NCLEX it's come to this...

For all of my time in nursing school I believed that I was somehow broken. You know those students who walk into tests with that annoying, "What will be will be," attitude? Yup that was me.

When I failed a test I wasn't even upset. I just saw it as something I needed to work on, an opportunity to up my student nursing game as the case may be. In short, every single type A in my class (which was pretty much everyone but me) was convinced I had some sort of mental illness. *Crazed note - given that I had the highest score on the mental health portion of our curriculum I'm pretty sure that if I do have a mental illness it's a nice one.

So with my trusty ATI com predictor score in hand (98%) and having done well over 3k questions by this point from multiple sources I registered for NCLEX. Then that night I went to sleep. The following events are so weird I'm not sure I could make them up.

I had a dream where I went to a facility to donate clothing. All of the elevators looked like they belonged on submarines or they were some sort of Victorian/steampunk mash up, and they were all broken. So instead of taking the elevator I had to walk through an indoor court yard, and hand the items to a woman behind a door (which strangely looked like the backdoor of my house). Once I had given her the bags I felt like she wouldn't get them to the people that needed them so I turned to get them from her. She then slammed the door in my face. At this juncture the only thing that seemed reasonable in my dream was to grab the curtain rod (located now on the outside of the door) and attempt to break the window. The moment I started this, the woman behind the door pulled out a light saber (you know, like from star wars).

At this point I woke up angry because, you know, light sabers?

My dreams every night since I've registered have been full of nightmares. Fancy hat parties where I didn't have a fancy hat, shelter dogs who have learned to talk and tell me that I need to help them escape except Tommy Lee Jones stands in my way (and who can sneak anything past Tommy Lee Jones?), my ninth grade English teacher having me read Romeo and Juliet but in a way to make it a rap song, etc.

Every night something equally as stupid, and every night I wake up multiple times, kind of angry at my own brain for making me dream stupid things.

I'm sure it's just some underlying anxiety but it's annoying.

Sorry just wanted to vent.