Have any of you all heard all the hoopla in Reno about the new "branding" attempts by Washoe Medical Center????
Short review of events:
Over a year ago, the suits in the penthouse offices decided that a name like "Washoe Medical Center" sounded too much like a "county hospital" (Snide aside: You know, one of those places that treat the unattractive and under-funded sick folk.) So, they let it be known that they were in consultation with marketing geniuses (another S.A.: the kind that charge many dollars per hour for their time) to come up with a new "brand name" with which to label our great hospital and health care system (or... in the terminology of marketing experts... our "product".)
Last Thursday, in the pre-dawn hours when I came to work... the place was all over with TV satellite trucks and cables for cameras and microphones and reporters and canope's and tables laden with gimmick gear and fancy eats... all in our new institutional signature colors... are you ready??? purple and school bus yellow!!!!
And the name all the geniuses came up with IS....
When we (non-geniuses) heard about it we were like... "Ok. Stop with the jokes. Now tell us really. What is the new name?"
Already we're known in the community as RETARTED REGIONAL. The panoply of jokes about the new name is huge.
"Mayo Clinic was so jealous of our new name, they are changing theirs to SUPERFABULOUS MEDICAL CENTER." Southwestern Medical Center, University of Texas in Dallas will be renaming themselve "YIP-YIP-YAHOO!!! HOSPITAL. And the University of Minnesota is going to call their tertiary care center PRETTY-GOOD-HOSPITAL-MOSTLY"
Otherwags have decided that Monty Python (who famously came up with the "Ministry of Silly Walks") has created a "Central Administration for Stupid Names" and that RENOWN HEALTH was the only one left when the geniuses went to choose ours.
Alternatively, folks are beginning to imagine that RENOWN sure sounds like the name Big Pharma is going to pin on their next pill for erectile disfunction. Instead of the hallmark blue it will be purple with big yellow stripes. "Take one... and be RENOWN for the night!"
A nurse confronted a neurosurgeon who was rounding in a set of scrubs
from our competing hospital. She admonished him that he was breaking with the new spirit, and that soon RENOWN is going to have the OR personnel in the signature purple scrubs. He just looked at her like this was awful. Then, she went on to explain, your bonnets and booties are going to be bright yellow. (Now he was looking genuinely apalled). And THEN she said, they'll give you the big red rubber nose to wear with it. Everyone cracked up laughing.
You gotta laugh or you'll cry.
Seriously... when our unit is slammed with transfers from ICU, post op neurosurgical patients, and direct admits from ER... we aren't allowed to call in another nurse. Budgets being what they are, of course. But they can spend incredible amounts on this frivolous foolishness (including website makeovers, the verbiage and images on our hospital vehicles, our name tags, every sign throughout the campus, big media events, consultants, PR experts...) it's enough to make you want to weep.
And it just gets better. We're going to all get new monochrome scrubs to wear. Housekeeping in THEIR scrub-colors, dietary in theirs, clerical in their own unique shades, and all the nurses will be wearing the specified "Nurse Colored" scrubs. We are convinced they are going to put us in Big-Bird Yellow.
Oh, give me strength.