Night shifts hard with family

  1. Hi! I am a new grad that was a LPN before I became an RN. Well, I have recently started in the NICU, which I feel is my passion, but I am working nights. Well, my baby as well as my husband are not appreciating me working nights. Everytime I leave for work I am almost in tears. My manager says she cannot let me go to days because she cannot switch anyone right now, and there are already others that want to go to days that have been waiting 6 months (at least). She also will not let me go to part time because I am a new grad and do not have the experience. Well, I am in this dilemma to find a day job and enjoy my baby and family or do nights in the job I love but let my family suffer. My husband says not to worry that I will be able to do the NICU sometime, and I have the rest of my life to do the NICU if that is what I want. I have a interview with a peds home health. I am wondering if I do this until later if I will still have a chance in the NICU in the future?
    •  
  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   Jolie
    I agree with your hubby. Do what is best for your family and baby right now. Your baby will not be a baby for long, but NICUs will always exist.

    Peds home health, mother-baby, general peds, and peds office/health department clinic would all be good choices for jobs that may offer hours more compatible with your family needs.

    Good luck!
  4. by   Heather725 RN
    I am a night shift peds nurse as well. Although I don't have babies, my youngest just turned 8, I find working at night easier. I do 12hr weekend program. I work Friday & Saturday night 7p-7a. I occasionally pick up a night during the week, but all in all I am home during the week and when all the kids come home from school to do homework and cook dinner, drive to games & practices and whatnot. I am considered full time on the weekend program and get a $10 shift diffrential. Maybe there is something out there like that for you. Good luck
  5. by   Lisa CCU RN
    I don't understand, but I would think working nights would be easier actually with kids. Do you work five days a week or just three?
  6. by   Gompers
    I haven't gone back to work yet (still on maternity leave) but when I do, I'm returning to nights in the NICU. I actually prefer to do this. By working nights, I'm not going to miss my baby growing up like I would if I worked day shift - then I'd have to put her in daycare since my husband works a regular M-F 9-5 job. I will have to find help once or twice a week so that I can take a long nap before and after work, but since at least one or two of my shifts will be on the weekends when my husband is home, I will not need very much childcare at all. I only work 3 12's a week, so I have more evenings/nights off a week than on. My husband is used to me working nights, and the days I work will be his special bonding time with the baby. My mom worked three evenings a week when I was a kid and I remember those being the days that my dad fed me dinner and tucked me into bed. It was no big deal and is actually one of the reasons my dad and I are still so close!

    If you work 5 8's a week, I can see why your husband might get a little upset if you've never worked nights before and he's not used to having the bed to himself. But then again, you're there all evening long in that case and get to spend time with your family...

    Most of the nurses I work with work or DID work nights when their kids were small. It just makes things easier for childcare.

    But you have to do what feels right for YOU and your family.

    I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do!
  7. by   RN_Amanda
    Well, I breastfeed and cosleep with my baby. So, she is used to having mommy there all night long. Also, hubby works early AMs and since the baby doesn't sleep as well for him it is hard for him to get to work. I also sincerely miss out on mine and the baby's cuddling time at night. When I was working days during orientation it was so much easier on the family.
  8. by   BBFRN
    Amanda,

    I feel for ya! I was fortunate to get a dayshift position after my baby was born. I had to- I was tired all the time, and my baby had respiratory problems . After I came home one morning to her having difficulty breathing with stridor and retractions (DH isn't a nurse and didn't recognize this as a major problem), she ended up in the hospital for several days (RSV, Pneumonia) This event made the decision to al least go to days a must. My baby also didn't sleep as well without me there.

    Take care of yourself and family first. Everything will work out in the end, I promise. Home Health is a great idea- more flexibility, at least when I did it. If you were able to get a NICU job now, you should be able to get one later, right?

    Take care.
  9. by   Jolie
    I would also like to suggest trying to appeal to your manager's practical side. I understand that FT is desirable for a new NICU nurse to enhance learning and independence, but if PT the only way you can continue to work in your unit, perhaps she would relent.

    I had one situation where I told my manager that I either needed to go per diem, or quit altogether. Hubby had benefits thru his job, so I didn't need them, but I did need the flexiblity to set my own schedule. She didn't want to let me do it, but it made no sense to lose an employee who had recently completed orientation (which costs tens of thousands of dollars), and was available to do weekends and off shifts (on my own terms).

    So, it might be worth your while to try.
  10. by   Spidey's mom
    I agree - NICU or any nursing job for that matter will always be available but this time with your baby will not.

    It is a cliche but kids do grow up fast . . . mine are almost 24, 22, 17 and 5.

    I am a co-sleeper and breastfeeding mom too - breastfed my last two kids until they were 3 and 3 1/2. Still sleep with the 5 y.o.

    steph
  11. by   RN_Amanda
    Unfortnately my manager will not give in to me switching to PT. She told me I would have to have 1 year of experience to switch to part time, and it would be at least 9 months to 1 year before I get to days. I just simply can't wait that long. so, it is off to find a new job. It sux, but one day I will get back into the NICU.
  12. by   Jolie
    Quote from RN_Amanda
    Unfortnately my manager will not give in to me switching to PT. She told me I would have to have 1 year of experience to switch to part time, and it would be at least 9 months to 1 year before I get to days. I just simply can't wait that long. so, it is off to find a new job. It sux, but one day I will get back into the NICU.
    Sorry to hear that, both for you and the unit's sake. But if she won't budge, then take your thirty-thousand dollar's worth of orientation and put it to good use elsewhere!
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Jolie
    Sorry to hear that, both for you and the unit's sake. But if she won't budge, then take your thirty-thousand dollar's worth of orientation and put it to good use elsewhere!
    I agree - your manager is not a very flexible person - you might want to work somewhere else just for this reason.

    steph
  14. by   CHATSDALE
    i can see both sides of the coin here, your mgr canot pass by other nurses who may also have reasons to go to days
    i hope that you find a job that you enjoy and that lets you and your family will have a good life

close