You know you're a neuro nurse if.....

Specialties Neuro

Published

I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

:lol2:

Specializes in Neuro ICU.

You are making bets with the docs about what the opening ICP will be or making bets about what the SBP will be with the new art line established especially when it squirts across the room and we think its cool.

CT staff calls us anal...dont mess with our lines, EVD, art lines, ETTs....we will do it and we will take the time to get it right

Specializes in gen icu/ neuro icu/ trauma icu/hdu.

You refer to motorcycles as donor cycles.

You can place a nasogastric tube almost as fast as they can pull them out.

Ditto for tracheostomys.

You realise that staying failthful to your partner can save your life (hey I've only seen 1 intracoital ICH with their leagally recognised partner)

You know people with a negative teeth to tatoo ratio are indestructable......

You describe both chronological age and ct brain age appearance. (eg 35 year old male, PFO with a 80 year old brain)

Specializes in gen icu/ neuro icu/ trauma icu/hdu.
that's so interesting. I've had quite a number of neuro patients recently, and I'll admit they do have a distinct odor. Last week, I cared for a pt with Locked-in Syndrome...how sad, anyway, I gave her a bath and just tried to make her comfortable all day. She still had the odor after the bath. What's that all about?

I think its a combination of the dry mouth, reduced saliva production and the O sign or mouth kept partially open due to either tubes or decreased GCS. That and most of the traumas I've seen have had pretty bad teeth..:bugeyes::o

Specializes in Neuro ICU.

You know people with a negative teeth to tatoo ratio are indestructable......

LOL this cracked me up!

You go home singing what ever your last frontal patients song was....mine: 101 drag queens, 101 ducks!

Specializes in Author/Business Coach.

I agree with the comment from other nurses saying "Ewwwwww Neuro!" But I love it!!

You know you're a neuro nurse when you like the vented, restrained and sedated patients...

You absolutely DREAD visiting hours...

You don't blink twice when you have a pt with bolts coming out of their head...

You wonder how you came out alright when you were a kid and fell and hit your head...

You've ever had to explain to a family that what the neurosurgeon meant when he said the surgery was successful was that the patient lived through it.....

When the only useful thing you learned in High School was wrestling.

I think this is the only reason i make such a good Neuro nurse. good being a nice term for lift team or Code-R's. As well as patients who aren't on Diprivan yet haha.

There is a simple remedy to this problem - refill the bladder with about 50 mls - either use warm saline or simply clamp the tubing for an hour or so.

The problem is caused by irritation of the catheter tip against the bladder wall and re-inflating the bladder moves the wall away from the bladder tip. You only occasionally need to re-inflate a second time. Warn the patient that this will take time to work. Even if you use warm saline - give it a few minutes for the spasms to settle before releasing the catheter and letting it drain.

Once you tried this once or twice (remember that it does take that little bit of time - especially if you simply clamp the catheter) but it DOES work and works well

wow didnt know that thanks :)

No matter how many different ways you tell a family that their loved one is brain dead, they still look at the patient and say "Oh you're doing so good. You're gonna pull through this." and believe it too.

Specializes in Neuro Critical Care.

Your patient's family starts to do the neuro check with you every hour.

You squirt your co-workers with left over Mannitol because it's cool.

You use a penlight so much you need a new one every week.

You are able to converse with a completely confused patient and a completely aphasic patient.

You know the transport team and the CT techs by first name, and some of their family.

You do an extra exam because you "have a bad feeling".

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

Had a pt not too long ago who was AOX3, speech clear and appropriate, denied pain, nausea, numbness, tingling--assessment WNL all the way down the line. But when I asked, "How are you feeling?" he replied that he was okay, except that he felt confused. Couldn't specify confused about what, just "confused."

So I gave him a GCS of 14, because he thought he was confused, but clearly he wasn't confused, except about being confused. (Actually, he was a few hours post-ictal and probably just a little woozy around the edges. Didn't page the neurologist, but just mentioned it when I saw her next.)

I used to joke about doing it, but more recently actually have paged to report a neuro change when the GCS increased. Usually just save that until I see the doc again, though.

One of my coworkers had a pt last night who posted his name, b-day, what day it was and where he was on a sign of his door, because he wanted to get some sleep.

The only unit where you put restraints on for patients that touch their rear then scratch their incision.

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