You know you're a neuro nurse if.....

  1. 11 I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

    You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

    Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

    Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

    If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

    Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

    You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

    You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

    You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

    You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

    You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

    You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

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  3. Visit  Elenaster profile page

    About Elenaster

    Joined Apr '00; Posts: 880; Likes: 34.

    70 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  gwenith profile page
    2


    You are living "Survivor Intubation" and that means that the !#@# Propofol and restraints do NOT come off until the consultant is actually in the unit - no matter how many times the new resident tells you it is safe to turn it off at 0600!!!

    You have ever had a patient write down the answers to "what day is it? and Where are you?" on the bottom of the tissue box and then catch them checking the answers:roll

    You have ever spent an entire shift saying "you are in hospital - you had an accident"


    I'll think of some more and post them later
  5. Visit  Elenaster profile page
    12

    Good ones Gwenith!

    How about (this is really awful):

    You and your co-workers are going to write a book entitled, "How to successfully shoot yourself in the head," including tips on why blowing off your face is bad, reasons not to use a shotgun, and why shooting out your frontal lobe will make you a huge burden to your family.
    mynnurse, MB-mom.RN, nrsang97, and 9 others like this.
  6. Visit  suzanne4 profile page
    2
    When the residents come in for early rounds in the morning, still on night shift, they are asking the patient what is the date, aand they are all checking their watches..............

    First sentence in report is when the pt pooped last....................
  7. Visit  jnette profile page
    2
    Great thread.......... these are cute ! :chuckle

    I could think of some doozies specific to Dialysis, too ...
  8. Visit  bellehill profile page
    4
    When you judge craniotomy scars on their "coolness"

    You applaude your patients who puke and miss their Miami J collar

    Your patient says, "Haven't you figured out the date yet, I have been telling you all day long."

    You can peg a pseudoseizure in 10 seconds
    nrsang97, sethmctenn, Redriot, and 1 other like this.
  9. Visit  gwenith profile page
    6
    You have ever gone to assess you patient only to find them sitting up in bed arms crossed saying

    "My name is John Smith It is Tuesday the 20th April and I am in Woop Woop Hospital - now have you got any OTHER questions???"
  10. Visit  NeuroICURN profile page
    1
    OMG guys....I almost peed myself reading those!

    I've had more than one patient flip off me and the docs when asked to hold up two fingers! LOL

    And I swear I love that look that other RNs give you when you tell them you work neuro....and actually like it! :chuckle
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  11. Visit  my2sons profile page
    2
    ...when you've suctioned brain out of someone's nose with a Yankauer. And re-applied a moustache dressing for visiting hours. ugh. sorry so gross.
  12. Visit  elkpark profile page
    10
    How about (this is really awful):

    You and your co-workers are going to write a book entitled, "How to successfully shoot yourself in the head," including tips on why blowing off your face is bad, reasons not to use a shotgun, and why shooting out your frontal lobe will make you a huge burden to your family.
    :chuckle Not neuro, but in the neighborhood: I've spent years trying to convince the rest of the psych nursing community that we should develop a series of Public Service Announcements for TV and radio on "Ways You Should Not Bother Trying to Kill Yourself, Because They Won't Work" ...
  13. Visit  Brickman profile page
    6
    My dream is to open a facility that only cares for comatose orpans. (no call bells or family) I figure neuro nurses will line up to work there.
  14. Visit  nursemike profile page
    1
    Quote from elkpark
    :chuckle Not neuro, but in the neighborhood: I've spent years trying to convince the rest of the psych nursing community that we should develop a series of Public Service Announcements for TV and radio on "Ways You Should Not Bother Trying to Kill Yourself, Because They Won't Work" ...
    Had Anatomy with an EMT for a lab partner. We just don't see most of the gunshots to the head, only the ones that don't work. Not that I'm recommending it.
    I start my psych rotation Monday. Hope it isn't horrible. Do look forward to seeing my friends in EMT, though. Most should be due for a little "rest".
    Last edit by nursemike? on May 15, '04
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  15. Visit  ksfrn66 profile page
    2
    When the staff are flipping coins to see who gets the next GSW to head or post-op craniotomy.....!!


    Neurosurgeon asks 2d post-op crani for occipital tumor how many fingers he (the surgeon) has. Guy pauses, then says, "I reckon you have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs". Neurosurgeon, of course, did not appreciate the humor in it...:angryfire
    Only in West by golly Virginia...............LOL


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