Fiance Doesnt Understand

Nursing Students NCLEX

Published

Hello,

I graduated nursing school in 2012 i have tested twice and failed had a baby who will be one this month. I lost my dad 2 weeks ago but jan 1st im getting back to the books. Anyways this is mainly on the attitude i get from my fiance to see if maybe im the one not understanding.

He works long hours to support us i make min wage not much money at all but i care for our daughter full time.

He says things to me like

1. Get your life together

2. You know you can pass just do it

3. Im not telling you what u wanna hear im telling what u dont wanna hear.

4. I need you to pass this test

All this does is get me upset and worked up. Its more pressure on me but he thinks his "tough love" is what i need.

I get so upset because ive given my all to these tests, i want more than anything to pass im not doing it on purpose!!

Opinions. Please!!!!

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Give him the link to this website. Tell him to read all of the posts on the NCLEX discussion forum so that he can see what ALL of us go through to pass NCLEX. Ask him to read all these posts by people who didn't pass the first time. Tell him to also read all the posts about how we all studied, perhaps if he sees this many of us who struggled with the study material, the prep courses and the stress of this monster, and then all of those who needed to take it more than once, he will understand just what it is you are going through. If he wants to create a log in and come in here and talk to us about it, we will answer his questions and address his concerns to the best of our ability and hopefully we can help him to provide the type of support that you need to get through this.

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He means it when he says that he needs you to pass the test. It takes a lot for a man to admit that he can't provide for his family by himself. I hate to think what he will be saying when you pass and it takes forever for you to get a job or you can't get a job in your area at all. Just quietly tell him that you are doing what you can and making you upset is not helping any. Sooner or later, he will realize this. Go somewhere else to study if you can't get cooperation at home. Good luck.

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I don't think that you need to "humor" or baby him if he is being unsupportive. A partner is supposed to enhance your life, and we as women do not need to "quietly assure" any man who is acting out of line. You are going through a lot, and you deserve unconditional understanding and support. My boyfriend gets like this from time to time, we have an 18 month old together, but I remind myself and him that we are together to make eachothers lives better. You should stand up to him about it and always remember that you aren't trapped in anything, so you don't have to humor anyone. That's just my opinion, and I wish you luck for when you take the exam again! You are a strong and determined momma and let no one inflict unwanted pressure on you.

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Thank you all fir your support. I tell him all the time he makee it worse but he dont listen!

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Specializes in hospice.

Why do you want to stay with him? What do you love about him? How does he improve your life? Think honestly about those questions.

Unfortunately, if you decide the answers aren't sufficient, leaving him isn't so simple now with a child. You chose him to be your child's father, and your child has a right to have him around if he's not abusive.

Evaluate the relationship honestly and then figure out from that where you wish to go. Does the good outweigh the bad? Really? Or vice versa?

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Hi Kin, I am so sorry for what you are going through with additional pressure and stress from your fiance. I wish I can say I understand what you are going through however my husband is different. I am a repeat test taker and my husband is my greatest supporter. I have the strength to go on because of my husband support. He is the wind between my wings. The NCLEX is hard enough and to make it worst someone bugging you about not passing. My Dear, Please be strong and don't tell him when you are going to take the NCLEX again. Release the pressure by not telling anyone at all. Keep us posted. You're in my prayers.

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I second the poster above, I would just not mention it to anyone.

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