Am wondering if there is a better/ easy way to learn the ABG'S, chemistry values,hematology values and therapeutic drug levels, i am having difficulty craming them.
Aug 29, '11
Billy Rubin paid $0.60 to $1.35 for 6 to 8 steaks (protein) he ate for dinner. He ate so much his tummy hurt, so he thought drinking 35-65 gallons of Ammonia would make his tummy better. Instead he got dizzy and gravity ( urine specific gravity) was to strong he hit the floor at 1.01. to 1.030 miles per hour. His neighbor found him sleeping in his dog house so he tried to help Billy by giving him 70-110 lollipops (Glucose), he then got hungry again and decided to have 25-151 potatos (Amylase), while he was waiting for his food to cook he read 1.6 to 2.6 magazines (magnesium), he got so fat (Lipase) from all he ate he gained 160 pds .Billy decided he was better off drinking 0.6 to 1.35 bottles of a creatinine supplement, which made him big and strong. While he ate his clothes got stained, he washed it in 98-107 gallons of Clorox (chloride). By the time he got his cloth from the dryer all that was left of them was 2.7 to 4.5 fossils. (phosphorus). Billy then went to the park and bought 14-18 globos ( hemoglobin) from a Mexican and flew away. He flew so high his balloons began to pop and he landed in a pile 200,000-400,000 plates (plt). The plates belong to a street gang of white polar bears (WBC’s) of 5,000-10,000 members, Billy made them very mad. They chased him down the street when a group of 4.5-5.0 million Rescue Rangers (RBC’s) saved him from the angry mob. Billy had a long day & was ready to head home he flew so far he had to hitch hike back a group of Hippies (Hct) decided to pick him up, there were 40-48 women & 42-50 men it was a little bit crowded…but the hippies drove in two caravans made of Iron the women drove a caravan that went 50-170 mph, and the men had a caravan that went 65-175 mph. Billy liked to eat a lot but it started to give him chest pains he went to the doctor and told him he needed to bring his cholesterol back to normal which is 130-200. After he left the doctor he went to donate some plasma (plasma osmolality) for gas money they paid him 280-294 dollars. He filled up his car and drove home on his way home his car broke down when he noticed his car was spilling battery acid (uric acid) for 3.5-7.5 miles. Billy junked his car and went home on the bus. The end.
Therapeutic Drug Levels
Lithium Larry jump from a 0.8 to 1.5 story bldg.
Grave digger dig buried Larry in a 0.5 to 2.0 hole.
Dilan the tin head crushed 10 to 20 beer cans on his head.
Theo called phylline 10-20 times on the phone but she never answered his calls.
Gary went hunting and ate 4 to 10 micin bit off their heads.
Couma Cary slept for 10-12 years and then King Kerry ( vit K antidote)kissed her and woke her up.
Kerry & Cary went to the LOVEnox motel but it only lasted 20-45 seconds.
Kerry wanted to go again but Cary had a headache so she swallowed 10-20 Tylenols and went back to sleep.
Kerry got lonely and drove 100-250 miles looking for some new A*spirin .
Magnesium Maggie married 4-7 men and served them soup with sulfate.
Last edit by hummingbird8191 on Aug 29, '11