I am in the same boat, I'm fresh out of school and just started working in a neuro- ICU. Yesterday was my 6th day caring for one pt; it's been tough. My preceptor is a young nurse who has been in the system for one year and she makes me feel very stupid sometimes. She hardly criticises me in my face, but when she does, it's not constructive. She tells me I fall behind (I don't know what she specifically means and never tells me areas I need to improve), she also said I am overly confident,in other words, arrogant, which I think is a very wrong perception. I am as humble as I can be always willing to learn.
Being trained in a electronic system of charting, transitoning to a paper charting system hasn't been smooth. I've been able to fill out most of the section on large flowsheet alone, however, when I leave a blank spaces because of a unique situation and ask her for help, she queries me, saying "You've been herelong enough and I expect you to know all these". She hardly spends 20 continues minutes with me, she leaves her two patients (plus mine, so 3) with me to talk to other nurses or see a friend on another unit, leaving me petrified.And when she comes back and something hasn't been done she queries me. Fortunately or unfortunately, I usually hear what she says to other nurses about me, because some of 'em are double agents. I feel very frustrated sometimes. Frustration , they say is a sign of weakness, I don't want to be that way, I'm humble, willing and ready to learn, I wanna be the competent nurse.
She talks to me like a kid and makes me feel so unwanted sometimes. I'm a male nurse originally from Africa, I lived and schooled in the states for most part of my post-secondary education, however, I still have an accent. You should see the grimace of digust on her face when I am talking to her
. This won't stop me from asking questions and making sure the right decision are made.
She has already made some reports to my clinician and I have had a meeting with her. My clinician said I should learn to work with her ( I don't know what my preceptor told her though). Yesterday, before I left for home, she said "be ready to take two patients when you come in next week"
I dont know why things are going so rough. I am just another human being willing to care for another person. Why all these hurdles? With the help of God, I know I'll grow in this profession and become a competent nurse.
God Bless Nurses.