten you with violence? People get nuts where their kids are involved. Unfortunately, with the allegation of racism made against a white person, the white must prove otherwise and that is often impossible to do. That won't stop your employer, though, from taking the patient's side, just to stop them from suing the hospital. Believe me, if it comes down to your word against his, you'll be the loser. That is the reality today.

    I know there is a long history of oppression of blacks in our nation but now there is oppression of whites. It is just as wrong as the former condition ever was. If you're like me, your family was not even in America during slave years and Jim Crow years.

    I doubt it but maybe someday race relations will actually normalize.
  2. by   pagandeva2000
    Quote from Susan9608
    I talked with my charge nurse and my supervisor. There is no one who can really switch assignments with me, so what we decided is that the charge nurse will go in and do all the teaching that needs to be done.

    One of my co-workers suggested that I document what he said, but I'm kind of hesitant to do that. is this the kind of thing that you document?
    YES IT IS that kind of thing to document. I am a Black American nurse, and have been told by some patients and/or families who were Haitian, West Indian and Guyanese that I was only looking out for my own American race, and to protect myself, I documented what they said. Maybe get advice from your nursing supervisor how to write it up, but, do it. This man seemed to have his priorities wrong, now you, but suddenly he wants to transfer his negativity to you. You never know where this can go. At least get practice because this can easily happen again under different circumstances. It may be another minority, gay or disabled person that may say this to you and make your life miserable. Good luck, and at least speak to your charge nurse and supervisor on how to document this.
  3. by   I_am_Julia
    perhaps bit more "research" on your part can yield an equal amount of conflicting views. a few articles doesn't validate an entire generalization.


    Quote from cherish
    not defending the paranoia and health care but here is some articles you can read up on. just recently saw on 60 minutes about the lack of trust that african americans have with health care institutions and the care they receive.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...081701437.html

    http://www.boston.com/news/nation/ar...re_for_blacks/

    http://abcnews.go.com/health/story?id=2602636

    http://www.cancerpage.com/news/article.asp?id=9649
  4. by   firstyearstudent
    Quote from TheCommuter
    This is overkill.

    In addition, can you provide some reputable documentation proving that white people in America are being oppressed?
    Yeah, I'd like to learn about this oppression of whites, too. It sounds like propaganda that the KKK and Aryan Nation sends out to whip up righteous indignation where none is deserved in order to fuel racial hatred.
  5. by   SharonH, RN
    Quote from Susan9608
    Both of these statements make it seem like it's a common and accepted pattern of behavior for minorities to claim racism, even if they don't truly believe racism is occurring, just to push buttons or incite anxiety. I find it digusting if that's true and if other people accept that behavior as okay or typical. Why should minorities get to engage in these types of behaviors just because their minorities?


    How in the world did you derive that it is a "common and accepted pattern of behavior" from those two statements? The people who made those statements were trying to be supportive of you (as was I) and you turned their words around and made up some garbage like this from them? That's just what you are accusing that father of doing. Isn't that something? I'm starting to think that the father was onto something with you. You see, the truth does eventually come out.
  6. by   chuck1234
    It is not easy to be in your shoes. In the City of New York, the population is diversified. However, when it comes to African American, I am alway polite...never confrontational. You have to know many black people experience racism...it is part of their life. It is not easy for them to trust you. In your case, I would probably tell him that I have to deal with his child first....then I would help him after that. I hope my experience will help.
    Last edit by chuck1234 on May 25, '07
  7. by   firstaiddave907
    Quote from VIXEN007
    I would have said, look, I can't help you right now. My first priority is the child. Either you can wait for me to take care of the child or you can go to the information desk and get help there.
    Thats a good point.
  8. by   firstaiddave907
    wow that guy sounds like he wants to start trouble. and anyways isn't your top piroty the patients. I understand getting up set because the phone card does not work but your not racist by any means. unless im missing something and i applogize if i have missed aything.
  9. by   tgb3rn
    Quote from TrudyRN
    You must henceforth refuse to care for this child. I mean it, friend. Don't walk, run from this insane man. He will doubtless sue at the drop of a hat and you have a perfect right to completely refuse to put yourself in harm's way.

    Document all of your nursing care meticulously but I think I'd leave out the part about his ignorant and racist remark, as it is not really related to the child's care. Do an incident report, absolutely keep a copy. Get the family's address, full name, etc. so you have this info for future ref, which you will, hopefully, not need. Notify not just your boss but hers as well that this happened and that you will not be caring for this family again. Let them threaten you and cajole you all they want, do not knuckle under. This is extremely serious and you could well find yourself out of a job, out of a license, when this balloons. Hopefully, it will not balloon and this jerk will never even come to the hospital again. But while hoping for the best, you must prepare for a firestorm.

    Can you imagine trying to teach the family anything? If anything goes the slightest bit wrong, they will say it's because you are anti-black. Do not allow your boss to put you into this situation again. I mean it.

    These are perilous times and you must take every precaution. Did he threaten you with violence? People get nuts where their kids are involved. Unfortunately, with the allegation of racism made against a white person, the white must prove otherwise and that is often impossible to do. That won't stop your employer, though, from taking the patient's side, just to stop them from suing the hospital. Believe me, if it comes down to your word against his, you'll be the loser. That is the reality today.

    I know there is a long history of oppression of blacks in our nation but now there is oppression of whites. It is just as wrong as the former condition ever was. If you're like me, your family was not even in America during slave years and Jim Crow years.

    I doubt it but maybe someday race relations will actually normalize.

    Just thought I would point out in your post where YOU were showing discrimination tward me, a MALE RN---:spin: :trout: KIDDING IN EVERY WAY ON THIS!!!!!!!! Just trying to lighten up the thread some HAVE FUN:spin:
    Tom
  10. by   nursinghopefully
    What a major terd this guy was!!!!!! maybe his poor daughter will get him back later with this............
  11. by   CHATSDALE
    maybe he was upset and was trying to call relatives about the condition of his child
    that doesn't give him the right to accuse you of something you are innocent of. but don't do the samething that you see him doing
  12. by   Ms.RN
    Quote from susan9608
    in caring for an african american child this morning, her father accused me of being both "racist" and "uppity." apparently, while i was tending to his child, he asked me repeatedly how to make a long-distance phone call with a calling card. i gave him the instructions as i know them, but apparently he was still unable to place this call. his child was de-satting at the time, and had blood coming from the incisions in her mouth and secretions pouring from her trach. his phone call was not at the top of my priority list.

    so he asked me if "you have something against black people or something." i guess because i was tending to his child and not helping him place his important phone call, i'm now racist.

    i'm having a hard time because a) i feel very insulted and b) i'm supposed to teach him how to care for his child so she can go home today. how receptive to me is he going to be if he thinks i'm racist? and i'm not sure about dealing with my own feelings after being accused of being racist.

    i'm honestly not sure how he got that i'm racist just because i was occupied at the moment and couldn't help him place his phone call. in all honesty, i'm pretty pissed. any suggestions on how to handle this?
    as a nurse, you are going to meet alot of obnoxious, rude patients and families. you just have to learn to ignore what they are saying.
  13. by   LadyEJ BSN, RN
    Quote from Susan9608
    Both of these statements make it seem like it's a common and accepted pattern of behavior for minorities to claim racism, even if they don't truly believe racism is occurring, just to push buttons or incite anxiety. I find it digusting if that's true and if other people accept that behavior as okay or typical. Why should minorities get to engage in these types of behaviors just because their minorities?
    This is the real world, and sometimes its disgusting. And believe it or not people do sick and nasty things. You pissed him off so he wanted to piss you off. Im not saying that it is appropriate or "okay" but IT HAPPENS. I'm terribly sorry that this happened to you, he was totally out of line for accusing you of being racist. I was hoping to help you understand that it was probably not personal and as "disgusting" as it may be some people pull the race card when it does not apply. Its almost as "disgusting" as actual racism.

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