Wow, Sandi..."idiotic parents"?...here's a virtual margarita from me to you?
What I was really wondering was how aggressive your teams get when they are presented with these types of babies, though in hindsight, I realize that so much of it is wrapped up with parental desire that this question is a difficult one to answer.
Also, the more I thought about the whole PNC thing, well, our moms usually come in off of the street, and PNC is rarely seen. I suppose that could be another reason this seems to happen so often on our unit- we don't get to reach them ahead of time to discuss possibilities; prenatal US is virtually unheard of with our demographic, and the mom who has PNC is rare and most definitely the exception to the rule.
The nurse who was working with this baby was a new grad, and she was having a very hard time grappling with the ethics of this type of situation (haven't we all been THERE, you know?).
I think we're at a disadvantage because of the area we're in (urban, very poor, etc.), the types of patients we recieve (VERY young, mostly uneducated, unemployed, etc.), and the fact that we're part of a teaching network where most of our "counseling" is done by residents and interns who change every 30 days and usually are just "breezing through" on their way to their residency of choice, and who typically don't want to discuss this because it's hard and it's new to them, so it gets passed off and dealt with rather brusquely sometimes.
Add to that that our "grief counselor" is a single person who I've never met in my entire life and is rarely available, our "clergy" consists of one Catholic priest and one nun who are never available at night and have a limited effectiveness in such matters, etc. and it's not an ideal situation to aid someone dealing with circumstances like these.
Ahhhh, I'm a bit frustrated. Thanks for the input, ya'll. ;>)