Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

awww sorry to hear that...maybe you're husband is just trying to challenge you...I guess...well I failed the NCLEX once and now I'm on the process of reviewing and I'm using Saunders...yeah it's sad that Suzanne's plan is no longer available...anyways in time once you had a breather from the result then it's the perfect time for you to sit and take the NCLEX again... relax and take your mind off the frustration...you can do it!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Hi teareyed:

I empathize with you and can relate as a third party. I have a friend from Vietnam, my classmate, she failed on her first sitting and her husband was extremely insensitive. I don't know you nor your husband, but I can imagine that you know him better than all of us and understands why he would react that way. For my friend, I realised its culturally related. I am sorry that your support system isn't what you'd like it to be and can only hope that he will someday understand the magnitude of this exam.

I don't know if you are working in a hospital environment, but if you aren't and you have the opportunity to, I am suggesting that you apply for a job as a CNA (hopefully in this climate you'll find one easy since hospitals are always short on CNAs). Not for the money (although that is always a plus) but for the hands-on experience and familiarity with the medical jargons, day-to-day activities, diagnoses and events of the hospital as a unit. I would further suggest to work on a Med-Surg floor simply because it has a broader scope of being able to practise your skills and gives you an opportunity that you didn't have when you were in nursing school which is to be a little bit more relaxed as you observe and learn (in asking questions). I am a visual learner, I am also international. Alot of the things that were said in class I had no clue until I finally had clinical rotations, it got better when I worked as a nurse tech on a med-surg floor. Nurses are pretty good at helping students or grad nurses to understand new things, delegation, meds, reviewing charts (putting it all together) etc. Each of us learns differently, maybe you're more a visual and auditory learner (hands on). I don't know. Maybe you've tried this before, or maybe its not possible...what do you think?

You can plan your days around this by working maybe 2 days and studying the rest...what do you think guys?

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Originally Posted by vbm83

HEY!!!! I also failed twice! Lets not give up! I am sure we can do it.

Hi vbm83,
You personally are not a failure. This exam is different each time you sit for it and each time you need to study as if you have not taken the exam. With support, determination and motivation you will achieve your goal! Take a break at least for 1 week to grieve because this is normal and your emotional state and body need to heal. When you're ready get back to studying because it's like a full time job. Remember, it does not matter how many times you take the exam nor is it anybody's business. Stay away from negative people because mentally it exhausts you and your #1 focus is family and studying. You can do this!
Debbie

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Same boat, same story! Just like Debbie, just refrain from negative people and dont tell anyone you're taking NCLEX not even on the day you're taking it. It will just make you think of what their reactions whatever the outcome is. Just do your thing: study, understand and never give up! GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Originally Posted by teareyed0001

hi everyone,

I've been checking this site for 6 mons and decided to register today to share my experience. I failed nclex the second time, just found out the result today. I studied the feuer cd's and did kaplan q-trainers and q-bank religiously. my q-trainer averaging 50-60 and q-bank 65. When i took the test feb. 23, 2009 i feel confident (or maybe i'm denial) on Some of my answer on prioritation, satas, further teaching, except for drugs w/c i'm not sure if i got right(i remember 2 lipid lowering drugs coz ends w/ -statins, also 3 psych drugs, and alot weird drugs never heard of. Got 8 satas and 3 drop down, shut me off 120. I got mixed feeling of emotions i dont understand (am I gonna cry or not). I can still remember the last question I have about shingellosis which about priorization, and my answer is something about isolation or to report the early symptoms (i dont think its a high level question), that make me sad. .I know based on my kaplan test, i can get 10 questions right at the same time and I can get 10 wrong question in a row when i start panicking..

I've been crying the whole day. but my heart really broke when my husband called me names (*****, ********). He said i never learned from my mistakes from the first time i took the exam. I'ts hard to explain to somebody who doesnt understand how nclex work. I'm a graduate from a foreign country, he keep on saying my english is bad thats why i cant comprehend/understand the questions. (Is my english really bad? guys do you understand what i wrote?? do i make sense?) I feel bad..I feel i lost all my confidence! Low self esteem..just need someone to talk to..

Hey, we have the same situation. Except that I have kids with him. And just today we just had a fight. I am working as nurse tech 3 nights from 7pm to 7am. He doesnt have a job, well i guess I should say not a permanent job. He is doing this computer job that he wants to make it as a business. Unfortunately he only makes money when somebody will call him, so its not really a job. Well, he knows that I am taking the exam, but he doesnt show his support to me. Instead, he will argue with me and stresses me out almost everyday... I come home from work expecting that he can take care of the kids while Im resting and will work in the night. NO! when he is ****** off he blames evrybody including me. He will scream to my kids, and thats freaking me out! I dont want to argue with him because I am taking my exam soon. But sometimes I cannot take it anymore most especially when he calls me dreadful words or names (stupid, dumb,#@*&%.etc)..... You see, Im the one working in the family and Im doing the review but he always tells me that I am not supporting enough the family? What a freaking husband!... Well, I cry of course and just pray. I know in my heart that I will overcome this and just be patient. But when?????????? will I have to be patient with this situation????? I am totally loss my concentration and no motivation to study. He threathens to divorce me because I am not a responsible mother! What the hell! Who is working in this family????!!!!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Originally Posted by gdj

Hey, we have the same situation. Except that I have kids with him. And just today we just had a fight. I am working as nurse tech 3 nights from 7pm to 7am. He doesnt have a job, well i guess I should say not a permanent job. He is doing this computer job that he wants to make it as a business. Unfortunately he only makes money when somebody will call him, so its not really a job. Well, he knows that I am taking the exam, but he doesnt show his support to me. Instead, he will argue with me and stresses me out almost everyday... I come home from work expecting that he can take care of the kids while Im resting and will work in the night. NO! when he is ****** off he blames evrybody including me. He will scream to my kids, and thats freaking me out! I dont want to argue with him because I am taking my exam soon. But sometimes I cannot take it anymore most especially when he calls me dreadful words or names (stupid, dumb,#@*&%.etc)..... You see, Im the one working in the family and Im doing the review but he always tells me that I am not supporting enough the family? What a freaking husband!... Well, I cry of course and just pray. I know in my heart that I will overcome this and just be patient. But when?????????? will I have to be patient with this situation????? I am totally loss my concentration and no motivation to study. He threathens to divorce me because I am not a responsible mother! What the hell! Who is working in this family????!!!!

When I read posts like this,I feel like I will never get married.

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

To GDJ:
Don't be! Everything will change if both parties never have a problem with financials. Work things out for you and your future. Just go ahead ignore him and just concentrate on you studies. If you become a RN, he will then realize that he cant be all depending to you. If he does it the other way around, then you can have your decision. I know its hard to concentrate when people who are closest to you are the ones who are not very supportive, just try imagine that you are at peace and continue studying and studying. GOODLUCK TO ALL OF US!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

This is domestic violence, you are being verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused.

Trust me the chance of your husband doing you a favor and divorcing you is nil. He is using the threat of divorce as another tactic in his psychological warfare against you. He wants you to feel like nothing and it's not going to end when you eventually pass the NCLEX. When you pass your NCLEX exam he will find something else to criticize you about. Next it will be that you don't work enough OT. When you start trying to work yourself to death he will then complain that you neglect the kids and don't do enough housework. When you try to burn the candle at both ends and be the perfect wife he will then complain that you don't give him enough sex or that you stink in the sack or that your body looks terrible. It will never end and he will never be satisfied because he is an abuser. He knows deep down inside that he is the loser so he is deflecting everything onto you. Think about it..he is the one who can't provide for his family or manage the house while his wife is slaving away at a hard job. He is the loser NOT YOU.

Originally Posted by gdj

Hey, we have the same situation. Except that I have kids with him. And just today we just had a fight. I am working as nurse tech 3 nights from 7pm to 7am. He doesnt have a job, well i guess I should say not a permanent job. He is doing this computer job that he wants to make it as a business. Unfortunately he only makes money when somebody will call him, so its not really a job. Well, he knows that I am taking the exam, but he doesnt show his support to me. Instead, he will argue with me and stresses me out almost everyday... I come home from work expecting that he can take care of the kids while Im resting and will work in the night. NO! when he is ****** off he blames evrybody including me. He will scream to my kids, and thats freaking me out! I dont want to argue with him because I am taking my exam soon. But sometimes I cannot take it anymore most especially when he calls me dreadful words or names (stupid, dumb,#@*&%.etc)..... You see, Im the one working in the family and Im doing the review but he always tells me that I am not supporting enough the family? What a freaking husband!... Well, I cry of course and just pray. I know in my heart that I will overcome this and just be patient. But when?????????? will I have to be patient with this situation????? I am totally loss my concentration and no motivation to study. He threathens to divorce me because I am not a responsible mother! What the hell! Who is working in this family????!!!!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

Originally Posted by Bx_RN2B

This is domestic violence, you are being verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused.

Trust me the chance of your husband doing you a favor and divorcing you is nil. He is using the threat of divorce as another tactic in his psychological warfare against you. He wants you to feel like nothing and it's not going to end when you eventually pass the NCLEX. When you pass your NCLEX exam he will find something else to criticize you about. Next it will be that you don't work enough OT. When you start trying to work yourself to death he will then complain that you neglect the kids and don't do enough housework. When you try to burn the candle at both ends and be the perfect wife he will then complain that you don't give him enough sex or that you stink in the sack or that your body looks terrible. It will never end and he will never be satisfied because he is an abuser. He knows deep down inside that he is the loser so he is deflecting everything onto you. Think about it..he is the one who can't provide for his family or manage the house while his wife is slaving away at a hard job. He is the loser NOT YOU.

I agree with you. This is what really happening to us. He was pist off with me because I won't encash my pto (paid time off). The reason why I don't want to encash is is tHat I don't get to pay the shift difference only the basic pay which is really not enough. I said to him I want to use that pto when I need to study more. And he said there will be no vacation for me. If I worked overtime he complains that I don't take care of the family that I making excuses to do my responsibility. This month I requested from my nurse manager to work only 2 nights and he complains that it will not support the family that I have to do 3 nights. I said to him I want to study because I'm taking my exam soon and it's only for this month. I don't know if this is maybe the effect of his smoking cessation but sometimes he is too much already. He was telling me that he is only staying with me because of the kids and that he was trapped! Gosh! I never planned to marry him. He intentionally got me pregnant because he doesn't want me to go back to my ex. I just pray and pray. Cry and talk to the Lord. It's good that I was raised in a Christian family. I know that God will make a way!

Re: failed nclex twice..losing all my confidence

I'll pray for you too.

Focus on passing your test and getting into an RN position. After that maybe you will be ready to think about making some difficult choices. I wish you the best of luck and remember it really is him and not you.

P.S I smoked cigs for 17 years and I didn't treat my spouse like trash when I quit two years ago. Don't make excuses for his behavior and don't accept any from him. No one is entitled to act like a jerk and treat someone they claim to love like a piece of trash.

Originally Posted by gdj

I agree with you. This is what really happening to us. He was pist off with me because I won't encash my pto (paid time off). The reason why I don't want to encash is is tHat I don't get to pay the shift difference only the basic pay which is really not enough. I said to him I want to use that pto when I need to study more. And he said there will be no vacation for me. If I worked overtime he complains that I don't take care of the family that I making excuses to do my responsibility. This month I requested from my nurse manager to work only 2 nights and he complains that it will not support the family that I have to do 3 nights. I said to him I want to study because I'm taking my exam soon and it's only for this month. I don't know if this is maybe the effect of his smoking cessation but sometimes he is too much already. He was telling me that he is only staying with me because of the kids and that he was trapped! Gosh! I never planned to marry him. He intentionally got me pregnant because he doesn't want me to go back to my ex. I just pray and pray. Cry and talk to the Lord. It's good that I was raised in a Christian family. I know that God will make a way!