I just have to vent a little bit here, sorry.
I came back to work recently after being on a 2 month medical leave for a tibial stress fracture. They were kind enough to give me a little time to get reoriented before putting me in charge again (I did/do charge fairly frequently). This was my second night in charge and it was a doozy. I work 12 hour shifts and was in charge for the PM portion.
I just felt like I had NO patience today. My patients didn't see that side of me, of course, but EVERYTHING that was going wrong was getting on my nerves. Add FIVE admissions to that, and I was ready to lose it (three from ER, one post op from another floor, one direct admit from a rural hospital that I STILL question the reason she came to us). The last one was a short stay patient (so, going home the same night) whose surgery had been bumped, so we didn't get her until after 10pm. She didn't belong on OUR floor, but we got her since the floor she should have gone to, according to my nursing supervisor, was "swamped." All I could think was, well, what would you call what WE are right now??!!
I admit 100% that my attitude SUCKED tonite. I felt like I was pedaling as fast as I could on a bicycle and then the wheels fell off, but I had to keep going. Being in charge, I had my own assignment (which is the same size as anyone else's), but I still feel responsible for helping others get their things done and I didn't feel like I could help like I should have been, but I was busy too, just with my own patients! I also just was generally short-tempered and could NOT keep the complaints from coming out (I HATE that, too, I felt like a whiner but could not shut up!). It was just a bad night, and I feel like I made it worse by getting as stressed out as I did.
I have the weekend off, and go back Monday. This is my vow to put my smile back on, and roll with the punches a whole lot better! I don't want to be *THAT nurse*, ya know?? (I would have despised working with me today, and that makes me sad). I hate it when the circumstances get the best of me.
Thanks for letting me whine, one more time.....back to it Monday with a whole different attitude.